A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid I'm young girl whose feels like I'm not a true friend to my friend. First of all i don't want to be judged cause I'm only human. I've been cheating with my friend's boyfriend and no i don't have a boyfriend. The thing is this guy wants us to start dating but i can't it'll really hurt my friend and i'm only in it for pleasure and attention he gives me. So what should i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DemonDamien  +, writes (23 January 2011):
I agree with the anonymous male reader. If he was cheating on his girlfriend with you. How could you ever trust him to be faithful to only you? Logic suggests to me, that the best course of action would be to break it off with him and tell your friend - or you are really not her friend at all. But, alas, easier said then done, I get that. We're all human, we make mistakes; it's what you choose to do about it that defines you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Relationships that start with dishonesty usually end with dishonesty, if you continue with him and it turns into something serious ..how could you ever trust him? A relationship with no trust is nothing..Unfortunately for you I believe that you are about to learn a "life lesson" the hard way, But I suppose its better that you learn it while you are young and not married with children because then it would be a real mess..I think that your best bet at this point would be to cut your losses with both your friend and her boyfriend and find someone that you and grow to love and trust.. If you continue..everyone will get hurt..including you..
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (21 January 2011):
 *when* did you decide you didn't want to hurt your friend???
if you want to keep your friend but you don't really want him, let him go. you will get pleasure and attention from other guys no problem. if you carry on doing this with him, there is a very good chance that your friend will end up finding out and what are you gonna say to her when that happens? 'oh sorry mate, i didn't even like him much but i just wanted pleasure and attention so i thought i'd just use your boyfriend, seemed easier than going getting a guy of my own, i hope me and you can still be friends?'
if he wants a relationship with you, he obviously doesn't really want one with her so i would be worried if i were you that he might tell her, he's got less to lose than you have, hasn't he?
all you can do now is damage limitation. i mean stop it with him now so it doesn't look AS BAD when the truth comes out. don't worry, if you are happy to have sex with someone that you are not even in a relationship with, you'll never be short of attention from men, believe me. good friends however are very much harder to find.
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A
male
reader, Sherry123  +, writes (20 January 2011):
Don't lose your friend over this. Ignore him, doesn't sound like he'll be around long and if possible don't tell your friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): I have been in the situation of your "friend" and I eventually found out. When I did, it hurt more than anything has ever hurt in my life. I felt betrayed and used and like there must be something wrong with me if he wanted to have sex with my friend over me. Worse, I found out that he had been arranging his...get-togethers.. while I was in the room with him. He even mentioned it to her. And she, like you, was only in it for the attention and pleasure. It hurts. I would break it off with him immediately and tell your friend. Don't wait until she finds out or she will never forgive you. She might not forgive you as is, but at least that way you would come clean. I feel for your friend. You I could care less about.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): First off, I want to commend you for coming forth and saying that you are sleeping around behind your gf's back. Second off, this guy you're sleeping with is not worthy of a relationship - not with your gf and definitely not with you. Third, why, why, why are you doing this? If it's just for pleasure and attention, then you need to re-think everything you've done...you most likely have low self esteem. To find pleasure
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): First deal with your OWN lack of integrity and loyalty issues about friendship.
You don't want to be judged, no of course you don't, but you will be, as it's called life!
What makes this worse, is that you have no real feeling for this boyfriend of hers, it's just 'attention and sex'....It's too late to say you don't want to hurt her. You've already done that, so now perhaps it might be time to end this connection with this boy totally, and before anyone else tells her, including the boy, if he doesn't get what he wants, YOU tell her.
Face the consequences of your actions, and if you can't, then accept life may just make you!
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (20 January 2011):
What should you do?
Own up to what an awful "so called friend" you have been... how selfish of you to sleep with your friends boyfriend and not only that you did it just for your own pleasure.
I suggest you go find yourself a boyfriend of your own... and admit to this girlfriend what you have done.
You should be ashamed of yourself.... and as for being human, I am human, and never ever have I behaved in such an unacceptable manner. Shame on you!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, viccra78 +, writes (20 January 2011):
Wow, starting awful young. Hope you grow a conscience soon.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 January 2011):
 What should you do?
Deal with the consequences of your actions. I can tell you what you should have done differently, but that doesn't change anything now. Just wait till you get the reputation of a boyfriend stealing sl**. It will happen because the truth always comes out eventually.
You don't even show any remorse for this. You're a very pathetic excuse for a friend. Even worse than her boyfriend if you ask me.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Does it really matter if you date him? You're already sleeping with him behind your friend's back! Dating him would be the icing on the cake.
Is there no available guys where you live, causing you to date your friend's boyfriend? As her friend, you should already know her boyfriend is OFF LIMITS.
I suggest you end this sleeping around with your friend's boyfriend and hope that she doesn't find out.
For future reference, I suggest dating single men and staying away from your friend's boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Ask yourself who is more important the man or your friend? I have a feeling its your friend cause there's plenty of men out there that will give you attention. Stop seeing the guy. Start being the friend she deserves.
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A
female
reader, amylee2  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 seriously?? ur friends boyfriend? put youself in her position.. wud u like it? my advice is to come clean to your friend wat u have been doin and ask her forgiveness,, if she wants you out. well go out. an end all ties with her boyfriend to.. an dont even think you cud get in a relationship with him, cus the same thing he did with your friend, same thing he'd do to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): You're right you're not a true friend. At all. If you were you wouldn't do this to her.
You're "only human?" What's that supposed to mean? If you want sex, go and find single guy, not your friends boyfriend.
You're scared of dating this guy because you don't want to hurt her? How hurt do you think she's going to feel when she finds out her friend is sleeping with her boyfriend?
You obviously have no morals, and i pity this friend of yours because she's the one who's going to end up heart broken because you wanted some attention.
She deserves to know what you've been doing. It just amazes me how you would have no problem with carrying on having sex with him just not dating him because all you want is sex anyway.
Maybe, that's MAYBE, i would have a tiny bit of sympathy for you if you were madly in love with the guy, but you're not. If all you want is sex, why did you choose your friends boyfriend?
Shame on you. Tell your poor friend what a horrible friend and boyfriend she has and leave her alone to get on with her life.
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