A
female
age
30-35,
*ixiedarling16
writes:So i have a pretty minior problem. First off i am 15, (turning 16 in may) and the guy i am talking too is 18 (turning 19 in may also) we have kissed once or twice, and we talk constantly. he wants to take me out on a date, and seems pretty honest about the fact that he likes me. There is a few problems though. He thinks i am 16, because i met him at a town event and my friend said i was 16 just for fun (i look like i'm 19 anyway, so he was still suprised) and i went along with it cause i figured it would not go anyware and there was no reason to tell him my friend lied. BUT now it is going somewhere, and although i am only pretending to be 6 months older then i acually am, he has come right out and told me if i was 15 he wouldn't be talking to me (because it would be illegal in FL). I know i need to tell him, it's only fair, and he has every right to know what he would be getting into, but i don't really want to lose him. It has been suggested to me to just wait until i'm 16 then tell him if we're still together... any tips? please i really like him... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SouthernBelle +, writes (12 March 2008):
 I answered this question before not logged in so I am not sure my answer will get posted or not so here I go again. I am 17 and at first I told my current boyfriend I was 18. I don't have the legality issue, I pretty much told him I was 18 because he is 20 and I figured hey, he won't want to date a 17 year old. I started thinking it over when our relationship started to grow and progress. I was thinking about what would happen when he showed up for my 18th birthday party thinking I was turning 19 and I have to stand there looking a fool and explain to him in front of everyone that I lied about something as pathetic as my age. On top of that my boyfriend had asked me to come to a local club with him to have a good time and watch the race with some of his friends, so on top of the first lie I told I had to lie again to cover up why I really couldn't go. In the end I told him the truth and that I was really 17 and he just laughed at me. IN your case your boyfriend may not be too happy about it since since you are fifteen it would be illegal for him to date you, but I would go ahead and tell him. He may shrug it off or he may get upset and leave you but either way its better to go ahead and let him know your real age before your relationship does start to develop into something more and he still doesn't know your real age. It may be hard to tell him and you are going to get extremely nervous about it, especially his reaction but go ahead and tell him the truth. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): When I first started dating my current boyfriend I told him I was 18 when I was really 17. He is 20 and its perfectly legal in NC where I am for a 20 year old to date a 17 year old but I still chose to lie and tell him I was 18. At the time I didn't think it was going to go anywhere with us, but as our relationsip progressed and feelings grew I started thinking. When I really turn 18 he is going to think I am turning 19 and that will cause problems, especially when he comes to my party saying happy 19th and everybody looks at him all stupid and I have to confess in front of everyone I lied and make myself look like a fool. He had also asked me to go to a local club with him, only problem is I couldn't yet get in so had to tell yet another lie on top of the first lie on why I couldn't go. The best thing to do is just come out with the truth before your relationship goes further and you guys start to feel even more strongly for each other, because the longer you wait the more it will hurt in the end when you finally tell him. Just tell him straight up that you are only 15 and you really liked him so you lied about your age to impress him. He may stick around and he may not, but you have a better chance of him sticking around if you tell him sooner rather than later. Best wishes.
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female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (12 March 2008):
You admitted in Florida it is ILLEGAL - So lets see you want to take the risk and not tell him? You have parents? If so, then I would say it would be wise to tell him the truth and let him decide - You think he wont want sex if he is 18 almost 19 and you are not 'legal' till May? LOL
That's unfair to him - Date guys your own age for now - if this guy cares at all he will wait - my guess is you will both have forgotten each other in two months! Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Oh god I have this problem. An older guy keeps asking me out, and I want to but he thinks I'm 18 when I'm 17! It's legal, but he is quite a bit older. I don't know if he'll still be interested if not because of my age, because I didn't tell him before. Arrrrgh!
I guess if you tell him when you're 16, he will be pretty angry that you didn't tell him before.
I guess you could tell him about a week before you turn 16, keep him at arms' length til then, then he won't have to wait long until you are actually 16. So maybe he won't mind too much... To be honest if it were me in his situation, I would probably understand, but I'm not him, so... good luck, that's all I can say! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): im sure this guy will get over you being 2 months younger than you say you are. if he really likes you then age doesnt matter! a friend of mine is 16 and shes going out with a 24 year old. i dont personally agree but their engaged now and their very happy together. so i say go for it! if you dont, you wont be able to celebrate your "big 16h" properly and invite him, because your already 16 to him! good luck, hope everything works out ok =)
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female
reader, Cosy  +, writes (11 March 2008):
you have to be honest because its sort of now or never.. hopefully he will change his view or maybe you two can be together again when you are older... good luck! XX
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Be honest with him - that is the only way that you will not lose him. If he finds out that you lied, well, you'd lose him.
Tell him what you told us: that your friend was messing around when she told him that you were 16, you just went along with it for a laugh because you didn't think anything would happen
: you now have strong feelings for him and even though you're 15 you feel that he should know the truth...but you really don't want to lose him.
Just tell him the truth. I don't know how he will react - but it is the best thing to do.
Good luck hunny! x x x
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Whenever you tell him it is going to be really complicated because you have to admit that you lied. I totally agree that he has a right to know and that you should tell him...I can see the argument for waiting till you turn 16 but you have to bear in mind the fact that it is going to be really hard to hide on your birthday and to be honest I think that it is better he hears it from you rather than discovers it himself...just talk from the heart, apologise and hopefully he will decide to wait what is a relatively short amount of time. Good luck.
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female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Well, first of all, you admitted it is illegal in Florida. If he cares at all about you, he'll wait six months-he's older and hopefully more mature. Do the right thing and be honest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): You need to come clean and tell him. Relationship are based on honesty and trust and if you dont have that from day one then you are competely lost. Tell him, before someone does, if you are really in his head and heart he wont be going anywhere and he will wait for you no matter what. If he runs then he wasnt worth it.
take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): At this point in the relationship, I wouldn't say anything. Just avoid any forms of sex (oral to) until after you've reached 16.
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female
reader, Variety +, writes (11 March 2008):
 You need to be honest with him. If this is going anywhere then he will need to know your true age (how else would he celebrate your birthday with you!?)
If he has a problem then it is his loss. If not then you may just have to hold back from getting too involved until you are 16.
Hope this helps. Message me if you want to talk. x
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female
reader, Gemini1506 +, writes (11 March 2008):
i say tell him
if i really likes you he can get past it
and as long as your sensible theres no problem
Just explain why you/your friend said you was older
best of luck
xx
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female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 hey listen since u guys kissed n everything it clearly shows that he has feelings 4 u n cares 4 u will this lead to love or whatver it is just 2 early 2 tellwell age is just a number hun it doesnt matter to most as long as u don behave imature..well u should tell him that u r 15 if he really cares he would forgive u just tell him about the whole incident,n if he asks u y u din tell him earlier tell him that u were scared of losing him n my be after this he will like u even more..so go ahead best of luck n tell me how it goes
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