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female
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anonymous
writes: I broke up with my fiance about 5 months ago, because I found that he cheated me with my sister.She is only 17!!Six months ago, My fiance and I met my sister by chance. And then I found that he often lied to me,the same as my sister .And one day I came back home early. I saw him and my sister were having sex on my bed. I totally shock with that scene.My heart was broken since then.Today I can't meet my sister and my fiance. I can not believe about what they've done to me. I was lied by people I love so much.I can't forget it. I can't stop crying. My heart was broken.What should I do?how do I move on?
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female
reader, alanamal  +, writes (24 December 2009):
OMG!!! The trust factor for you has been destroyed, not only with your fiance and sister but for any future relationship you will have.I am 45 and I am still having trust issues from way back. The only advice I can give you is you have to be strong, yes easier said than done but one thing that has helped me is look in the mirror and tell yourself(everyday) I am going to get thru this I am a good person and deserve someone in my life that will treat me good and love me like I should be. If your fiance can cheat with your own sister I say you must let him go. I don't know how old you are but, You will survive as long as you tell yourself everyday that you will survive and that there is a great love out there for you.
A
male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (20 September 2009):
 I have nothing to say, I know how much betrayal hurts.
I dont know what to do say. Just pray for someone else to come and make them forget the pain. That is the only thing that helped.
Just want to add, it is aboslutely despicable that people would try to justify cheating, like maybe he/she cheated because somehting was wrong, etc. That is disgusting. Cheating is almost a crime, no excuses. Its not like killing someone in self defense. There is no self-defense here, nobody is forcing anyone to cheat. There are no excuses.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with my sister I was walking in my back yard when I saw them kissing on the bed so I walked in and said see how triflen theses bitches can bepacked up my bags grabbed my ticket to Florida and said good-bye to his sorry ass and too who I thought was my sister!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2005): I found out my ex-fiance was cheating on me with someone I thought was a really good friend of mine. The worst part is later I found out she cheated on the day I proposed to her. Take it from me, there is nothing anyone can tell you to do that will make it all better. Instead, allow yourself the full range of emotions that you need to express. Anger, hate, betrayal, rejection, fear, etc.
One thing you should not do, however, is fall into a pattern of self-destructive behavior like overeating, drinking, or using drugs. These are all too often ways people cope with something this traumatic. If I did have any advice, I'd suggest doing things that make you a better person in the long run. Go out and exercise, help an old person, become a Big Sister to an underprivileged kid. These are things that while you deal with your emotions, will help you feel important and fulfilled instead of only rejected and betrayed.
The best lesson to learn from this is that open communication is essential. My g/f cheated because she didn't have the guts to say there was something wrong with us and I was too busy with other things to realize she would have been right. You can't change anything that he did, but you could consider things *you* could have done differently. I'm not saying any of this is your fault, but you should objectively examine your role in the failed relationship. Take that information to your next relationship, and you will likely find yourself with someone you truly love, desire, and, most importantly, with someone who treats you the way you should be treated.
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A
female
reader, Happygoddess +, writes (14 September 2005):
I'm so sorry. I want to say "don't waste your tears" but tears are necessary and I think you've earned the right to cry some. Having said that, keep in mind that this is a time when you can indulge yourself - look inside and use this experience to find something that will benefit you without making you bitter. People will tell you not to talk about it, but in my life the way I have gotten over the biggest hurts has been through talking and getting it all out.
Shame on them. They will have to live with this for the rest of their lives.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2005): My dear-I am so sorry you have to experience this gut wrenching heartache. Suffering two enormous losses is mind boggling and painful so it's crucial, you take your time and recover. It's going to take time, patience, courage and a strong core belief in YOU. Betrayal and loss of trust can have many faces in a variety of relationship situations and often ends up leaving the betrayed party with feelings of loss, anger, depression, and absolute emptiness in trying to face each day. You've been hit with an affair that is essentially a double betrayal; your fiancee violated the rules you thought you both were living by and by your sister, a person you held dear, a member of own your family.
The bedrock of relationships is trust; the shattering of trust through family betrayal makes cheating, a true trauma. Healing involves a long slow rebuilding of trust-the main thing now, is to get as much support as you can. Talk to friends and people you can trust. You need loving and loyal people around you-people who can help you with this pain. If it gets to be too much-then seek some counseling so you can get back on track and start the the healing process. Be good to yourself, my dear...you are are special-please believe in yourself. Take care
Hugs,
Irish
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female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (12 September 2005):
 This is hard. I cant imagine how hard it is for you. Nothing hurts more than betrayal from people you love. What I can tell you is that, your heart needs to heal. It is going to take some time for you to start to open up again and trust. This is more than understandable.
There is nothing you should do, but be open about your feelings. Talk to people who know what happened, so you can let this off your chest. Try writing a note to your ex-fiance and your sister. However, DONT give it to them. Write this letter for yourself, write down everything you wish you could say to them. This will definitely help let
out necessary emotions.
As for moving on I think you shouldnt be alone all the time thinking about this jerk or your sister. You should go out with friends a bit more and try to enjoy life. I know what happened was horrible, but dont waste anymore time thinking about them, you thought about it enough. Eventually, when your ready, you will be willing to open up to new love. Until then be strong.
dee =)
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A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (12 September 2005):
When things like this happen it feels as if the pain is too much to bear. We feel crucified by pain. We wonder how can we go on living and how long can we go on crying. Betrayal or in your case double betrayal scars us for life, accept that as fact because now you are permanently changed by what has happened. Your innocence of life is over, your trust in others has been destroyed. The pain you are going through will leave a scar on every single cell in your body, heart, mind. Never again will you live and love with such trust. When you process all the feelings you need to process, you will look back, you will be a different person, shell shocked, battered by your pain and barely standing, but you will come out the other end, it will take a long time. Forget your fiancee. Over time and I mean years you may be able to look your sister in the face again, maybe. You will be stronger after this, you will be wiser after all this but I wish you didn't have to go through it. I wish people didn't have to go through stuff like this. It hurts and it will always, after a few months you will be able to wrap the pain and betrayal up and put it away in the back of your heart and mind while you get on with your life, but every so often you will take it out and open it and feel it all again, and it will still be as unbearable and painful as in the begining, it will still make you feel sick to touch and it will rip your heart in two to think of it. But you will be able to put it away then. It will be your lesson, and you will never get burned again.
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