A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am happily married. I'm 17 years old and my husband is 20. We're very in love and supported by both of our families. Things have been great. I love it. We do everything together including cooking meals, and just sitting back watching TV. The situation lately is different. He wants to be able to go have a guys night out and I would be okay with it but I just dont trust his friends. Theyre all single and just roaming around for girls. I dont feel like they are good for him. Idk if Im wrong about lettin him go out.. I dont want him to be frustrated.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (3 April 2010):
You're not his mother, he is an adult and should be able to do what he wants. Trying to control him, will come back to haunt you.
I think you're too young to be married, I just don't buy into being in "love" at 17.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): WOW Married at 17. Sorry but that is so young! Anyway you have to be supportive of everything he wants to do. How would you feel if he stopped you going out with your friends? Not good! Just trust that no matter what happens when he's out, he's coming home to you!
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 You can't keep a man, a dog, a bird or a child locked up in the house and expect them to be happy. They need space to spread their wings. If they love you, they'll come home and will be happy. Keep them trapped inside and they will hate you and your prison and begin to feel frustrated.
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female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (3 April 2010):
 Of couse he wants to go out! He's 20! Him being faithful to you has nothing to do with his friends but this is a slippery slope for him to be on. He is way to young to be married anyway.
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female
reader, athenas +, writes (2 April 2010):
its all depending in the what type of night out is he talking about, if its about going out clubbing with the guys in my opinion i would not let him go just for the fact that you guys r married now he needs to have some sort of respect what is he gonna do in the club??? obviously hes gonna dance, with who though if hes wife is at home? you know what i mean, now i totally agree if he wants to hang out with his friends go to the park or maybe at a friends house and have a couple of beers that is understandable you both will need to have your alone time with your friends but theyre are limits in that... let him spend time with his friends but ask him where hes gonna go and if there is something that bothers you let him know. thats what i do im married as well im 21 n y bf 22 we do everything together but we both know we need our own time as well he goes out to his friends house but we both know that going clubbing is a whole different story. .. well hope you both can talk about this and wish you two the best of luck :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): Accept that he is free to go out with his friends. Discuss any specific concerns and communicate about the boundaries of your relationship. Be specific. After you discuss this and feel that you have agreement, you will feel better about him being out.
For example: I don't mind if my husband goes out drinking or over to a friend's house. I am comfortable with him spending time with his ex girlfriend as long as its with other people and not too intimate (e.g. a late night movie alone on the couch). I am not ok with strippers any time or anywhere. He shouldn't be flirty or touchy feely.
Now that he knows how I feel I have nothing to worry about. He is either trustworthy or he's not. The rest is up to him. If he violates your trust you then have to power to remove him from your life. That's all that you can do.
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 He needs to have your trust so he can go out with his friends. You're both young and should be able to not hold back at life so go out and have fun separately. The marriage should just strengthen with this freedom. Having alot of single friends is just a consequence of being married young but in the end they are still friends and shouldn`t just be forgoten about. The way you say how happy you two are together just makes me think that there is no reason to not trust him even if his friends are picking up girls. The easiest thing for him to do is flash the wedding band and they know.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
You need to let him go out. If you don't, he will resent being controlled, and that's where the real problems will begin. He loves you, and you have no reason to distrust him, so let him go.
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