A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i am 18 years old, i am having a baby, i am 17weeks today, me and the father are together but he says he will be with and stay with me if i give the baby up for adoption, and if i keep it he will leave, I am stuck in a rut and im not sure what to do, i look at it if i give it up it would be open adoption, and he agrees with that, in away i want to do open adoption, cuz i know it will be in a good and better place, or at least i hope so. and then again i dont cuz i dont want it to hate me and not wanna c me, and i want to be called mommy, but if i keep it i lose my prince charming and if i give it up i get my prince charming but one day he could leave, i need help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): Have you talked about this with your family - get their ideas and input. My mother gave up her son for adoption in the 70's and personally regreted it, i find myself now 10 weeks pregnant and i am terrified of being a parent as i am not sure i can handle it. I talk about it with my mum and she has stated quite clearly that if i find i cannot cope, she will take the child on and be its guardian etc. She would never let me adopt even if i wanted to because she knows that i would regret it. I'm still not sure about my thoughts on the baby that is coming closer everyday but it helps to know i am not alone and that if i can't do it, someone is there to help pick up the slack. Talk to your family, like mine - maybe they would consider taking the baby in if you decide to side with your boyfriend. Atleast you will always be mummy, always be able to see your child grow up and always have the choice to change your mind. With adopting after six months, you don't get to change your mind or atleast thats what it is like here. I would say talk to your family and try to decide what is best for you. I don't think a prince charming would ask yo to choose between him and the baby but maybe he is scare. I would say think about it more, talk to your family, talk to his family and talk to him. If anything - make a compromise, say you'll decide once the baby is born because it is possible that once he sees baby that he and you may never want to let baby go. I would say do whats best for you and your happiness - you have to live with whatever you decide so don't rush a decision - its your life!
A
female
reader, ElectricSheep  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 First decide what YOU want to do with the baby. Your boyfriend shouldn't be the one giving you ultimatums, especially when it's something like this. How can he make you choose between him and the baby?!
You're going to be the one who has to live with your decision, so make a decision that *you* fully believe in.
Good luck with everything!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): 1- This guy is a 100% POS.
2- I'd look into seeing if you have grounds for divorce based on common law marriage, if you do divorce him and get a settlement. Certainly child custody. I can't tell where you're form so the laws are going to vary. IN some locations "common law" marriage is easy to accidentally fall into. Divorce is the only way to dissolve it.
3- get him legally on the hook for supporting your child...
what a JERK...
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A
female
reader, bluelagoon  +, writes (17 February 2010):
You need to think what is best for your child. If you give the baby up you may deeply regret making that decision and by that time it will be too late. You shouldnt want to be with someone who gives you this kind of ultimatum. Remember its not like giving up chocolate for lent or something! its a human child and you will have a special bond as you have created a beautiful baby so it may be difficult to put it up for adoption. Don't punish the child for this mans immature behavior. I really help everything works out for you and your baby!
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 February 2010):
 Think about what you want.. Abortion, adoption or keep the baby, it's your decision and if he won't support you, then he's no good and he'll be gone soon anyway.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 February 2010):
Prince Charming dosen't force a mother to give away her child... And the princess should know a selfish frog when she see's one..
Seems like you'll do anything for this man, bad, bad decision, you'll find out one day, as right now your considering giving up not only your baby, but your self respect.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963 +, writes (17 February 2010):
 How did you get into this position? You must not let this man make decisions for you. You have that little child growing inside you made out of love. I think asking someone to abort a child or give up their own flesh and blood are evil. If I was you I would leave him first. If he rally cares for you he will understand that the decision he is making for you will pray on your mind for the rest of your life (and his - if he has emotions!) The poor little child will one day ask - why did my mum and dad give me up and they wanted to stay together.
You will cope by yourself with a child if you choose to and there are many real Prince Charmings out there who will take you and your child and ride into the sunset.
Remain position for you and your childs sake. Please make the right decision.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): how can you even call this guy prince charming? is that some kind of joke? This guy is an a******. Leave him and decide what your going to do with the baby... keep it/abortion/adoption.. but whatever you do.. this guy does not have your best interests at heart and clearly does not care about you.
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A
male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (17 February 2010):
Don't listen to him. He's forcing you to do something you might not want to do. If you feel you want to be with your child after it's born then it's ok. The moment he asked you to choose was the moment he stopped being prince charming and started to be selfish. I can't imagine anyone asking someone to choose between your own child or them. You just don't do that to someone. Like caringguy said even if you do decide to give up for adoption he can still leave you. So take some time to think about what you want to do for yourself and not for this guy. If you want to keep it then your boyfriend will just have to accept or not. Then you will really know if he's prince charming or not. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, adjc? +, writes (17 February 2010):
this is a very difficult situation. but honestly if this guy cares about you and what you want he wouldnt give you a altamtiom. because whos to say after you give up you chiled he wont leave anyway. make this desion for you self not him. cuz it sounds like hes trying to find a way were hes not responsible for the kid. good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 February 2010):
He's not Prince Charming if he's forcing you to do this. He's not. If you put your baby up for adoption, in a few years you will really resent him for making you do it. No decent boyfriend would put the woman he loves in this position. Ever. He's not Prince Charming. And as you say, he might leave anyway.
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