| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: What is it about big boobs that guys like so much? I have small breasts, small waist and a big, round butt! My friends tell me I have a great body and that I should be proud, but there's something I don't get. I don't seem to receive that much attention from guys. I mean, sure, it's great that I don't constantly have creeps all over me trying to grope me or anything. But most of my busty friends complain of this. I mean sure they have nice boobs. But I have a great butt and I don't have creeps all over me. What is it about big boobs that attracts so many guys? Small breasts look just like big boobs, only smaller, they're made of fat and breast tissue, they have areolae and nipples, and then why does size play such a huge factor? Again, not that I'd like to have a lot of slobbering creeps all over me, but at the same time I feel a bit inferior and like I'll never be truly sexy. Because if I can't get guys to lose their minds around me with my good assets, it must mean that big boobs are better than everything else. I've met very average girls with big boobs who receive a lot of attention just because of that, and lil' ole average me can't get the same despite having a nice waist and a nice butt. I don't get it. I hate my small boobs! :(I mean the other day I was at a club wearing a sexy outfit that emphasized my assets and I received practically no attention, yet busty girls in tight tops got all the guys buying them drinks and such... and they made no effort aside from dancing, guys approached them. I was dancing and guys didn't approach me! I felt so ugly and unattractive, I thought I looked good but I guess I didn't. I guess small boobs are inferior in the primitive minds of guys. I don't want love right now, so I don't care about guys looking past my flaws and loving me for me. I want guys to want me. To desire me. I don't want to have to make an effort for a guy to like me. I'm coming out of an awful relationship, so I want something careless, fun, and unattached.
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male
reader, airwaterearthfirebender  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Hi OP, you've brought up a lot of views here about breasts and the guys, let's face it, we love the topic of breasts. I'm going to try and give it to you as real and as raw as possible without blowing any hot air up your you know what...lol. I see no point in sugarcoating things. This may also be a case of the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.
Maybe there's some subconscious Freudian connection as breasts remind us of our mother's love as a baby and seeing them makes one subconsciously think "Mommy" and the associated love and nourishment that may have been associated with breast-feeding. I'm sure that may make some squeamish at the thought of it but hey there has to be some reason that men worship and admire them. So of course, they do have a functional purpose besides the obvious visual and sexual appeal to males.
In your case and your experiences, I take no offense to you calling some of us males primitives, because I think many of us are. You could probably say that to one of the primitives and they would probably agree as well. However, would you not agree that it is fairly primitive to want to be desired solely for your physical "assets". So are you behaving really any different than the men you call primitive? That you want to be desired solely for the fact that you were born a female? And that you shouldn't have to expend any energy in the process? That men should just bow down before you and worship the ground you walk on? That some men would do that does not excuse the view that you have some god given right to it solely for being a woman. Especially when you sound lazy about it in not wanting to expend effort. I have yet to come across any culture where being lazy is a desired or attractive trait.
On the one hand you make mention of at least not having all the creeps all over you and groping you, seeing it as a positive of smaller boobs. Yet on the other hand it would appear you want exactly that in wanting to be desired. Do you just want the occasional creep to make a move on you to somehow affirm you are desired, even though you would have nothing to do with him? That's the way it is coming off. You can't have it both ways IMO. A decent guy, even if he thought you had the finest package going, is probably not going to make it obvious or even necessarily approach you.
I would hazard to say that most men will find it hard to be 100% comfortable around a woman who has made it a point to show off her cleavage. Try as some men might to avoid looking, it is very hard to not catch a glimpse. One because if she has made it a point to show them and they are visually in your field of vision, and two because they CAN be such a turn on and such a sign of pure feminine sexuality. But just because they are big does not mean they are attractive to all guys. They could be too big and/or malproportioned, possibly because they are fake or cosmetically modified.
Let's face it, we all have asses and waists, but men don't have breasts, at least most of us don't, so we're going to emphasize the differences more IMO. When I see cleavage, I can't also help but think it also imitates a vagina in that you know there is another location for say a certain tool.
So is bigger necessarily better? My answer to that is NO for a number of reasons. But before I go into those I can't help but think of another question that comes up a lot from the perspective of men...namely...is bigger better in terms of penis size? So now you asked the question, but think of your perspective in that regard and you might just get some insight into your own question on breast size.
