A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My guy and I had a little spat in regards to the wandering eye and loyalty to me and the relationship. He says that my constant banter of telling him how upsetting it is to me to see him looking at other women and physically acting like he's not with me when he's actually standing there with me will eventually cause him to actually go and have an affair with these women. He says it's "self fulfilling prophecy" or something like that. He says when he's being told that his behavior of actually showing interest in other women and acting like he's single will actually cause him to stray away from me cause I tell him how hurtful it is to me. He says this is how he'll stray and leave me because I tell him this. I told him that him straying away is his own doing. It has nothing to do with my telling him anything. Nonetheless, he argues that it's the reason why he would do it. He also went on to say that unless I dont' tell him of his actions, and start nurturing the relationship and showing him love, his wandering eye will soon cease and these women will no longer be an interest to him -- even if they do flirt in front of us. Is that true? Granted, I'm not exactly attractive or eye candy and I'm not exactly a scholar but I am a hard worker and am responsible with everything else. Any advice is helpful. I do love this man and he tells me everyday he loves me as well. Thanks again for your help!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Yeah, he's full of shit and knows it.
Sorry, I'm a guy, and I'd never do this to my wife (accuse her of being the reason for cheating).
No, I vote for kicking this one to the curb.
A
female
reader, Princess Aunty  +, writes (31 January 2011):
Actually i was in the same situation as Yours. Am very jealous and i once told my boyfriend i don't like him looking at other girls..he gave me an answer that is more or less same as that of Your bf.
But what i denoted from that is that they demanded Trust.
Yes they want to be trusted by their girlfriends. If he sees a girl that does not really mean he is looking at her..maybe he is looking at her dress and her sense of fashion.
Now i do trust my boyfriend and stop being too possessive towards him and actually he has never cheated on me!
I hope this will be the same case for you!
And i hope my response will help You
Princess Aunty
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (31 January 2011):
 I call bullshit.
Okay, guys will look.. and it's annoying, but there's really nothing you can do. Guys look. That's okay. But, this whole "I'm going to cheat because you made me" story is complete crap. Self-fulfilling prophecy my butt!! I would kick this guy to the curb - he is telling you he's going to cheat and he's telling you that it's not his fault, it's yours. And that, ma'am is bullshit. You deserve much better than this. Don't let this guy walk all over you.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (31 January 2011):
Let me give you a simple warning right now.
Men look at other women, that is a fact. Women look at other men too. However!!!
If your man tells you he will go cheat on you because of your complaining...run!!
He already has it in his mind, and is simply use your complaining as an excuse to do it.
Guess what you are going to do? You are going to stay quiet and let him do it so he doesn't leave you. Guess what that means to a guy like him?? You are ok with it now..and before you know it...
If he is ok with you look at other men...then fine. If not...well.
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A
female
reader, dollface1  +, writes (31 January 2011):
 ok Hello
I have felt like this plenty (if i freaked out everytime we wouldn't still be together and have a happy relationship and i would be slapping every woman he looks at we actually laugh about it), but soon relised all men have wondering eyes, there is nothing you can do about it his a man let him do that. as long as his not cheating on you or touching them, you have nothing to worry about. men are programmed to look at other woman just because his looking at the cow doesn't mean his gonna buy the milk.
don't be insecure start loving yourself. you are a gorgeous woman and once you start telling yourself that those jealous insecurities will go away! his with you not them let him look don't fight with him, he can look but remember he chose you, his with you and you taking him home!!AND IF YOU WEREN'T ATTRACTIVE HE WOULDN'T BE WITH YOU! so start loving him and showing him it doesn't bother you and it will stop.
good luck
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A
female
reader, Logicgirl  +, writes (31 January 2011):
 Hmm... What a complicated or a "twisted" personality he has. Well I would leave a troublesome guy like that but if you're in love with him, that's different. Hm... I say dont do what he tells you to do. So does he show you love, nurture "your" relationship? If he doesn't put him in front of the door. Well all is up to you, this is my idea getting rid of troublesome guys :) Good luck!
P.S: Some people may think that once they get familiar, they can do anything, but too bad for them, they gotta respect EVERYONE and EVERYTHING or thay wont be able to survive. What I'm trying to tell is, he IS disrespecting you! This is the very first and only reason I would put the guy in front of the door. Screw the other relationship rules or whatever, once he disrespects me its over!
Good luck again!
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