A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy on a dating website, we exchanged pictures, emails etc its still early days but he wants to meet up for a drink the only problem is hes a personal trainer....and well im a curvy girl who doesnt exercise and doesn really watch what i eat....im so scared he will take one look at me and be like yuck...as my pictures he has seen have not been full length ones! What should i do? i dont want to say hey look im over weight so i cant meet you....ive told him i want to lose weight so hes giving me advice.....just my weight has been such a issue im not massive im like a size 12-14 UK size....just him being so into fitness anyone not fit must look horrible to him!
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female
reader, xo_xo_xo  +, writes (26 June 2009):
Listen to all the advices below. I agree with all of them.
But if it doesn’t work out with this guy next time post your full height picture before chatting with someone. You will still get plenty of attention but will never feel this insecure anymore before meeting someone. I think no matter what anyone will be telling you right now it will not make you feel completely confident.
Think about how often guys get rejected. They still survive. If for whatever reason things don’t work out between you two it may give you a good boost to lose some weight. I am not saying that you need to, but there is a reason why you didn’t have your full height pic posted. You may not find yourself attractive enough. Try to make friends with this guy if nothing romantic sparks. He may help you to get fit if you think you are not.
But if you do like your body the way it is right now there are plenty of guys that will find you attractive. But even those that like curvy or full-figured women will be more attracted to them if they know that a woman is confident with her own body.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): Send him a full length picture for a start - and make sure it's a recent one. Size 12-14 is pretty much ideal in my book, as are curves. If you've got 'em, flaunt 'em.Fit people aren't always thin people - quite the opposite sometimes. I'm taking a guess that you're the only one that thinks you have a weight problem. In my opinion far too much emphasis is being put on diets these days, mostly in magazines and fashion adverts, giving the impression that stick-thin is attractive. To most men it's not.If you eat healthily and run for the bus once in a while you'll be fine. Attractiveness is something that mainly comes from within - personality and a sense of humour for a start - and if he doesn't seem to notice the 'inner you' he isn't worth bothering about.
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A
female
reader, mitta +, writes (25 June 2009):
I know exactly how you feel. Iv done the online dating thing too! And i was the exact same size as you (Before I got pregnant that is) No guy I ever met had a problem with my wieght, an Iv met some physically fit men, one was a marine and he certainly idnt complain at all! Alot of men like curvy girls with boobs and hips and bums, so dont worry! If hes seen pictures of your face im sure he can guess what wieght you are anyway... most people carry weight uniformly all over.Dont deprive yourself of a good opportunity by putting off meeting him. Besides even if you both love the way each other look you may not have chemistry or good conversation which are much more important
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (25 June 2009):
 You are a normal and healthy size. If he doesnt like it then stuff him, hes a pig.
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A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (25 June 2009):
 You joined a dating site so make it worth your wile and go. Otherwise you are pre-emptivle rejecting this guy so he does not have the chance to reject you. If you acted that way every time you will never make any progress. Don't be concerned with anything but having a good time, if any of that negativity shows on your date he confuse it with a lack of interest.
Here my perspective as a guy and having known a few in my time. Every guy has an ideal type of girl and they don't match. My friend Bret likes rail thin girls that look like you could wash clothes on their ribs. An old roommate Steve liked short curvy girls. Just because a guy is athletic does not mean that is what he is attracted to.
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A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (25 June 2009):
I'm studying to be a Personal fitness trainer. I can see why you'd think that, but honestly the reason this guy is in that profession will be because he's passionate about being healthy and he wants to help people become healthier, it's not a reflection of what he finds attractive, when you go into it for a profession it's not about what you look like, it's about health & fitness, he's not going to judge you because you're curvy because of his proffesion, for everyone i know in this proffesion, when we see someone overweight or even obese, we dont look at them and think yuck, we want to help them, IF they want help that is ofcourse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): hey. don't put yourself down. Most guys find curvy girls hot. take my husband for example. He married me and i'm around the same sizze as you and he's a fitness freak. He constantly watches what he eats and excercises like mad but he still loves me as he loves me for what's on the inside. meet him and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised because otherwise you'll always find yourself wondering what if... Also, if he said he doesn't what to see you anymore, i highly doubt that he'll say it straight to you, he'll prolly be a bit more subtle, but at least you got shot of him before you two got together. Anyways I hope this helped. Keep us posted please!!!
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