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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Guys, in complete an utter honesty. If you were seeing an 18 year old girl and she told you she's got with (kissed) about 13 guys, none of whom she was in a relationship with. What would your opinion on her be? And would you want her to tell you that?Because my friend said not to say, cause she appears as a get around so he may be put off her and think she's easy, so his opinion would change.But then my sister said that it's not that bad cause it's just kissing and that when your young it's just having fun. Plus he might want to know how many other guys lips have been on yours before his.So what's you opinion on that, would you want to know and what would you think of the girl afterwards?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 Some will think nothing off it, others will call you a slut. It is a matter of personal opinion and you can't change that.
Should you lie about it? You only need to lie about it to people who think you are a slut so by lying you will only become a lying slut in their eyes.
If someone can't accept your choices, your life as it is, then maybe you shouldn't be with them in the first place.
Generally I never advise to lie especially a lie that has to be maintained for a long time. After all, if you lie to a guy and he ends up being the one you will have to keep on lying the rest of your life. Not just lie but to pretend to be someone you are not.
You are you, bad or good doesn't matter, the rest of the world can either take you or leave you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 13 kisses at 18 ? Not so terrible :) In Italy there's a very old popular saying :"Kisses don't leave holes "...meaning you can kiss all you want..as long as you keep your legs closed. If this was good for rural Italians in the 19th century, -I don't think that modern contemporary society would be more conservative and judgemental than them.
I'd be perhaps a bit concerned for the girl, due that there were 13 different boys but no relationship ever. I maybe would wonder if she is too eager to please , if she has self esteem problems so she kisses boys not because she wants to, but because THEY want to. Or if she feels bad about herself and needs male attention to feel better.
But then again, like your sister says, maybe she is just being a regular teenager and having fun.
She would not be obliged anyway to volunteer the blow-by-blow account of all her kisses. She can answer, of course, if asked, but she can also say : it does not matter, it's in the past. My new love life begins with you .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): wow yeah that is a lot. She must be lacking something in her life to be throwing herself at so many guys. where is her daddy? Maybe that is her problem. I wouldn't give her the time a day if I was a nice guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): I think that number is perfectly reasonable, but it's a good idea not to talk about your past experiences unless your significant other specifically asks.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 I'm not a guy, but before I was 18 I kissed way, way, way, way, way more guys than 13 - though I was still very much a virgin. Believe me, when you get older, nobody is asking how many guys you've kissed - usually they want to know more about 3rd base and Home Plate. Teenagers spend their time kissing, that is one of the many natures of youth.
Any guy who judges you for kisses is a) extremely, extraordinarily conservative and b) not worth your time anyway for judging you over something so trivial and silly.
Good luck and no worries, sweet!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): I don't think kissing other guys, even quite a few of them, would really be seen as a big deal, that seems fairly normal, and even among people with fairly conservative ideas about relationships etc, would probably accept kissing as okay even if they beleived in no sex before a serious relationship/marriage.I wouldn't worry about it and don't mention it unless it actually comes up in conversation(then of course, you can be honest). On the other side of things, if a guy told me he was really upset that I had kissed other guys before him, I would be concerned. That's not the sort of person you would want a relationship with.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (25 July 2011):
No-one's business but that of the girl herself- if she's attactive enough that lots of guys want to kiss her, and responsive enough to find kissing back enjoyable, let her get on with it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 July 2011):
I know loads of girls who kissed loads of guys when they were teenagers - that's what teenagers do. It's never really changed my opinion on them.
However, there are some guys who won't like that for whatever reason. So unless you're having a very serious talk, you don't really need to tell anyone what happened in your past.
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