A
male
age
30-35,
*omeonestilemyscreenname
writes:Sex before marrige? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): If you love them and truly want to spend the rest of your life with them anyways, then nothing should get in the way of your intimacy, as long as protection is used. But if its just some new girlfriend or boyfriend that you just picked up and find attractive, then whats the point in degrading yourself and letting yourself down, by sleeping around?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Most people don't think virginity is important anymore because they only see it as it relates to themselves.
They don't think about all the problems and pain it causes for the rest of your married lives when your spouse has been with others. Maybe you care and maybe you don't, but you can't just decide that your future spouse won't care.
And neither can he/she. You spouse cannot just decide to get rid of his/her own hurt feelings about your past just because it has become a problem.
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A
female
reader, vsnod +, writes (2 April 2008):
 I think sex if okay before marriage if you are committed to the person. Don't have sex just because you want to know what it's like, or because you think everyone else is doing it. (trust me, they are not all doing it) 16 or 17 seems young to me, so if you do it, please be responsible and use protection. A good piece of advice that someone gave me is: "If you can't have an open conversation about sex with the other person,(really open, like about accidental pregnancy, using protection, STDs) you are not ready to have sex."
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 April 2008):
 True love before either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): Although staying 'pure' for marriage is a nice idea for those who want to, I find it worrying that people go into a marriage when they dont know what to expect or what they want from sex. I feel that to a degree a disatifying sex life within a marriage could be a major factor towards breakdown, along with lack of communication. So sex before marriage - each to their own.
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A
male
reader, agtorange +, writes (2 April 2008):
 If you're Christian and stand by your beliefs after marriage.
Personally I'm not Christian, I lost mine at 17, don't regret it. In my opinion it's better to go before marriage.
I don't buy into that whole "virginity is a gift" junk, you don't feel like a new person or anything after it's all said and done, frankly sex isn't all it's cracked up to be. If you wait for years to have that magical moment, when it comes you might find yourself being let down.
Atleast that's how I see it.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 April 2008):
 Try to remember that the whole primal urge and sex itself creates a Baby. In those terms, Would you want to sleep with and create a child with the woman you desire? Or would you refrain? I'd like to think that if everyone thought in terms of "Would I like this to be the Father/Mother of my offspring" would be a sobering thought that produced a lot more restraint and reflection, as it should. An orgasm lasts about 3 to 5 seconds. The decision to procreate and raise a child lasts a lifetime.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 April 2008):
 Commitment before sex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): That's up to you . We all could give you the you should wait til your married speech and you still go out and do it anyway! You should wait tho .... You could the girl pregnant and other bad stuff could happened too. If you really must use protection but I urge you not to do it at all. It COULD be the biggest regret you have OR it might not be .... but none of us can tell you that. I'm 15 and had sex before marriage ( well not yet actually but I might soon..) but that's me .... YOU decide for yourself!
But make sure you LOVE this person and are pretected and if somthing is to go wrong and her belly gets big you better stay with her !Think of that for a while then make your choice . I don't care how much pretection you have things can and MIGHT still go worng .... So yea....
It's your life tho.... but don't let sex ruin it !
I hope this answers your question
*~VG~*
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 April 2008):
 For a seventeen year old, no marriage, and no sex would be better.
For a person who is mature enough to know what he or she is getting into by marrying, no sex before marriage, either. You two need to be well dressed and early at the ceremony, don't you?
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