A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi there i have just recently found out im 10 weeks pregnant and not too sure what to do. im booked in for an abortion on monday but dont think i can go through with it. im 20 and have only been with my boyfriend for 4months, hes 25 and has a good job, at first we decided to terminate but we just found out that the baby has grown alot quicker than we expected. i was on the pill so it was a bit of a shock. im so confused...
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abortion, the pill Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 2dareANDdream  +, writes (29 January 2009):
 I have been through the adoption process. If you need some advice or have any questions please feel free to write me.
A
male
reader, geertieman  +, writes (13 January 2009):
Hey, I'm so sorry you have to go through this, especially since you used the pill. I want to give you advice, but it's difficult, cause I don't want to hurt you. On the other hand, inside of you there's something that can grow into a person. Someone who might be a murderer, or someone who could find a cure for cancer, AIDS, or become a writer, actor... You're 20, so it's your desicion. Can't you "lend" your body for a couple of months? Find a couple for adoption? I can only tell twho things for sure: my Mum had 3 miscarriges, she's in her 70 and she still cries over them, and those were accidents, so are you strong enough to carry the decision of terminating a life? I hope you get lot's of support from friends, your man, and your parents. And I wish you lot's of strength.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): hi, please, please dont do it if you are not 100% sure, believe me you will regret it if, you make the wrong decision.Once its done there is no going back.
I felt so guilty for many, many yrs, i was only 15 when i got pregnant, i was pushed and bullied into having the baby aborted, by my family. I felt so guilty and regretted it.As i grow older and got married, had my first baby the guilt set in even more, my baby died at almost 6wks due to a heart problem.I convinced myself this was my punishment because i had an aborted a baby and, shouldnt of let my family bully me into it. Im not saying you are going to feel guilty when and if you decide to have a baby, nor am i saying that something is going to go wrong but, you really do need to think very hard on this one, talk to your parents, boyfriend and also gp, but please make sure that it is you, that is happy with what ever you decide to do. You can as others have said concider adoption, there are so many couple that cant have children of there own.
I really feel for you and do hope that, what ever you decide it is the right thing to do for you.
good luck
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A
female
reader, mdlasure +, writes (9 January 2009):
There is always adoption. You can find a family that wants to adopt your baby in an "open situation" so you can always have a relationship with the child. My husband and I are hoping to adopt this way.Abortion is a personal choice, but make sure you REALLY consider all of your options before going this route. Most of all, make the decision that is right for you and your situation... trust in yourself. Hugs to you!
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A
female
reader, confusedinkent +, writes (7 January 2009):
 well if you have any doubts its very important that you talk them over with your partner. its not easy to make that decision, and women who have always regret it after. but it doesnt mean it wasnt the right thing to do for them.im not for abortion or against it. I think if you genuinly feel that you can not care for or look after a baby right now, then you do what you have to do. but if you are having doubts about the abortion its self then I would postpone it, at least until you are sure of what you really want to do. whatever decision you make will be the right one, trust in that. good luck and god bless xx
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A
female
reader, MommyOfOne +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Yes. Be sure before you walk into that doctors office.My best advice for you, is to sit down and talk with the father. Let him know that you are unsure about the abortion and need to hear what he says and also put what you want on the table as well.
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Don't terminate this pregnancy unless you are certain that is what you want to do. It would be awful for you to regret this decision later on when it is too late.
How does you boyfriend feel about keeping the baby? 4 months isnt a long time but if you both love one another then i think you could make it work as a family.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Do not have an abortion unless you are 100% sure that it is right for you at this time. I think if you have doubts you'll end up truly regretting your decision. There is adoption possibilities if you decide you really can't raise the baby yourself. Be absolutely sure before you terminate.
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A
male
reader, core_confusion +, writes (7 January 2009):
 There's no set answer to this I'm afraid. There are options to what you could do and where they lead nad ultimateley the choice is yours. First of all, having a child is a fantastic thing, even if it wasnt planned that doesnt automatically make it a bad thing. There are many options available if you did decide to keep the baby. First of all, maybe you and your parther would make good parents? Children seem daunting to us all but once the initial fear is overcome, there's a lot of good there too. Secondly, even if you bring up a child as a single parent, family and friends will always be there to help. Another option could be adoption. If you really dont want to be a parent and dont want to have the abortion either, there is that option too.
If you decide to go ahead with the abortion, that does give you a final point to move forward from, but there is the obvious draw back of it being a decision that cannot be reversed.
The one piece of advice I can and will give is based on personal experience. A very close firend of mine had an abortion a number of years ago, before I first met her. So far it's taken her atleast 10 years to trully deal with it and she's not out of the woods yet. If you do decide to go ahead then please make sure that you are totally sure of what you are doing and take any available support that is offered.
I hope some or all of this will help.
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