A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey. me and my girlfriend have been going out now for 3 and a half months. i really like her in fact i think i love her. im 17 and shes only 14 but we both say age doesnt matter. i am not pushing her into anything. we have had sex twice but i dont make her if she doesnt want to. she was in fact the one that came onto me the first time when she told me she was ready. the thing is, she is always putting herself down callin her self ugly. "a tramp" is how she describes herself. she always says shes fat and says she hates herself. she asks me why im with her and i saw a conversation on her msn to her friend sayin she thinks im going to let her love me then im going to leave her but im not and i cant get through to her that i love her for who she is and not what she looks like. i have always believed a person is a person for who they are not what they are and dont judge a book by its cover. why is she callin herself all these things how can i tell her that i truly love her and i am not going to leave her anyone got any advice. cheers
View related questions:
confidence, msn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chrissy32789  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Dear anonymous writer,
Your right you should never let age get in the way of being in love but the law will get in the way! you have to be very careful about what you do with her once you trun 18 you will be in jail but also right now you can be sent to boot camp because she is not the age of "consent" be very careful! All girls her age put there self down like that when i was that age i said all the same things. she will get through this sometimes girls do that to see what you will say about it and it makes us feel good when you hear your man say how good you are and how much you love them, just keep going on like you are and when you two go out longer she will relize it, shes still young and you are prolly her first true love and she isnt use to someone loving her like you do....well good luck and be careful with her age isnt a problem intil the law finds out!
A
female
reader, peppersalt +, writes (11 April 2007):
she's either a) insecure or b) attention seeking.
if it's a) then keep reminding her you think she's beautiful and love her for who she is. my bf of 7 months who I love to pieces is incredibly insecure about his looks. He thinks he's ugly and don't understand how I can fancy him, but to me he is the most gorgeous man in the world, and to everyone else he's a really attractive guy so i'm not sure where it's coming from. but that's part of him, and I'm always ready to tell and show him the truth, that I think he's incredible looking, fancy the pants off him and that he turns me on loads. every time she brings it up, let her know how you feel. eventually even if she still thinks shes ugly, she might start to believe you think she's attractive, which you clearly do.
if it's all about b) then the best thing to do is ignore it basically. I know a lot of people who'll say ohh i'm so ugly or fat, just for everyone to say no you're not! and if you agree with them, they get angry, even though you're just agreeing with their opinion, cos they didn't really think that in the first place..
guess you gotta work out which it is and act accordingly. My bets are on the first, considering she's expressed worry to a friend about you leaving her.
...............................
A
male
reader, ask stivy +, writes (10 April 2007):
 Most girls put themselves down, its just a way of getting people to give them compliments and if that doesnt work with her just give her a kiss and show her what you like about her! hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, PoSiOnKiSS +, writes (10 April 2007):
 when i was young i went through a stage of depression where i was constantly down and felt like the ugliest person alive. but when i found a boyfriend i grew in confidence until finally i dont give a blue monkeys a** as to what others think. It was all because of the encouragment i was given, the tlc i recieved really helped. so the best thing you can do to your girlfriend is sit down and have a serious adult discussion about this or you could even write a letter, write all your feelings down and give it to her so she can read it over and over so itll hopefully sink in. all she needs, and all any woman needs when there down and think there ugly is just some love and words of encouragment. hope this helps x
...............................
A
female
reader, mwest +, writes (10 April 2007):
I'm sorta going through the samething right now with my boyfriend and I. We're older than you both(both 31) and we've been going out a year and a half. We have a great relationship but I'm so insecure about myself and its starting to reflect on our relationship. I think he's cheating on me but he gives no edvidence that he is either. He tells me I'm beautiful and that I have a great body all the time, but sometimes I just don't see it. All I have to say is, is be patient with her. I know that eventually you can't keep reassuring her how you feel but its tough being a girl, especially when your a teenager. Believe me, I was the same exact way at her age, I'm still that way. My insecurites are becoming so bad that I had to call and make an appt. for a counselor. Maybe, she was verbally abused when she was younger, you don't know. I think that's where my problem stems from, because I was told that I wouldn't amount to anything and its hard to break that thinking. Give it time, sit down and talk to her and make her realize that you are with her for the person she is on the inside and not what she is on the outside. I hope everything works out and I'm here if you need more advice.
...............................
|
