A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I AM A FN EMOTIONAL DISASTER! I am still in love with The Only Woman I Have Ever Loved, and while she informed me that she did not feel the same for me I accepted it and have tried with all my strength and know-how to respect and honor her demand that I no longer contact her. I have failed her again tonight, as I just sent her an email advising her that I do not know how to forget her and that I miss her. I am a fn emotional mess. I just took a sleeping pill to calm myself such that I can get a good night's rest, as for the past 3 months I have been enduring insomnia behind my loss of her as well as a confession she made to me with respect to how true ulterior motive in ever so-called befriending me. Ordinarily I am able to tame my longing to contact her, primarily because of the support of a very dear friend. However, my friend is at work and I just couldn't hold back so I acted as explained. Please help me get through this. I just need for it to stop. This is my first time I've ever had to confront an emotion of this kind. Please...tell me...HOW TO I STOP LOVING HER AND COMPLETELY LET HER GO?????????? ~I LOVE YOU DEAR SOUL~
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): As someone of a similar age currently going through a similar thing, I share your pain. However, AuntyEm (and the others) are right. The only way out of this is to focus on healing yourself and putting space between you and the other person. Although many of these "calls to action" suggested by the 'male readers' are a typical man's way to deal with things, it's still the best thing you can do.I know it feels like the hardest thing in the world to do right now, but you have to let it (and her) go. The more you look for reasons and answers, the more you're likely to get hurt. She may end up saying even more hurtful things just to push you away and stop you contacting her, and that's going to make you feel even worse.Although it's killing me that my ex gave no truly credible reasons for dumping me (and she did it by text!), and part of me wants to drive over there and ask "why? why? why?!", I'd also rather not know the truth... it's best to just walk away.But you WILL get through this. It's true what they say, time heals all wounds. Good luck!
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 You have my sympathy...heartbreak is a bitch!! people have died because of it, but thankfully most of us deal with it and find ways to move foward!
I agree with the other aunts (or uncles...seeing as they are all guys) you need to physically force yourself out of the pit of despair. Exercise is a magnificent aid for combatting stress, it will help you release endorphines (feel good hormones), it will help you sleep, give you something constructive to occupy your mind and make you fitter and healthier.
We all, at one time or another, will think we have found the perfect person for us, we convince ourselves to the point of obsession that this person absolutely is the only one...but if that were true, then how come so many of those attractions end up in the toilet?...hard to accept and digest but totally true.
You need to turn off the switch and focus completely on yourself. Try not to rush into another relationship whilst your grieving for this one, because you will end up hurting some other woman who, quite frankly doesn't deserve the pain.
Buff up, exercise, eat well, take control of who you want to be. If your still finding yourself under stress then see your doctor or have some talk- related counselling. All this will help but the ultimate goal is to gain control again and steer your life to a new and better direction.
I have been in stasis for seven months over someone I thought I loved. I had to rip myself away and it was an extremely horrible and upsetting experience, I thought it was going to kill me but I eventually realised I had to move on, so I got a grip, exercised, reconnected with old friends and made some fun plans. I also threw myself into work and organising my home. I needed a low grade anti depressant to help me and just gradually pushed myself through...and now I feel whole again (and I am also in great shape). I have refused all offers of dates up to now as I feel I am still recovering but I know I am almost there.
My heart goes out to you, take the advice given here with love because you need to know your not alone and it's not impossible to move on to better things.
Good luck
AE xxx
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A
male
reader, Barrybaggs +, writes (29 October 2010):
Total cold turkey treatment needed here I'm afraid, mate. You are never going to get over her unless you make a clean break as she has. Even if you do have all these feelings, you know sharing with her is futile, so it's time to stop.
The first poster was right. Time to turn all the energy into positivity. If you can't help yourself, help others. Community work, a new job, a new hobby, travel.....anything. It's time to rise, phoenix-like, from the ashes.
Trust me, I've Been here before and all you do is move on and be strong. You probably can't see it, but that day where it doesn't hurt will come. As one door closes another opens.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Turn this all into a positive. You can do that by realising that you have met someone so wonderful in your life and felt something that only few of us will ever feel in a lifetime. Its already taken you half your life to experience it and now you can move on.
To turn something like this into a positive you can do things for yourself to make yourself a better man. And if you look at it this way, meeting her has or may have inspired you to do so, which I believe it can, because I have experienced a very similar circumstance myself once. And that's how I let her go.
To make your self a better man, you can start excersizing, travel the world, write a journal on these feelings, you can imagine the house you would have lived in with her and possibly even build it someday, although she won't be living in it with you. So turn this into a positive and become a better man a d person. And if your lucky she will notice and possibly, I'm not saying that she will, but even someday contact you herself.
It will not be easy but in time things will become better. You've got to learn to truly love yourself and your life and if you think about it she has given you the chance to do that.
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A
female
reader, syrop  +, writes (29 October 2010):
i think you should get used to another girl. the fact that you were too attached with her make you feel very lonely now that she has left you. why don't you make friend with a new girl and pass your time mostly with her? this will help you to get rid of the thoughts of that other woman but make sure you don't fall in love with the second girl because if she left you just like the first you may be more disastrous then now if you think she would be trust worthy the go ahead. best of luck
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (29 October 2010):
dont feel very bad
allot of us have been dumped even more than one time
in our life times,
thus we have found love again and lived out lifes happily,
to forget her try to take a leave ,travel abroad make your self busy with work, friends and activities
and you well completely get rid of her love when you fall in love with someone else again
because love cures love..
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 First of all, stop thinking about her and keep away from her. Eventually, what immense love you feel will die as easily as the winter snow in spring. Feel what you must but whenever you think of her, remember to distract yourself and think of all else, think of thanking your dear friend, think of improving the quality of your life. Eventually, those emotions will fade away.
I hope that helps.
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