A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ive been dating someone for 3 1/2 years about a year ago we started living together. We use to do everything together - now we sit at opposite ends of the couch and not even speak - if we do go out its with friends even if i request to do something on our own- while were out he's off talking to whoever and i barely see him - i'm at a loss as to whether or not i should stay. The other problem is i want to get married at some point in life and he has made it clear that he will never get married again ( i guess 3 divorces will do that ) Should i continue to try to salvage this or should i cut my losses and leave?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): Your relationship has very obviously become stale, but that's not the main problem that's looming. You want to get married and he doesn't. I can well understand his reasoning if he's had 3 divorces. You come to a point where you think to yourself that if it ain't broke don't try to fix it by getting married. The problem is that with things going stale it's on the brink of being broke anyway.I think you need to lay all your cards on the table, tell him you want to get married sometime and you want to spice things up with him because you're getting very bored with the way things are. If things don't improve then I think you'd be as well to walk, especially as you appear to be like two strangers living in the same house.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): Well, before leaving, I would try to find out what is going wrong first. There isn't much information in your question, but has something happened? Have you two argued about something? Or is it literally just that things are suddenly different now that you are living together?
If that is the case, and you really don't know what's going on, then I think it might be time to try and find out. Have you talked to him and told him how you feel? Have you asked him if there is anything bothering him? Until you ask him about this, you won't know what is going on.
It could be that, now that you are living together, he sees less point in doing activitues together, since you can see each other all the time now. But if you are sitting apart and not talking...that suggests something is wrong. But as for what, I don't know.
All I would suggest is that you try and talk to him about this, and see if you can find out what is bothering him, if anything. Good luck. x
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