A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am having a affiar with a 26 year old man.He has a girlfriend and two kids.I have a bf of 3 years i luv him to bits, but he doesnt make me feel special any more and the 26 year old does. Even tho he is just wantin sex i still enjoy being with him, i am fed up of being treated like i am cheap as he only does it with me in the car, he tells me he like me, What should i do!
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cheap, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 stay single go on holidays relax your burning yourself up
A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (18 January 2007):
 My personal opinion is that no matter how much you think you love someone, it is NOT ENOUGH if you would ever cheat on them.
You shouldn't be with either of these guys, and there isn't a single person involved that won't get hurt by this. Get out now, move on, and find a healthier way to feel special.
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (18 January 2007):
 This situation is recipe for disaster.
You have a boyfriend, this should be incentive enough to stay away. If you are not in love with him and he does not make you feel special, then leave him so that you can play with whoever you want.
This other guy does not respect you, wants a cheap trill. If you respected yourself, you would not allow him to touch you.
Also he has a girlfriend and kids. To many innocent people involved that will end of hurt because of two selfish people that just want to have a laugh.
If it was you being cheated, it would not be so much would it?
Everyone makes mistakes but a special person can make the choice to stop making same mistakes. Which one will you be is down to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): Sex in a car makes you feel special? Wow. This guy has kids. Try and think about them and break it off now.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Can you define special? How does sex in a car make you feel special?
Have you stopped to think what this would do to your boyfriend (who you love so much) if he ever found out?
The last little bit of your post, "he tells me he like me". Is that what makes you feel special? If that is the case, then you really need to think about what you want out of life. Get some self respect. Tell your boyfriend the truth and let him find somebody deserving of him.
Then you should make a fresh start. Get the 'special' one out of your life. Do you really think he cares about you or your boyfriend? This guy is out for what he can get and will get it from you for as long as you allow him to.
I have been on the receiving end of this for a long time. I was the cheated on boyfriend, I was madly in love and she was getting cheap sex from a neighbour, also much older. Your heart would bleed if you knew what your boyfriend would go through if he found out. Its soul destroying.
I am sorry if I seem a little harsh, but I would not like anyone else to go through what I went through. End it now before your BF is hurt and you are stuck feeling cheap with a slutty reputation hanging over your head for the next 10 years.
What will the special guy do when you end it? Will he burst into tears and miss you? No. Miss the sex maybe, but he has a girlfriend, so he will get over it. Then he will just use another young girl who is just as willing to give it up as you were.
Value yourself, value your boyfriend, value what you have before you throw it all away.
Take care and good luck x
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 You are being cheap and shallow.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Wow, what is your boyfriend doing wrong? If all it takes is sex i the car to make you feel special, it doesnt seem to take alot!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 You have sex with this guy in a car and that makes you feel special? Special Ed maybe. Wise up sugar.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): you are cheap,cheap as they come. your having an affair on a man you claim to love.. how much more cheap and disgusting do you want to be?
this guy is using you for sex its that simple, he knows you have a partner who will unfortunatly put up with you while he gets all the good bits. this guy will never be with you and hopefully your bf will find out and wont be with you either.
come clean with your bf and tell him all the decietfull things youve done to him so he can move on and be with someone who deserves him.
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Hi Anon. Sorry to say so but he's using you for sex. Get out of the relationship now. It's already making you feel cheap and continuing this affair will only make things worse. I don't understand how you can say you love your boyfriend to bits! If you did you would not cheat on him! You should also take a serious look at your relationship with your boyfriend and see why it's not making you happy and making you have an affair, probably its lust... Maybe a complete break from a steady relationship will give you time to think what you want. Being faithful is the best policy; it's far more rewarding and the right thing to do. You can if you want too. Take care.
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A
female
reader, black_diamond329 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 You wanna know what the right thing to do is? Although I think you already do. Just becuase your relationship with your bf isn't doing it for you anymore is no excuse to have an affair with a married man! The fact he has kids with this other woman and you are so much younger can't you see that you will never be more to him than a quick shag once in a while? How can you possibly feel special when he can't even hide the fact that all he want's is to have sex with you and the fact he won't even shell out for a hotel room just shows you how little you mean to him. You realise he will just stick with you until another gal comes along that he can do the same with? I understand that sex with an older man who is more mature than ur bf may seem extremely attractive and special but trust me there is no love there on either side and at the end of the day do you want to be the contributing factor to his marriage ending? Fair enough if he didn't have kids but he does so you need to think about everyone involved in the situation and be the adult seeing as he can't. Tell him that you realise he is just using you for sex and you're not interested any more. He should grow up cos he has a family to take care of and he aint a teenager with no responsibilities any more. If you still love your bf and want it to work out with him talk to him! Tell him how you feel about him doing nothing spontaneous etc and ask him to show you how much he cares for you eg cook you dinner/take you away on holidays etc. If not break it off with him and find a nice SINGLE guy who does make you feel special.
If you can't break things off with the man who is treating you like a common prostitute then really you have to admit you are no better than him and you both deserve what karma will dish you out eventually. Sorry to be blunt but you gotta think about this logically no matter how much you think you like him ok sweetie?
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