A
male
age
30-35,
*nshan
writes:Ok here it is exactly 4 months after me and my girlfriend started going she calls me one morning and say i can't do this anymore....we had a great time together....we were born on the same day and same year. she made me feel like we were a dynasty. she was the first one to say i love you. i fell in love with this girl and thought she was the one. she called me and say i can't do it anymore i don't love you. she said her mother forced her to be with me because i was a nice guy and her mother liked me for her. but the thing is she is not the type of girl to force around and after all the fun and good times we had together why would she do this to me? she broke my heart but somehow i can't get over her it has been three days now. she says we can be friends and see if anything happens in the future but i told her no i can't be friends with the woman i love. anyone been in a situation like this before? i need all your help and advise. thank you
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (26 November 2010):
 actually there are only about 500,000 people born on the same day and year. Which only leaves a possible quarter million candidates.
FA
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Also, there are approximately 18,585,087 other people with the same birthday. At least half of them are female, so there are plenty more fish in the sea that you could potentially be meant to be with.
She's got a new boyfriend, and her Mom made her go out with you in the first place. She seems pretty unavailable right now, so I would start moving on. I'm very sorry that she broke your heart!! Good luck, sweet thing!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): She's been honest and told you she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. It hurts, of course it does but you can't change her mind. Being born on the same day doesn't mean you were destined to be together, it just meant you liked her and were looking for reasons why you should be together. You're young and most relationahips and your age come and go.
At the moment, feeling the way you do, being friends with her is not going to be possible. Give yourself some time and space away from her, you don't have to ignore her completely but just back off a bit. Eventually, with time, you might be able to be friends but for now it won't be possible,it will just hurt more. Things are still going to be raw because you've only just broken up but it will get better.
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A
male
reader, Inshan +, writes (10 November 2010):
Inshan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow thanks a lot guys I will never befriend her, i have cut off all contacts and returned everything i have of her which is basically nothing with a letter....time to get over her because i feel if i keep her around i'll just hurt myself even more.....cant wait for this pain and feelings to go away because she is still in my head
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (10 November 2010):
Your problem has nothing to do with you or your birthdays and everything to do with the other woman (her mom).
She is at the age to test her independence, and you are a proof thet her mother is still making her decisions. You are right to keep the relationship distant for two reasons.
First you will be in pain, as you know, if you try to be friends with someone you love. That pain will poison the relationship.
Second, she is proving a point to mom. If you are an every day, or even every week "friend", mom will still believe she has more influence than she should.
As far as what you should do. Other than an unreasonable belief in destiny, you seem to have pretty good instincts. Follow them. Don't date others until this is gone from your emotions.
FA
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (10 November 2010):
 It sounds like she wants to be your friend more than a girlfriend. Which you can work with. Be her friend. Be there for her. (To a certain point) Raises your chances of getting back together.
People, especially couples, who are born on the same day and the same year usually don't work out. (I know you probably don't want to hear that) They are too much alike. But depending, you can still make it work. But it sounds to me like she is uninterested. Find someone new maybe, make her jealous?
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A
female
reader, sugarcandy +, writes (10 November 2010):
If she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, there is nothing you can do but move on..
You will find someone new, don't worry!
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 I do not think the fact that you were born on the same day has much to do with anything, there are 365 days in every year and you are about 18-21, the chances of that happening are not as small as one would think. That being said, I think you should try to be her friend. At least that will give you a chance to see how well you two can work together as a couple. Being her friend raises the odds of her feelings growing towards you as opposed to how it would further fade if you removed yourself from her which would be the only alternative.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (10 November 2010):
 I will tell you a mystery: just because two people are "meant to be" doesn't mean you will be able to stay together for life. That takes serious work, the daily will to stay, and the ability to overcome outside distractions.
You both have many years of self-exploration ahead. It will be difficult, but the best course of action is: to set her free. You may find, months, or years down the line your timing synchronizes again to form something even more beautiful and stable.
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