A
female
age
26-29,
*hat Female
writes:Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. The thing is, he's got this psycho girlfriend who he had been with for 2 years. She kept contacting him anonymously (putting her phone number in private and call him and just stay there and not say anything)She'd do that at least once a month, but lately, she's been doing it way too much and it's pushing my limit. We live in the US and she lives in another country, so contacting her back it's never so easy because for one, he forgot all her information so it is impossible to contract her and telll her to stop. Also, she's been going into his ps3 account and he can't change the password because he'll have to pay. Any tips on this? I suppose changing the phone number isn't even possible at this point? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
 You do realize that you can change a P3 account password for free right?
http://manuals.playstation.net/document/en/ps3/current/account/forgotpw.html
That alone tells me he’s full of poo and lying to you sweetie…
He can choose not to answer private numbers….
He can get a new phone number on the land line or turn the ringer off and let it go to voice mail. If others in the home answer it they can ask “who is calling and what’s your number we’ll have him return he call. Then you can block it… see simple.
Your follow up is full of lousy excuses that make no sense to adults. At 16 you want this so badly you accept it.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 ...Strange: has he forgotten her last name and town/ city of residence ? That all he'd need for an Internet search. Through Intelius or something.
And , a 20 y.o.guy who does not have a cell phone ?? Bizarre...
Anyway, people can change their landline no. too, you know ? I understand that he lives with other people, but all he's got to do is to tell them: guys, we need to change this number because I am being stalked/harassed , so sorry about the inconvenience.
Or, should we assume this home phone has got no caller ID and no answering machine ? he can add those, so he can let other people answer when it's a private number , or simply screen all the calls and only answer people who say who they are and have a legit reason to call.
Like, most people do .
Really, it does not take the NASA to solve that. Of course , he'd have to spend a few bucks ( not ozzes of money ) and that's what people consent to do if they REALLY want to solve a problem. If the refuse to put even a single cent on it, then they aren't really bothered.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 February 2013):
 hi
Thank you for the follow up.
You mentioned that he had been with this girl for TWO YEARS.
If she had been a one night stand or he had known her for only a month then I would not be posing the following questions.
He was with her for two years? When people like each other enough they want to know everything they can about someone who seems to be the ONE.
So surely in that time some of the following he met her family and friends?
Could it be that there is something he left behind in that country? Like a pregnant girlfriend? Some debts?
Can he recall the city or town where she lived? Did he live in that place too?
Two years he was with her?
Has he suffered amnesia about those TWO years?
How old is he?
Was she the only person he talked to in those TWO years? Surely there is at least one or two other people, places, organizations he had contact with in that time?
If a person has been with someone else for TWO years then I think they would recall a few details that would be sufficient to start piecing together enough details to string together to start finding a person.
That's how debt tracers do it and they start with far less information than a person who's spent TWO YEARS with the person.
She may be psycho in his opinion, but maybe she's frustrated by his behaviour and she wants to confront him about it?
I do NOT excuse her (potential) stalking behaviour. That is unacceptable behaviour.
But a guy whose been with a girl for TWO YEARS and then he surely can recall a few identifying details.
So is he going to say he can't recall ANY of the following:
Her full name
Any nick name
Her age
Where she was born
Where she lived
Where she grew up
Where she went to school
What she wanted to study in the future
Where she was studying
Names of a few of her friends
Any places she regularly attended
Any sport she played and where
Any other regular activity she did in the community
Any group or clubs or organization she belonged to
Her parents and their surname
Where her parents lived
Any other specific information about her parents - their business or work they did.
names of any brothers and sisters
any details on those brothers and sisters.
Any place she worked (even if part time)
Any other specific information that could - by putting together some of the information above - help find her via a Google search to the point where a way to contact her could be indentified - email addresses are not the only way to find a person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2013): Yeah he needs to change his phone number, and even if he has to pay to change his ps3 its probably not that much and isn't it worth doing it to get her off your back? Because she is trying to cause problems for you and if you do this then it will stop her having any control and be two fingers up to her.
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A
female
reader, That Female +, writes (9 February 2013):
That Female is verified as being by the original poster of the question @CindyCares ... You see, he is bothered, he doesn't know what to do because he has forgotten her information and cannot contact her that is why I am worrying about it and really it is getting really annoying. He has a house phone so he would have to answer any phone number calling because the phone is connected to his room and the call might be for someone else so he doesn't leave the phone ringing. He is almost 20, so it is me that's young. @iAmHereToHelpYou ...He just doesn't want to pay money to solve the problem I guess, and I've been trying to get him to remember her email so we can find her on facebook and have a talk with her but the email he remembered isn't it. @Abella ...She lives all the way up in Canada so I don't see how we can do something about that, and we've tried looking her up in facebook but none worked. But I'll try the others, thank you.@blonde30s It's a homephone because cellphones or a bother too him, too much drama and he has to keep answering the phone because his whole house shares the phone and the calls might be for someone else, he can't see it.
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A
female
reader, Dayzee  +, writes (9 February 2013):
If your bf really wanted it her to stop contacting him he could. It can't be that expensive to change his contact details. He may welcome her advances or he might not really care.
If it really bothered me, I would ask him to change his details. If he refused then I would be wondering why he wasn't willing to.
How do you know she's psycho? Is that what he said? Well if that's the case it seems hard to believe that he wouldn't want to cut her off.
I don't think it's a good idea to hassle your bf about this but I would be concerned if he wasn't willing to stop her contacting him if it was continual.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (9 February 2013):
First of all, stop mommying your bf. That's HIS ex calling HIS phone, so that's HIS issue and he should be able to sort it out on his own. I have a hard time believing , that, even at his young age, a guy can be so hapless to not know how to take action , if these calls really bother him. If he is not doing anything about this, maybe the only one who is really bothered is you , not him.
..Not that there would be anything wrong, anyway, if it did bother you. Just to say , next time there's something that is ( reasonably ) bothering you, you tell him, and HE finds a solution . You are his gf, not his life coach.
Anyway- while I agree that nowadays nobody is really impossible to find, and that probably your bf knows her address, or her parent's address etc, so he could just write her to not call him anymore... I would not do it, that would be giving her too much importance and satisfaction, and might even escalate her stalking.
All he's got to do, is keeping ignoring her, she'll get tired sooner or later, does he HAVE to answer calls from
private numbers ?
Or, if he does not want to wait, he can just change phone number !, what's so difficult in that ? And if for changing his ps3 account password he has to pay... then, have him pay, what's the big deal, I am sure it won't be a king's ransom- and anyway if this has got to be a real nuisance and something you just don't want to deal with anymore, it's money well spent.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 February 2013):
Is your Bf telling you he's forgotten her name? The place where she lives? Where she went to school?
Anything personal about her at all?
What was he? Blindfolded during the relationship?
Google her. Look at her Facebook page. She is findable if you ever need to take action against her.
Save up some money asap to deal with the ps3 account which she has hijacked so she no longer has access.
In the interim contact the phone carrier and change your phone number.
Review how 'viewable' you and your Bf are on the Internet. Make changes to ensure googling your details will result in brick walls for anyone seeking your details or your Bf details.
Because sadly this woman sounds obsessed and potentially dangerous.
If your Bf eventually remembers identifiable details of her then download her photo from Facebook and make sure your family and your local police and her local police are made aware of her continual harassment.
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