A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well im going to be losing my virginity soon as me and my boyfriend are ready for sex. but im really worried about how itll feel like but most of all what kind of noises to make. i mean, just soft moans or screams? what should i be saying?? what do guys expect??
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male
reader, hdell  +, writes (23 August 2008):
Don't worry about what noises to make as you first start fucking. After you begin really to enjoy it will be time enough to start making noises. They will come natually. When they start to come natually you might then want to plan some really sexy ones, like loud moans, short sentences, and a few screams. See what turns him on.
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 August 2008):
It sounds like you're approaching this event as some kind of a performance that you will execute according to a script. That means you are NOT ready for sex with this guy.
You are also concerned about what he expects of you. Asking the question here indicates you are NOT ready for sex with this guy.
The biggest turn-on for a guy is the sincere expression of pleasure from his partner. The biggest turn-off is a partner who fakes it or only does something because it's what she thinks he wants.
As for what it's like there is a recent thread called "I know it's said that size is not important but . . . " at [http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-know-its-said-that-size-is-not.html] and some old posts like "I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night...", at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-virgin-and-worried-about-my-wedding.html ]. (Scroll the thread to find my post.) Even though it was lousy sex, it was still very significant and meaningful to us! You might also look at what I wrote in the thread "First time - painful?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-time---painful.html ].
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A
female
reader, Sweet as Honey +, writes (5 August 2008):
 ROFLMAO!! @ Caveman!!
...."Ugg"
Hahahahaha!!
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (5 August 2008):
 If you're in the middle of sex and you can think about the noises you might make, then you're not into sex enough and you should ask him to slow down and/or stop. Whatever comes out when you're having a good time is acceptable, as long as it's not name-calling [grin].
Seriously, there are some things you can do with your first time that will help make it a good experience.
Firstly, do only what you're comfortable with. YOUR BODY YOUR RULES. You're worth the wait, and taking it slowly is worth it for you too. If he's not willing to wait for you, he's not the kind of man you want to be with anyway.
Second, make sure you're safe. (Condoms, birth control, etc.)
Now, here's the easy part. ALL of us were beginners at one point, and some guys find that part really sexy. Don't pretend to know more than you know, and be willing to laugh at your own mistakes. (Try not to laugh at his -- that's seriously off-putting. Hopefully he's the kind of guy who can laugh at his own.)
Rule of thumb: if it hurts, make him stop. If he says "ow" then you stop.
As for the important sounds: keep the communication open! The best sex comes where you can tell him EXACTLY what feels good, and he can do the same for you. DON'T expect him to read your mind, and don't let him expect that from you. You can always ask "how does this feel?" He should be asking you this too, unless it's beautifully obvious that you're enjoying yourself.
And make sure there is laughter during the process; that's always a GREAT sound. Relax and play. (Lubrication will help, lol.)
This is a journey. Have fun at all the stops. Don't be in such a rush to get there, and don't let him rush to the finish line either. It'll happen. And you'll learn how to have fun along the way. Good luck hon.
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A
female
reader, Theoneandonlybutterfly +, writes (5 August 2008):
 I say make the noises that comes to u and be safe! Take your time and make it a great day because u only got one chance to do this dont rush and try to enjoy it the best way you can HAVE FUN!!!
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Well guys your age expect: "OH MY GOD YES YOU'RE AMAZING OH YES HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WOW WOW WOW YOU'RE A GOD, YOU'RE A STUD, YOU'RE THE MAN OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!"
But in real life, teenage sex sounds more like: "Umm... is it in? Oh... yeah... ummm... oh, you're on my hair... ok... it's still in?... ... Did you just...? Already? Oh okay... get off, I have to go pee."
Don't worry about the sounds. It's your first time and it'll probably be over before you know it. Just wear a condom.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): yeah, ok thanx for the advice, ill keep it in mind. its just that hes not a virgin so i was a little nervous about it all, great advice though, thank you lots! xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): I say make the sound that feels right to u and just be safe because your first time is the only one you going to get and you want it to be special and great dont rush just take your time and it will come to u HAVE FUN!!!
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (5 August 2008):
 It's vital you be yourself. Don't worry about making noises, as you can sound like you are faking it. Most of what you see in the movies isn't real life in terms of the noises people make.
Be calm and safe and use a condom.
Fiona
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Sorry babes, but the reality of the situation means that the noises you make will probably be "Damn, that hurts, stuff, hey go a bit slower... wow... damn... stuff that.. Yelp"... you've got more things to worry about than sounds. Make sure he arrouses you properly, make sure your out of your mind with lust and passion. USE A CONDOM, and tell him to go gentle and slow. Unfortunately, the first time is not like the movies. The sounds you make come naturally.. Hopefully it might sound like "OH YES, OH YES, THAT FEELS GREAT... MMMMMM". But don't worry about it, you make the sounds you make, there are no rules, anything else sounds stupid and fake.
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (5 August 2008):
 I could give you a very different answer ~ but it wouldn't be very lady like of me.
: )
Listen here:
It's not so much noises people make when they're at it, it's more like pleasureable sounds, like heavy breathing and gentle moaning and groaning and the odd 'ooh' and 'aaah' and 'Oh God' and the 'yes, yes! YES!!'. You get my drift?
You shouldn't have to ask and copy what noises to make, otherwise they would be fake. The sounds you're going to make will be of what your emotionally feeling at the time of your love making and will come naturally.
Have fun!
BigSis
xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Listen to O Connor. Just be yourself and don't worry about what noises you make. Everybody is different. Some women are loud, some are silent. It make no difference. The worst thing that you can do is to fake a sound because it is what you have heard is normal. My wife tells me that men are the same. Some are loud and you have to ask some if they are done.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Don't worry about noises, just make sure you have the birth control and condom ducks in a row.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 there are no rules are guidelines!! not everyone makes noise during sex. when they do, it purely out of pleasure and its not something you control or plan. don't worry about that side of things, just enjoy the moment and let whatever happens happen. guys don't really "expect anything" - they just want to know that they have pleasured you as much as they have been pleasured. is he a virgin too? if you wanna email me i can help you with anything else you wanna know. good luck and please make sure you use a condom!!!
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