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age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hi agony aunts! Im 15 and in a serious LDR. We spoke about what if we had sex. It would be my first, not his. But OUR first together.Obviously not soon, but what really bugged me was that I was asked if I had popped my cherry, I said no. I don't want to be the one to that. It sounds painful, why would I want to inflick pain on myself?So then I was asked if I would bleed a lot.I said that it depends on the person, every one is different. I may I may not. He does not want blood on his bed. I literally wanted to say What the F---k.First of all theres always laying down a towel. Second, theres always the shower. So why would it be a big deal? Or am I blowing this out of the water?I mean, saying he does not want blood on the bed? Thats coming from a guy that has cut before. He quit by the way.I brushed it off a few days but I know my period will be soon and that thought just brought up my BF and the whole blood thing.I love him like crazy but... I just feel crushed.Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): This girl is under-age - she is a minor, and none of us know for sure she is 15, may be she is, but suppose she is 13, as 13-15t is the 'age tagged up for this posting, should be advised " ts gonna be your first time and hes only concerned about blood on his sheets well he should get a cover so it doesnt get to the sheets and both of you can have a good time."
NO she should not, apart from her being under-age, she has NOT even met this boy, we don't know his age, she could be vulnerable, impressionable, so caution should be taken in giving that kind of advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): well its a big problem if he is not comfortable with blood, some girls dont even bleed only once and say you are one of them what happens. Its these little things that shows if he cares, its gonna be your first time and hes only concerned about blood on his sheets well he should get a cover so it doesnt get to the sheets and both of you can have a good time. Please make sure you wana give it up cause you dont get a first time twice
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female
reader, comeonjesusthishurtstoomuch  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 your making a mistake your fifteen but you aren't stupid why would you want to lose your virginity to someone like that it is so special don't you want it to be treated as such
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): You are 15 and therefore UNDER the AGE of legal consent in the USA, and sex advice should not be given to you, as it is illegal. I wanted to mention that FIRST as some people may offer you advice when it is NOT appropriate!
No sexual advice should be given to those under the legal age of consent, this is NOT being judgemental, merely pointing out DC could find themselves in hot-water if adults over the age of 18 are given such advice to minors.
NOW TO THE MORE IMPORTANT ISSUE OF YOUR QUESTION, sorry no facility to put in bold, I'm not shouting :-)
There is no talk of any emotional intimacy between you and this boy, well I hope he's a boy of YOUR age, as you have NO IDEA if he is 15 or 25 or even older. Secondly, you are NOT in a relationship, communication via email, Facebook, or ANY social network does NOT constitute a relationship. Thirdly, he seems mighty pre-occupied with asking about your virginity, and IF he was genuine, IF he was a NICE boy, he would not even be approaching your virginity via 'electronic communication'. You are NOT old enough to go anywhere to meet this boy, this is NOT wise or sensible, regardless how you feel emotionally about him. He is clearly one-tracked minded, and sounds to me he is VERY POSSIBLY, LIKELY in touch with lots of girls asking about sex.
My fear is that he is not your age, and that would still be bad with him behaving like this, it is not nice or respectful of you and your feelings...BUT a much older boy who looks for, befriends and entices young girls into feeling they are in a friendship/relationship to groom them for sex. Only way to protect you, is to give you the FACTS of what CAN happen with 'virtual relationships' do your parents know of this communication with this boy?
Clearly you are NOT old enough for sex, and should not be entertaining having sex with a 'stranger' as that is what he is, you know nothing about him, other than what he has told you, now whether he's decent with good upbringing, so he knows right from wrong, which I doubt, as your posting indicates he's a bit of slime ball.
Sex is NOT something you discuss like you would discuss going to a movie, it is something that should only EVER be shared as the very last gift of a relationship to someone very, very special, who has shown you love, respect and has not asked or pushed for sex in anyway at all. And with someone you have dated for a long time in the REAL WORLD, not via a computer, where you've both discovered you have true feelings for each other. Girls must not give their bodies away as though it's expected.
Please do NOT arrange to meet this boy, and if you ever do, which I sincerely hope you won't - NEVER meet him, or anyone else without telling lots of people where you are going, and certainly your mother and father should know about this, as sadly paedophiles do exist, and I would have hated not to alert you to this, out of fear of offending you, your safety is paramount!
Please think about all this!
Jilly
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female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 your very young and i know you think this is a dig against you but its not. do you know anything about contraception, do you know what happens if you get pregnant do you know what will happen if either of you are caught having sex do you know what a sexually transmitted disease is ? if you do not know all these answers then i seriously think you need to do some research and make sure you know all the facts because i assure you being a teen mum is not a good thing in many ways. do you think he is grown and mature enough to deal with this the answer is no because when you make love not just sex its a special thing between two people not someone who doesnt like a bit of blood thats little details you over come when you love someone. i think you should grow up a little let your body grow to its full potential and find a decent guy who is grown also and mature. good luck hunnie.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): I get the strong sense this guy is just after it and not really wanting to have it genuinely with you. I feel he'd be more considerate and perhaps suggest a compromise even but he hasnt which leaves me skeptical and urging you to proceed, if you do, with extra extra caution. Good luck.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 December 2010):
Like the others, I also don't think this is the guy is the one to lose your virginity to. He's not mature enough to deal with this at all.
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male
reader, lee saunders +, writes (18 December 2010):
well i suppose the blood thing is going to happen anyway and he can alway buy some new sheets to be honest i would think twice about it and just give it some time you know theres a time and a place for everything and when its meant to happen it will dont stress about it let it come naturally
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 Then he'll have to give it a miss- there's no way to know beforehand if you will bleed or not.
You should find yourself someone less squeamish.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 December 2010):
 It sounds like he wants to take your virginity, his way, and not as you are and how you come to him. If he's conscious about this and it's an issue, as you get to know him, what else will become an issue. He needs to accept that you are a virgin, so if sex happens there may or may not be blood. But who cares, that's what happens when someone looses their virginity. If it's going to be a problem for him, he may be the mistake to loose it to.
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