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51-59,
*astpitchref101
writes:Hi everyone, I hope you can take the time to help! I have a ten year old son, and since he was born he's been the sweetest, smartest, and generous boy I've ever known and wanted. He did his homework every night and I've never had to ask him twice to do anything. But, for the last six months he's changed very much. He wears almost all black, and is into blood and death. He has also shown me numerous thought-out murder plans for people we know. He is scaring me now, and I don't know what's going on. He also tortures the family dogs and threatened to kill his little sister. What can I do to stop him? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): Erm... GET HIM TO A PSYCHARTIST!!! This happened to my friend recently but she actually nearly murdered someone. After psychtratric help, she was a-okay again
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): This is gone far past serious now. Maybe you need to monitor where he's getting this idea. What's he doing when your not looking, do you know?
His behavoir has gone too far, and we all know it needs to stop ASAP.
xoxo, i wish i could help more for you then words of angoy aunts.
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reader, fastpitchref101 +, writes (17 December 2010):
fastpitchref101 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for helping out! I will definitely try out your ideas over time. I have some updates for you, though, that I'm not too thrilled about. I was called into his school today and found him in the councelor's office. They told me he cut another student's wrist with a pair of scissors from home. I hadn't thought he would use them like that before his "phase." Also, I sat him down today after school and asked him why he suddenly changed. He didn't reply at all, no matter how many times I tried to communicate. His only actions were sitting with an angry expression on, and staring down and to the right. I feel that maybe therapy will be an option at this time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Wow, my heart goes out to you. It is really courageous of you to approach this directly! Talk to him. Do not pass judgment. Find common ground. Clearly there is a strong element of frustration in his life that needs an outlet; this is not uncommon to the human condition.
Have you ever confided your own frustrations to him? Why don't you come home from work some day and open up to your son about how you want to "kill" your boss, or whomever. Don't press for info from him, just confide display for him that this is not a situation unique to him. This will hopefully help to create a sense of availability for him to come to you to talk.
Communication is the most important element, and all teenagers have an uncanny ability to project their own circumstances to be the worst the world has ever seen. This of course is all in their own heads, I remember being there personally. If there is someone he can connect with, he will be less likely to retreat into his own head and that is a good thing.
You are an awesome Mom, just talk to him and don't be scared, and if he makes a really dark joke, laugh. You will both be fine
Good Luck
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reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Something is going on and you are right to be concerned. Is there a chance he could be being abused or bullied? There are a handful of red flags here and you have to find a way to reach him. He may not snap timorrow, but he is definitely on a path toward more violent behavior. This is outside of the scope of what we can advise really, you need professional guidance... To know how to help him. He needs professional help to find out how to deal with the anger and aggression he is showing. You are doing the right thing by seeing there is a problem and trying to find a way to help. Ask around... For references. Start with the councelour at school...or your doctor.
Almost all violent adults start out like this... Abusing animals etc, and nobody tried to help them. Kudos to you for loving and caring your son enough to be there for him. Good luck, hugs
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Probably got it from a tv programme. He's a boy they all are terrible at ten years old my brother used to hit me all the time, and then he got into his teens and was extremely nice agian.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Your son needs counselling ASAP. Torturing animals and planning how to murder people is not normal behaviour at all. Has anything happened to him to make his behaviour change so dramaticly? you need to get him help before he does something harmful
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reader, rolfen  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Wow that is weird! I don't think he's gonna turn into a serial killer, besides as long as he's not hiding stuff it's a good sign. But definitely unsettling behavior.
Also remember teenagers go through such phases of rebellion and identity crisis. As a reaction to his perfect boy identity he might have taken this path. Just make sure he knows his boundaries. Animal cruelty and death threats are not acceptable - they're illegal actually - although this Law might not apply to minors.
Good luck.
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reader, marcia99116 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 I would sit him down for a chat. Ask him about why he is doing all this stuff. Why he thinks wearing black is cool. When did blood become interesting for him? Asking these questions will allow you to get his perspective. I have a very open relationship with my 5 year old... funny I know. But I model my parenting after my bigger sister who has a 16 year old.
Obviously something changed to make him switch to being this "new identity." What about talking to his teachers and seeing how he has changed at school. Ask his friends mothers to question their kids on his behavior see if they are still friends and what other mothers kids are saying about his changes.
Maybe all these things collectively will allow you to find out why he has made this adjustments. To me knowing why is the best way to decide how to approach him for a change. Limit the types of video game, TV, and music he is listening to. Lastly talk to a school counselor and his teachers at school to see how they can help and what advice they have with handling this.
Many times kids interest will be sparked by other kids and they will act out in accordance to what everyone thinks is cool, or out of pent up aggression.
Counseling with a holistic approach (that includes the whole family) is generally a good idea as well. There are many places in most areas that offer free or sliding scale services.
Good luck!!!
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reader, camie543 +, writes (17 December 2010):
I'm only 15 and I went through a phase like this for a while I got older and I didnt want to grow up i wanted attention and I was picked on and my friends were changing and i was really lonley and i just felt very depresed wich turned into anger and other emotions I thought about killing people and all thought about killing myself sometimes and i wore all black my mom sent me to a mental doctor and i threatend to kill him i didnt like it at all but then i went to stay in a mental helth center for about 2 months and i got better i met other people i just didnt know how to cope with the things happening i was growing up and seeing so much more negative things and i was loosing the attention of my parents i wanted someone to tell me what i should do but was scared to ask
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reader, jrns96 +, writes (17 December 2010):
Jesus, that's scary. Murder plans? The moody, dark thing is natural enough, but torturing animals and murder plans is NOT good. If you come on too strongly with the whole therapist thing, he will resent you for it. Therapy will have the opposite effect. Talk to him, ask him why he does what he does. If this doesn't help, go for broke...Therapy! I sincerely hope this clears up. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Your his mother. You need to stop his massmurder mind.
He either needs theorpy, or he's going through a phase where he thinks its just so 'cool' and 'everyones doing it'
You have to put your foot down and be forceful about it. Sit down and talk about it with him. Ohhhhh if you didnt want, theres boot camp!
Im a person thats a pain right back, so i dont really know how to help you. You can always ground him too.
xoxo
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reader, pinktopaz +, writes (17 December 2010):
Wow! At first I was thinking that he was going through some "dark" phase, but I kept reading and yes, that's scary! I think he needs to see a therapist stat! But there must have been something that triggered all this. Do you know if he's had any problems at school or anything...such as being bullied/picked on?
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reader, The Realist  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 I reccomend him seeing a counseler asap. This kind of behaviour is what they say leads to serial killing and various kinds of abuse. The clothes may just be a phase but the murder plans and torturing animals is a really bad sign. Keep a close eye on him and get him some help.
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reader, Koolade +, writes (17 December 2010):
 I can tell where you are comming from, and yes this does seem scary. The best ting that you can do is just sit him down and talk to him 1 on 1. If he is uncomfortable have him talk to his father or any other male figure in his life. If this doesn't work the best thing that you can also do is seek proffesional help. Try and look up some phsycologists. It may costs a little but it would be worth it to see your some healthy again. The best of luck to you and your son. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): He's ten years old. He's going through a phase. Hopefully it dissipates by the time he's a teen.
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