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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend has the worse self esteem issues. It all started when I check out her friend in front of her and say she (my gf) better looking then she is (I was a bit drunk as well). She didn't really care at first until we got home. She scream at me for not respecting her and said something about not finding her attractive. I say "At least she's not as bitchy as you are" she kicked me out after that. Like a week later we made up but she's convince that I think about her friend sexually and I find her ugly. She doesn't let me her naked anymore or when we make love keeps her shirt on. any ideas.
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male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (22 February 2009):
 I don't think you should be with this girl if you don't honestly think she's the most beautiful and attractive woman on the planet. She's not the one for you.
When you meet the right girl, you'll know in your heart that she's the most gorgeous woman that's ever lived. And these issues will stop completely.
A
female
reader, Kimberle  +, writes (22 February 2009):
You never say someone is more beautiful than ur girlfriend. We all know that there are more attractive people than us..but when you say things like waht you said..we start doubting your love for us. Dont ask why .. we are women! Also remember this women dont usually dress for their man or men in general..we dress to look better than other women. We are very competative towards even our best friends. Dont over do the apologies she will know they are fake..but for the next couple of months watch urself and let her see you only having eyes for her. And I mean look inside her..let her feel you love her. But man the damage you did ..is gonna take time be patient with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Damn, you just learned the hard way one of the worst things you can ever say to a girlfriend. Never, ever compare her to another girl or even let her think that you do. Even if you say she's hotter it doesn't matter.
I wouldn't blame her for kicking you out after what said it was an idiotic thing to say and it was designed to hurt her.
You're now in the situation where if you're both out and her friend is around she's gonna feel insecure and you're going to have to be very careful.
You're gonna have to work hard to undo the damage you have done. You gave her those self esteem issue's, or at least exacerbated them. Good Luck.
Here's a few more things you never say to a girlfriend just in case you didn't know:
"Have you put on weight?"
"You're just like your mother"
"You'd look better if..."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): You told her that her girlfriend is better looking than her? Am I understanding this correctly???
How would you feel if she told you one of your friends were Hotter than you???
You may have damaged this girl for years to come! I can't believe she took you back. A comment like that would crush anyones self-esteem. You are inconsiderated and disrespectful! I doubt if you will ever see her naked again!
I hope she meets someone who will treat her like a queen and she will leave you in her dust!
Do you realize how damaging that was? Do you expect sympathy from us? In my book, that is unforgivable! And I have been through a lot of crap in my life!
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A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (22 February 2009):
 i have to agree with betty on this.
firstly apologise... as often as you have to.
tell her everyday that she's beautiful and that your the luckiest guy in the world.
lay off alcohol for good if your going to behave like that, although its no excuse.
compliment her on what shes wearing.
make her a romantic dinner or her favourite food or take her out to a nice restaurant if you cant cook (doesnt have to be overly expensive, just not somewhere cheap like, lets say.. mcdonalds) to show her how much you appreciate her.
i could think of a lot of other things but it would take forever to type them up.
but i hope this is some sort of help.
good luck
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A
female
reader, bettynotsweaty +, writes (22 February 2009):
dont drink again ever if you are going to do stupid things like that. alcohol however, is no excuse.
apologise profusely (this may require presents), and give her free pass to compare yourself with whichever of your friends she finds more attractive. this will hurt, exactly the same way you hurt her.
your girlfriend does not have any worse self esteem than any single woman out there on the planet ever, bar angelina jolie (who has different issues going on) - be thankful she is still letting your penis within 10 ft of her still attached to your body, because if you did that to me, i would have it stuck on my mantlepiece.
mate, you screwed up majorly, and the only thing that will help is a sincere apology and continuous, genuine compliments, whilst not pushing you luck bedroom-wise.
that and swearing off the booze.
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