A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is the love of my life, an utterly lovely man, but also a very naughty, horny man. He likes his porno films and has tons. I've never minded this as I do like it to, but recently he's started adding the pornstar girls on his facebook.. By the handfull. I've lost count on how many he has added.. And I think that this is taking it far too far, and i've expressed my opinion about this to him, but he doesn't want to delete them. He said he'd delete a few but that would only be 10% of the hole lot of them.. And I feel really embarrassed by it, ashamed, and inferior in a way. But should I be feeling like this? I don't like it. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Watching porn is ok. Adding porn stars to his Facebook is.... NOT OK. Facebook is a social networking website. When he watches porn he is not social networking. There is no reason pornstars should ever get mixed in with his "social networking."
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 You need to talk to him and explain how you feel. This porn stars are not his friends and there is no need to have them on facebook. It is making you feel inferior and uncomfortable.
If he loves you back then there should be no problem in getting rid of these porn stars...
Since you already talked to them and he agreed to 10% you need to talk to him once again.
If he refuses then I would reconsider your relationship with him. Also it would be a good idea to try to get him into some counseling because it sounds like he might be addicted to porn.
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): Im not sure about feeling embarrassed but I do understand feeling inferior. I personally would not tell anyone about his face book. The bigger question that comes to mind is addiction. I mean there is no sense of reality here .. odds are he and a porn star are never going to hook up.
i would probably feel the same as you do. aside from asking him to stop, maybe talk with him and ask him why?
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A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (7 October 2009):
I think that if he wants to show his respect for your feelings he should remove these women from his facebook page. It is disrespectful to your feelings if he doesn't remove them.
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A
male
reader, Confuzzled012 +, writes (7 October 2009):
 This is not ok. I don't watch porn myself, but I know that a huge part of why porn is ok to most people is because it's a fantasy, not a reality. Men whill never meet those porn stars and they are therefor untouchable and don't bother women. What he is doing is crossing that line into reality and he needs to put a stop to it. If he is as lovey you say he is, he will repsect you and your feelings. He will understand that it makes you uncomfortable and insecure, and he will do what he needs to do to fix that.
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