If you see a guy who walks into the coffee shop you were imbibing at (lol) and he obviously has an above average bulge in his pants or perhaps an obviously dangling third leg, does that generate an automatic response from you of say..."oh yeah now there's a real man"...and..."I'd really like to (fill in the blanks)"...or perhaps..."oh, how did I even look at that, but it's so big" or "it's so gross can you put that thing away properly, maybe a better holster?" or "it's so big but gross but I can't believe I can't stop looking at it (like it's an accident and you can't stop rubber necking) and maybe you're the woman looking at Mel Gibson's package in the movie What Women Want and he knows you're looking and can read your thoughts!!!
What if said guy was obviously acting like an a-hole to patrons of the establishment? Or dressed like a mobster? Or was handsome as well or considered unattractive to you? Are you still going to see him based only on his package? Regardless of the many other characteristics of such man and whether or not you considered him a potential candidate for your affection, did it prevent you from at minimum gawking at his package? As if it was an entity unto itself? In other words, you still may have found yourself looking whether or not you saw this guy as a potential date.
Anyway, I digress but I think I make my point nonetheless in that, just as many responses have indicated, we're all different in how we translate meaning from breasts and penises and vaginas and asses and their respective sizes etc. etc. while we can all agree that they are visually and/or sexually appealing and/or noticeable on some level, they are still only a part of a larger whole. They don't operate on their own. You can't just go out on a date with the "boobs" per say...
"hi, yes, Ms. Boobs, can I pick you up at 8:00? Yeah, don't worry about Ms. Face or Ms. Brains or Ms. Legs tonight, I'll bring the transportation."
Of course, I'd hazard to guess quite a few women may have felt this way at one time or another... lol.
After all, how do we all distinguish and categorize one another mentally into men or women, young or old, attractive or unattractive etc. etc. It just happens in the brain naturally, it's just the way it works in trying to make sense of the world by judging, classifying, comparing, and categorizing etc.
Now back to my reasons for saying NO as to Is bigger necessarily better?, then I think my thoughts on this and response to your query will come out:
1. Emotional well-being: Why do women feel the need to show? Is such dress appropriate for the venue? So as has been mentioned, if all you're going to is a meat market then in your face cleavage will have it's appeal to many of the attending primitives. But my question is, regardless of breast size, what is the need to put yourself on display? Are there self-esteem issues at play? Is you getting stared at by men of questionable quality somehow appealing?
It would appear, as has been postulated, that you are simply looking for fundamental confirmation of your femaleness or sexuality. But frankly, I think if you think this over, it's not a good idea and will not satisfy your needs in being reduced to a slab of meat by male strangers. You are a woman, period. No need for negative reinforcement. Seek positive reinforcement in that perhaps things ended for a reason which has likely nothing to do with your physical appearance.
Engaging in shallow behavior as you yourself so deem, will only result in a shallow experience that will only damage an already sensitive self-image. IMO it will cheapen you if casual or one night stands are potentially on the agenda not to mention a whole slew of potential ramifications including STDs, pregnancy, additional concerns over self-worth, potential physical abuse, etc. that will only compound issues or feelings you may now be having. IMO, it will cheapen you from your own perspective and that of a potential future partner in that no one wants to think that because you felt down after a break-up that you felt the need to go and have some meaningless experiences by sharing some of the most intimate physical acts with a stranger(s).
So I would rethink your needs and whether you're going about things in a way that will heal or just make things worse. I will borrow from Mr. Gump, Shallow is what shallow does!!!
2. Time tends to favor the average or smaller breast. While we live in the present, it's always wise to have an eye to the future. There's nothing hotter than seeing a SO's nipples through a t-shirt. Larger breasts will be more likely to sag from age and breast feeding and the laws of nature and gravity, and I think many would agree this a less than ideal fate for breasts. Sorry, but contrary to popular opinion I see nothing wrong with thinking selfishly at times and this is such a time. I'm thinking long term and average to smaller is where it's at. They'll likely be perkier longer and, thus, more attractive to ME, although I'm not going to pretend to speak for every male and not all boobs will age the same.
3. Health concern. Less likelihood of back strain resulting from bigger than average breasts. Again, thinking longer term, less likely to develop back problems and there's nothing appealing in that regard either from a woman's or man's perspective.
