A
male
age
36-40,
*anGC
writes:I am a 20 yr old guy, and my girlfriend is 17. I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months, and things seem to be stuck in a rut. This girl is my first real girlfriend, and we were getting on so well up until about a month ago. Ever since then, she has been really hard to talk to, submissive, and generally disinterested. I have known her for 2 years, but were friends for a long time, but we always had a bond.It must be said that she is a very ambituous young women, and she has a lot of work from college, which at times can be very stressful for her. I am totally supportive of her, and i do not moan or apply any pressure if i only get to see her once a week. But i can tell that it really bothers her, and she has hopes of going to Oxford. We have both met each others parents, and have got on really well with them. Our parents are yet to meet. We have slept together 3 times, and two months ago, things were never better. Christmas was a fantastic time for us, and she stated in no uncertain terms, her love and adoration for me, and she's not the type to just say those 3 words without any substance. I do genuinely love this girl, and i want whats best for her, and for us.Basically, i just would like some advice how to potentially save our relationship should she be thinking of going her separate way. I know you cannot make somebody stay with you, but i truly beleive that she loves me, and is finding her workload very difficult. How can i show that i am there for her, and that i truly care, without being overwhelming.
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male
reader, DanGC +, writes (21 March 2008):
DanGC is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks or the replies to my message. I would like to give you a bit of an update on the situation, to see if you could give me any extended advice.
I sat her down, and spoke to her. I looked into her eyes, and told her that i was here for her and that i love her dearly. I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart. She said thanks, and that she loves me too.
It is rather strange though, because one minute she will be happy and her usual self with me, and the next she shall be giving me the cold shoulder and ignoring my texts/ calls... or generally being moody. I totally appreciate that this work is bound to drag her spirits down at some point, but why does she take it out on me. She is ine with her parents and her friends... it's just me!
Do you think she is trying to tell me something without hurting me or am i worrying myself over nothing?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Ways to let her know you're there:
Send her texts to check she's okay, and say you love her.
Hold her hand.
Give her nice cuddles.
Simply tell her that you're there if she ever needs you.
If she looks a little stressed or worried, casually tell her a light joke or make her smile.
Offer to help with her work if you can.
Talk to her! Ask her how her day has been.
Smile at her, and make her feel loved and welcome.
Good luck :]
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A
female
reader, Kiss Dont Miss  +, writes (19 March 2008):
Try to help her with the workload. She'll be pleased with your attention and input. Be patient. And whenever you find it a suitable time, ask her whether she cares about you as much as she did before (don't do it when she has loads of work to do, when she's busy, etc.)Hope you will be together when loving each other dearly.Take care,kissdontmiss.com
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A
female
reader, Beth-Lloyd Ox +, writes (19 March 2008):
Okay, i had the same problem, then my boyfriend dumped me and he says he doesnt like me and never did
Please whatever you do dont do what my ex did,
talk to her because when i looked back me and my boyfriend never talked about eachothers problems,
maybe you could work it out or not,
if not try and win her back with everything you have
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