A
male
age
30-35,
*erawder
writes:My girlfriend has an irrational fear of pregnancy I'm afraid. It's not a matter of sex even though, she gets super freaked out about touching my penis in case it somehow got her pregnant. She is even acts worried in the hot tub about over exciting me, because she's afraid I might prematurely ejaculate, and the sperm would swim from me over to her, go up her and impregnate her (even though I have never pre-ejact before. And that senario is impossible).We have talked about it, and it's not like she doesn't get how pregnancy happens, she just seems to be afraid that by some series of coincidences semen could get up her, even though I haven't seen her naked much less came into contact with her vagina.How can I help my girlfriend stop worrying about it so much? Were both virgins and first time bfs/gfs, will she just get over it over time?
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both virgins, ejaculate, my penis, semen, sperm, vagina Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Trust me man, it wnt get her pregnant if u ejaculate, only if your penis is not in her vagina she will not get pregnant
A
female
reader, cat lady  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 @ MerawderLOL! No need to be a moron to be unable to keep up with the latest on hormone-based BC! You'd be surprised how many people don't know how to use them. However, the BC dose doesn't appear to be your problem. Your problem seems to be that your girlfriend doesn't want sex and you do. Find something else to do with your time, kids; you're both too young. And remember this: girls don't forgive you for that kind of sexual pressure, even years later, and neither do their parents if they catch you.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (13 January 2011):
 She is taking a certain dosage of birth control to help her with her periods but its not enough to prevent pregnancy? Where did she get that idea from? Birth control is made to prevent pregnancy and as a side affect it also helps girls with their period flow and making it regular.
I have never heard of a birth control dosage that doesn't prevent pregnancy. Even if she is telling the truth, if she is that afraid of getting pregnant, then don't have sex. That's the easiest way to not get pregnant is do not have sex. Sexual activities can be put on hold until she is more comfortable with them.
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A
male
reader, Merawder +, writes (13 January 2011):
Merawder is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncat lady, I know you answered this question with the intention to help and I apreciate the long message, but with all due respect I'm not a moron :P
I know perfectly well that simply popping more pills wont increase the effect of most drugs, it will more likely just be harmful. By "upping her dosage" I ment asking her doctor about a BC program more effective at controlling birth.
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A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (12 January 2011):
I almost never use this line but now I have to do: Google is your friend. Almost all forms of birth control have side effects, some of them quite serious and causing trouble for years ahead. Some people are even allergic to BC pills or patches. You can't just 'up your dose' of hormones without medical supervision and very good medical reasons. There is even risk of cancer and birth defects later. This end of modern medicine is only about 50 years old and we're still trying to get the kinks out.
Your GF may have health issues you know nothing of. Whatever her trouble may be, if she said 'No,' it means 'No' and if you're decently bred, take her at her word. You are both very young and should not be rushing into adult situations for which you are far from ready. There is nothing irrational about being afraid of an unplanned, unwanted and unwed pregnancy - though I'll concede that if she's telling you exact truth, she could do with a thorough explanation of 'the facts of life' from a qualified medical practitioner. Unless or until you set up practice as a doctor yourself, she's likely to resent your own attempts to assume that role.
I know it's hard for two healthy, normal young people to understand this but the sooner you accept it, the better: neither you nor she are on this earth simply to service one another. Even if you marry, you'll not be spending all your time in bed; life happens around you in between trysts. There is plenty of time for you both to make adult decisions. Enjoy your youth and freedom whilst you have them or you'll be wishing them back sooner than you think.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 January 2011):
 This isn't something you can fix. She has to do it for herself. Frankly, she sounds as though she's not really interested in any type of sexual contact. Maybe it would be better for now to avoid situations where you find yourself alone with her. Maybe when she's a bit older and more mature, she'll be able to begin to engage in sexual activity, but for now, it's pretty clear she's not ready. Don't push it.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (12 January 2011):
 Her fear is an indication that she isn't ready for the activities you are doing. I think you guys should back off the sexual contact for a bit. The more irrational a fear, the more of an indication it is that what she's "afraid" of isn't the real problem.
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A
male
reader, Merawder +, writes (12 January 2011):
Merawder is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is on a certain amount of BC to control her period, but she says it's not enough to prevent pregnancy. I'm not sure why she doesn't want to increase her dosage or whatever it is you do
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A
female
reader, justjess  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 have you spoken to her about the possiblity of going on some form of birth control? hopefully that could them put her at ease
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (12 January 2011):
Irrational fear. Perhaps one day she will realize that sperm doesn't have egg seeking radar and won't just impregnate her on a whim while she isn't have sex.
A lot of my friends share that same fear although not to that extreme. Its cool that she is aware of the consequences of sex and wants to prevent/avoid them. Have you discussed her fear with her to see if it stems from something?
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