A
male
age
41-50,
*ronze
writes:I recently ended my relationship with my now ex of 2 years due to the ridiculous amount of problems that we faced.She was extremely demanding and always threatened to end our relationship if she didn't get her way. She would endlessly complain about not getting enough sex, and when we were intimate, would complain about the amount of foreplay she needed to get aroused. She didn't like my friends, would go searching through my computer and my apartment for whatever, and had the nerve to call me "spoiled" because when my family helps me when I need it - something she never had.The final straw was when I found out from her mother that she had cheated on me. The kicker was she caught chlamydia from this guy and had to get treatment. When confronted, she confessed, crying a river, and begged me to fogive her, which I reluctantly did. However, after a few weeks, the crap started again, so I did the weirdest thing: I stopped all contact with her.I wouldn't return any of her calls, emails, text messages, nothing. She would call my family, I would tell her nothing. She left voice mail after voice mail begging me to tell her what was wrong. I've just had it with her, and I got sick of explaining myself to her.It's been three months now since then, and the calls still come about once or twice a week now. Should I answer the phone and tell her why I want nothing to do with her anymore? Should I respond to her and acknowledge her requests, even if it's a F-you, which she says she'd be fine with?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): Hi,it may be a little late for my answer but i will still give it to you..i am actualy the same as your girl and my guy broke with me beeing tired of my attitude but let me tell you something i did love him a lot..
yes i did love him a lot and i was trying to change him and for that i use to nag and scream and shoult thinking that he will change forgetting that i fall inlove with him the way it was..so not like me..
if you love her and you belive that you can work out the issues do it..it much easier to work it out that to find somebody..but please talk with her..she loves you a lot and you are just hurting her..i think she understood her mistakes..
A
male
reader, Bronze +, writes (10 October 2007):
Bronze is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice everyone. I got to talking with her on the phone. We were both very calm and discussed our problems. Apparently, she has moved on and found someone else. We exchanged apologies for everything, and I think we're going to try to just be friends.
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A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (10 October 2007):
 Well, it's been 3 months, I think she should get the point by now. Personally, I don't think you "owe" her an explaination considering the damage she's caused, however, if you want her to stop calling so you can both move on with your lives, then I would suggest ansering ONCE and simply tell her that she has destroyed the relationship beyond repair and to please stop calling you. If she continues to call, you can always file harrassment charges. Best wishes!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 I agree with the other poster. Write a letter.
Make it calm and reasonable. You want to end the relationship, you cannot trust her , and you think she is a controlling person. You cannot see yourself building a future with a person who you cannot trust.
But write the letter, its a good way to get things off your chest and she at least deserves a reason why you are not going to see her again. The calls will continue until you do or you will eventually bump into her and it will be even more embarrassing.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, sweetlilpeachx69 +, writes (10 October 2007):
tell her then change your number she sounds obssesed
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A
female
reader, Sassister +, writes (10 October 2007):
After three months, let it alone. You probably should have told her right from the beginning though. It would have given her closure. Now she might take it as you having interest again.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (10 October 2007):
You owe her the curtsy of telling her she has been dumped and that you hope she'll treat her next bf better.
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A
male
reader, Ozsong +, writes (10 October 2007):
 Mate, you have to tell her why, Im on the opposite end of the deal, Im just dealing with my demanding behaviour, its not intentional, but a true problem. She didnt do it purposely, she obviously loves you. Maybe you could try telling her and explaining how it made you feel and then get her to post a question here.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Yes. You should always take the bull by the horns. Whatever her failures, you owe it to her: give her solid ground to stand on. Tell her why you don't want anything with her. Then, tell her not to contact you, and DON'T ever contact her.
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