A
female
age
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*dognon
writes:I am 19, my boyfriend is 19, we have been together for 5 years.the problem is: My dad wont allow us to sleep together in the same bed!i have been respectful towards my dad for years always going to sleep on the couch a couple times a week when my boyfriend stays and i never sneak into my room, never questioned my dad about his decission for us sleeping seperately until now.My dads friends have been making fun of me and my boyfriend sleeping seperately and have been saying things towards my dad like dont you think your being quite silly they have been together long enough and they are grown up, just let them stay in the same room and stop all the sleeping arrangement hassle.my dad straight away blocks out what his friends say, then he gets a little agressive and says no effing way not under my roof, even though i think her boyfriend is great i dont want him coming into my house doing things with my daughter.... as if he thinks we have never had sex!!...its been 5 years!!!!!!!!!ahhh so now, even though i havent said anything, he is acting really strange, late at night pointlessly coming into my bedroom when im with my boyfriend and saying something random just to come and check up on us, and tells me to leave my bedroom door open... I feel like whenever my boyfriend is over the only thought in my dads head is that were doing it...this disgusts me. And i feel like im being treated like a little child however in every other way my dad treats me like a grown up as in paying for bills and everything.so my question is....how do i get my dad to finally come to terms with me and my boyfriend and to let us sleep in the same bed? and for him to also leave me alone because this is putting a strain on my boyfriends and my relationship as he is now feeling uncomfortable in coming over... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, noncdog +, writes (10 January 2010):
MY update on the situation -
I have now moved out of home into my boyfriends parents house. We have our own bedroom here, and we are treated really well. My boyfriends and my relationship is so much stronger now, and we dont fight as much. I still visit my mum and dad a few times a week, and my relationship with my dad is getting better because im not around to annoy him as much. Over all i am alot happier, and my parents are happy too. My boyfriends family take good care of us, which is lucky because i don't think we are ready to move out together just yet since we have uni.
Oh and when my boyfriend and i slepp at my parents we still sleep seperated.
Thank you for all your answers
A
female
reader, megan1378  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 im 16 years old and my parents love my boyfriend. hes 19. but my boyfriend has a bad past and my parents are willing to let him come stay with us for him to get on the right path and all. but my dads a preacher and im his little girl. but also my brother was 15 and his gf moved in and she was 18 and they slept in the same bed. and i go and stay over at my boyfriends house all the time for long amounts of time and my dad knows i sleep in the same bed as him. when my dads gone my mom lets me and my boyfriend stay in the same bed but now im telling her to talk my dad in to letting my boyfriend sleep in the same bed as me and me keep my door open or im moving out and she said she would so i know where your comming from. its just where every little baby girl their daddys or moms never want to lose them. so good luck
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A
female
reader, cdognon +, writes (21 July 2009):
cdognon is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everybody, Thanks for the advice greatly appreciated.The same rule applies at my boyfriends house except his parents don't check up on us.I cant move out yet because we are studying and have no money, my boyfriend doesn't get out of uni for another 5 years!!!!!!!!!!!!I guess I will just have to suffer silently.
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female
reader, finchy  +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Hey, He's Just Being A Dad.
I Was With My Ex For 2 Years And My Mum And Stepdad Never Let Him Stay Over! And I Kicked Up All Hell!! But They Never Backed Down, But Now Im Thinking Wat The Hell Was I Doing? No Parent Likes The idea Of There Baby Sleeping Next To A Guy Let Along Having Sex With Them.
Just Think.. Would You Let Your Baby Girl Have Sex Under Your Roof?
(I Know Your 19 But Your Still Their Baby) Im 19 And My Mum Still Thinks Of Me As Her Wee Baby lol
I Always Stayed Over At My Boyfriends Place Then We Got Our Own Place..
Save Up And Move Out?
xxx
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 July 2009):
 I only wish there were more parents like your father. He has my respect that's for sure. One day you'll see where he's coming from.
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reader, babymama99 +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Move Out!!
Stay with the boyfriend at his house. Is he still living with his parents?
Your father has every right to lay down the law in HIS house. You need to continue to respect that until you are living in YOUR house.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): I've got a daughter, and I have a lot of sympathy for your dad. Having said that, you are a grown woman now - probably the best thing you can say to your dad is that his behaviour is damaging your relationship with him. Sure, he's not comfortable with the idea of you having sex in his house, but he's making you uncomfortable at home, and that could drive you away.
To this day I'm grateful to my parents that they allowed me and my brothers and sister to have girlfriends/boyfriends stay over.
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 July 2009):
 You might be 19, but you dad still sees you as his "little" girl. Nothing you can do about that. You dad LOVES you and want to protect you from anything bad (even from guys - since he KNOWS how you guys are, HE was one once, remember?)
You will HAVE to accept his house rules. You live in HIS house. It's that simple. If the two of you want to get naughty, you will have to do it at your BF's house.. Or better still, move out.
I don't think he can accept that you :
1. is grown up
2. is having sex.
I'm not sure talking to him will help either. You could try, but you still have to accept his terms.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): you're 19
if you want to stay in the same bed, get your own bed, in your own house
my parents have the same rules
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female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Stay at your boyfriends place.
My parents have the same rules, and while I don't agree with it in the slightest, and I relate to how you're feeling entirely regardless of whatever bills you're paying - it's your fathers house.
I am surprised it's putting a strain on the relationship. In my scenario it occasionally puts a strain on my relationship with my parents (as it's not even open to rational discussion) my boyfriend and I just stay at his instead.
If you really want to be adult and live by your own rules, move out.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Oh Sweetie, your dad just cant face the fact that his little girl might be having sex. As a parent it is very hard to let go of your teenagers and realise that they are sexual human beings and as part of the circle of life, are going to have sex with another person.
When it comes to dads and their daughters, well.. they just seem to be over-protective. I suspect that your father will only allow the two of you to share a bed when there is a wedding ring on your finger.
You are going to have to respect his wishes as long as you are living in his house and under his roof.
Sorry!!
Honeygirl
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): His house, his rules. If you don't like it, get married and move out. This is not hard.
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