A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had been kinda hanging out with this guy for a month. I got to meet him through a very good friend of mine who told me that he was a really great guy. In that month (August)everything just seemed perfect we would take walks together,watch movies together, jog, talk and laugh (we hangout almost everyday). When I was not around he would call and ask me to drop in and just hang out which was cool (I really felt we clicked). But unfortunately he had to leave for another country to pursue his to studies which was cool with me cause he promised me that he would come back and visit. Somehow the day he left he told me that he was just going to visit his friend in another town and he would return after a couple of days. This was the last time I saw and spoke to him. (we are both foreign students in Europe). When I found out I was so upset and had many mixed emotions . A week after he left he got in touch and we spoke briefly, he told me that he had left without saying goodbye cause he knew I was going to cry and he would just feel sad. The second time we spoke was through Instant Messenger. Things seemed normal during this conversation, he was his usual joking self but then out of nowhere he cut the conversation. I had said that he was crazy but in a joking manner (In his culture I later found out its disrespectful to call someone crazy). I apologized but somehow he didn’t want to continue with the conversation and he just said goodbye. I was upset and I immediately went offline. I later apologized offline a day later, he didn’t respond. Since then our communication has been rocky. When I try to chat with him he responds with one word phrases and this obviously irritates me because I would like to know how he is…that’s all. Because of his cold shoulder I asked him what his sentiments for me were, he refused to say anything about it. One day he talks to me, the next he ignores me, he acts like he cant see me, the next he cuts me off in the middle of a conversation. Because of this I no longer know if I should ignore him also or if I should greet him. His actions are living me confused and with more questions than answers. I last spoke to him a week ago and he said I was too exigent because I asked him casually when he thought he would be coming back to see visit me. The next day he saw me online and he just went offline without saying a word. The following day I saw him online and I said hie but he just ignored me and he went offline, somehow I thought enough is enough and deleted him from my messenger list because I needed time to figure out what was going on. I do understand that the one month (August) that we spent together was too short to probarbly expect a commitment (and I have not pressured him to make a commitment, I havent spoken about marriage or anything of that nature with him), but he did asked me to wait for me in our first telephone conversation when he left. I also felt like him and I had made a connection, so I am surprised he is acting this way. I had hoped that him and I could continue having a tight connection like how it was before he left). In this week that I have been quiet he has not bothered to get in touch with me and I have pretty much been keeping a low profile. Now the question is should I just let him be and move on without further contacting him or should I let him know (through an e-mail) that I miss him as a good buddy that gave me some great memories and that I don’t expect him to drop everything and be a part of my life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice ginalola. i am still a bit undecided on contacting yet, still thinking about it.
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