4. Personal preference. Just to reinforce, breasts are only one part of a woman and they have limited influence in terms of the determination of their size since I see it as primarily a genetic influence assuming a generally healthy lifestyle. Personality, values, brains, determination, confidence, love for one another etc. will win out in the long run. Fascination with breasts is fleeting and arguably shallow, a relationship cannot be maintained on breasts alone...lol. If it would be this way, then it's probably not a good thing with which to begin!!!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 "I just don't see why a shallow guy can't want a girl with small boobs"...and you want a shallow guy because why ?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): Not all guys are like that. I prefer a full B cup or C at the most, with a round butt...maybe like a size 8 to 10. THat certainly is not model material, but it makes my juices flow like no supermodel. So chin up, and hang out with less superficial people and you might meet up with a great guy. I'd also suggest online dating. My ex is about the dimensions I gave, and she was able to meet a lot of guys online. We dont talk much, but it sounds like she is happy and having lots of fun.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Guys like larger boobs because it's more to grab on to. Basically. And it is feminine, but so are curves, butt, waist, thighs.... Men love all of it. The reason boobs attract more attention is because it's right there within good view, at a nice hight, easily seen, lots of women wear shirts and bra's with cleavages, they basically put it out there! And once it's out there it screams for attention.
Guy's check out your butt too, don't think they don't notice. But they do when you're not looking, naturally, as you have your back turned against them.
In a club, guys that buy you drinks are after only one thing and thats a "wham, bam, thank you mam". They go for the big breasted ones because those are the ones that attract most attention. It's also something to do with whom looks sexier, they don't go for the hottest girls all the time as they are intimidated and think they'll get rejected. So, don't take offense. Oddly enough I found out that I get approached all the time if I wear pants, but if I wear a short skirt guys don't approach me nearly as often. Go figure.
Besides, what a man wants for a one nighter isn't what he wants for a real relationship anyway.
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (29 June 2011):
In my experience clubs like that are something akin to a meat market. It's all about what is easily accessible and visually obvious.
I have to say, though, PLEASE don't judge yourself on the fact that some guys you meet in certain circumstances (such as clubs) are interested in big boobs rather than anything else. It is NOT representative of real life whatsoever. You shouldn't feel unattractive just because these sort of guys don't buy you drinks, etc. It's not a reflection on you. It just reflects the place you are in and the type of guys who are there.
Lastly, if you need some reassurance that nice bums are attractive, how about the ENORMOUS reaction to Pippa Middleton at the recent royal wedding. Here in the UK she almost outshone her sister thanks to her shapely behind and became the most eligible young woman in the country as a result. So, if you are blessed with that sort of figure then you are truly lucky!
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (29 June 2011):
 I have big boobs, and my boyfriend likes them.
But, my boyfriend LOVES small boobs. He loves how the nipple is the centre of attention. His ex had very small boobs, pretty much all nipple because of the meds she was on and he loved them. He loved how sensitive they were, he loved when she squirmed when he touched them.
(I know this because we have a very honest relationship :-P and I asked..)
And my god having big boobs is a nuisance! You cant go braless, its difficult buying clothes and whenever you wear a lowish cut top, people think that you're trying to show off!
Make the most of your small boobs!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011):
Don't feel bad about yourself, honey. Some guys like big boobs. Some like a nice butt. Some like long legs. Some like blonde hair. Some like skinny girls. Whatever. Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Goldie Hawn, Keira Knightley, Clair Danes, Debra Messing... I would be attracted to any woman who looked like these. If certain guys don't like the way you look, well... their loss. Breasts are a small part of appearance and desirability.
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A
male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (29 June 2011):
 I disagree that most guys like or look for "big boobs". When my guy friends and I discuss women, it is rare for anyone to say, "I just want a girl with big boobs". It is only a minority that seem to have that priority.
That is really a juvenile perspective.
I personally do not like overly large breasts, and in particular fake breasts. I dated a girl for four years, and she had self-image issues because she felt her breasts were too small. For some women, the decision to get implants is less about doing something to please guys and more about doing something to make themselves feel better and more confident.
The girl I dated got implants two years into our relationship. And although I supported her decision as one that would make her happier, I personally did not want her to do it. And after she got implants I still felt the same way.
After reading your entire question, I picked up on what may be the underlying issue. You just got out of an "awful" relationship, and I would venture to say you may have some decrease in confidence? Maybe it is not the fact that you are small-breasted that was causing men to not gravitate toward you? Maybe they picked up on a lack of confidence? And please don't be offended by my suggestion, as it is common for someone who is emerging from a bad relationship to have difficulty adjusting to the dating game.
