A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do you if you are on a relationship with a selfish woman? She thinks everything revolves around her. I love her dearly but I have been holding back on getting engaged because of this issue? Is it possible that with time and cpmmunication she can change? Is it worth waiting for? Please help.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (28 December 2010):
Good gosh - sometimes I have to shake my head at the questions asked here. How about - "My significant other hits me as hard as they can at least five times a day, and then demeans me afterwards. What should I do? Should we get married?"
You have all the information you need right now to make a decision. Do you think marriage or children will change her? Yes - it will - it will likely maker her even more selfish.
If you enjoy the idea of being in a miserable one sided relationship for the rest of your days, then by all means stay with her.
A
female
reader, Dreamer1988 +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Her having an abortion without telling you is pretty serious- the movie/ticket thing not as much... but it sounds like you don't want to leave her yet. Maybe, keep seeing her until something better comes along.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Dreamer, if I told you everything you would kick me but to name a few things that happened in 2010 she had an abortion and didn't even tell me she was going to do it even though we had discussed having kids and said of it happened we would be parents, she doesn't consider my feelings feelings before she makes decisions on many things and it causes arguments and just recently for Christmas she nought me tovkeys for a show that she wants to go see not me, not that I'm against going to see it but don't act like you bougjt them for me. We weren't able to see it cause of the snowstorm and I wad ok because of the bad wrathet but she wad so upset cause we didn't make the show. We tried to go but honestly we should have never left the house cause it was a blizzard. I could go on and on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the advice. I love her very much and at the same time.I'm divorced and don't wanna put myself in a bad situation knowing she is so self serving.
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A
female
reader, Tutti  +, writes (28 December 2010):
The one thing that I have learnt about getting married is the same thing I learnt about having a baby: it doubles your joy if you are already happy and it quadruples your sorrows if you already have cracks in your relationship.No marriage, no engagement and no baby can save bad habits. Sort them out before you take the big plunge. When you are married, problems become magnified. Sort them out now before they become uncontrollable monsters.Oh yes, also remember that no amount of help can help a person who does not believe that he or she needs it.Good luck!
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A
male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Getting engaged is a huge step.A friend of mine is dating a girl who is completely wrapped up in herself. She can't even carry a conversation because she doesn't want to listen to anyone else's stupid life. And he is blunt with her about it. If she quits listening, he quits talking. She's slowly coming around, too...So just come up with some way to make her realize it isn't all about her. Talk to her and have her know WHY you are acting the way you are. If a month of not treating her as a princess gets you the boot, then you have your answer. If she turns around, you have your answer.
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A
female
reader, Cheeks +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Of course it's possible. IF you have the patience and she cares at all then there's hope. Maybe she doesn't have a clue in the world she's that way. Diplomaticly point out the selfish things she does and show her the kind things you and others do instead maybe she'll start getting the hint and start thinking of others.
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A
female
reader, Dreamer1988 +, writes (28 December 2010):
How is she selfish?
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A
female
reader, laddie +, writes (28 December 2010):
Ok i think im the perfect person to answer this 4 u because i used 2 be self centered and wat u should do is tell her because if she doesnt know then she will keep doing it but if she knows that she is and you havent told her that u dont like it then shes not gonna ever stop doing it until you or somebody else tells her about it and you should be the one to tell her
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