If you are putting off a vibe of wanting attention and not feeling sexy that even you admit, then it may come across much stronger to those around you. The women who are doing their own thing and not even thinking about what guys are wanting probably will have an easier time getting attention.
Physical matters such as breast size, or maybe height (for a man) for example, probably only make up about 5% of the total package when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Confidence, personality, sense of humor, those things FAR outweigh physical matters when it comes to attraction. When you radiate confidence no one is going to pause for even a second because of something like breast size.
In a club it may seem like the handful of meathead guys that slobber all over girls, and probably have "big boobs" as a priority, are the majority just because they are so loud and obnoxious. They are in fact a very small minority. And the good news is that I can guarantee you none of these guys have anything to offer.
And I agree with what others have said about the club scene. Going into a club with any expectations will get you nowhere. You are seeking affirmation in a meat market.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Rule number one, buy a padded push up bra. It makes more of less. Rule number two, there really are men out there that don't care that much for larger boobs. You just have to quit comparing yourself to the big boobed girls and you'll see him. Rule number three; confidence is more sexy than big boobs. Look at all the skinny models with no boobs at all. Very sexy.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 June 2011):
 And just one more thought. The guys in clubs who are buying drinks and hitting on the girls often are hoping for a nice quick sexual encounter; they probably aren't likely to spend money and energy on someone who isn't going to oblige with sexual favors. Maybe you are not giving off a "I'm totally sexually available, to the right guy with the right stuff" vibe?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 June 2011):
Why don't you test your theory by putting on a pair of fake boobs in a bra and see what happens the next time you go out?
But the first thing that came to my mind is, who cares what a bunch of drunken guys in a club think is hot? They're not the be-all and end-all of masculinity and desirable men. Not by a long shot.
I'd say, raise your standards. As RedAthena pointed out, there's nothing wrong with your "bait," you're just fishing in the wrong ponds.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Well, big boobs are just nice. That said, it doesn't mean anything is the matter with you, or you're not attractive, or whatever.
Think of it this way: Some men, for whatever reason, are more attractive than others. Should anyone base his self-esteem on that fact? I don't think so.
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female
reader, a_maldita  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Well honestly I have gifted ones too but I don't like it... I'm getting too much attention and I would prefer not to have those. Even if I just wore not too sexy clothes guys would always look at me even when I'm with my bf. I felt a little embarrassed and not respected. My friends tells me that I was very lucky to have nice boobs.. I laugh and say we could exchange if you want... No you are not less of an attractive person if you have small ones though...Be happy of what you have cause everyone is beautiful the way GOD has created us uniquely...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): I'm the original poster.
I get what you guys are saying, but 1) I don't really care for a relationship now and 2) if shallow guys only want big boobs then it means big boobs are better... because a non-shallow guy will look past my small boobs... it's like a shallow guy can't want small boobs simply because they're small and attractive by themselves... I don't know if I'm making my point clear... I just don't see why a shallow guy can't want a girl with small boobs.
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Big boobs or smaller ones... I really never noticed to be honest and I think the majority of "nice" guys aren't hung up on breast size either.
When I am looking for someone interesting, I look to see if they look approachable and are friendly. If you are sitting around the club, with a dour look on your face, then don't expect to get much attention. Guys have a hard enough time working up the courage to talk to a stranger that getting shot down by someone who doesn't look happy isn't in the playbook. If you look self-confident, approachable, self-assured and can carry on a conversation, you'll attract the guy you desire.
I also agree with RedAthena's advice -- if you are hanging around the night club scene, expect to find the typical man-whores who are only interested in a one-night stand. If you are looking for someone who you can have a future with, keep your standards high and start looking in the right places.
The right guy who will appreciate your body AND your mind will come around when you are confident in yourself.
Good luck!
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Think of yourself as a fisherman. Nothing is wrong with yoru "bait" honey. You are fishing in the wrong ponds!
If you are dating college aged 20 somethings around the University watering hole..then yes, you are going to find more shallow minded boys who want whatever is considered culturally the most "hot". Look at our media! BOOBS seem to be what the media promotes as one of the most desirable features on the planet.
Do not worry about it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): Maybe they are checking you out when you don't notice. Since your best asset is your butt then they are looking at that. Most guys try to be sly about it. I'm a guy and I like smaller breasts - a nice rear is much more attractive to me! No offense, but maybe your bad feelings from your breakup are showing - try to be happier, smile, laugh, and it will shine through.
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