Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Proxy  +, writes (5 January 2011):
 Pack your stuff and go, or throw him and his crap out the door.
Your're a strong woman, you deserve better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): seems like you should tell him to pack his bags and learn how to treat a girl.
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female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (4 January 2011):
 LEAVE.
You dont deserve this treatment. Why are you still there?
4 years is a long time. But life is too short to put up with Pr***s like him who are waiting for a better offer. Leave before he leaves you. Cause if you leave him first, it wont hurt as much cause you decided it to happen.
Good luck and stay strong :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): God this is such a predicament... I have been there myself. You have to admit to him you know. Regardless of whether it was by snooping or you innocently found something. He is in the wrong here, NOT you.Sit him down and tell him everything you know and that his lies have hurt you to the point you dont know if you can be with him anymore. Ask him to be completely honest about whether or not he feels its best to continue the relationship. It already sounds like he has made up his mind about this other girl so prepare yourself for the worst. He may try and turn it around on you, especially if you found it out by snooping and even if you didnt he'll probably be convinced thats the way it is anyway. But dont let him make you feel like the bad guy. Be strong. Show him you wont let anyone walk all over you like that.Im so sorry for you! Good luck, I wish you the best!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Leave.
You don't need to justify your leaving and and you don't need to give him a speech telling him how you found out.
You gave him his chance to explain himself and be honest and he decided to lie. You've done your part. Move on. Things will get better.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (4 January 2011):
 hi
i'm so sorry to hear this. how spineless is he??! not only has he done whatever he has been doing but he ain't even got the balls to admit it. tell him what you know, add a few expletives of your choice and tell him to go. do not give him the opportunity to convince you that its 'not what you think' coz it IS EXACTLY what you think. you will get over him going a whole lot quicker than the long long period of misery and crushed self worth you will have to look forward to if you let him stay, trust me
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): End it.
Sorry, but that's all there is to do at this point. Don't listen to any excuses, etc, etc.
Just walk away.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (4 January 2011):
 He is planning to leave. Tell him that you know exactly what is going on and that you want him out of your life NOW!!
He is planning his future with someone else...don't make it any more painful for yourself by allowing him to hang on and lie to you. I only hope you don't live together and if you do, I hope you have something legal in place.
I am so sorry you are going through this...but you will survive!!
Good luck xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): What should You say to him? ''I'm leaving''Pack your stuff and go. You don't need him to confirm what you saw with your own eyes. There are e-mails professing love to another woman and he has also spent a weekend with her. You don't need anymore proof. Just leave.
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A
female
reader, Windbreeze62  +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Unless you are in an open relationship the only thing you can say is "Good-bye".
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A
male
reader, foolishsage +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Be honest with him. I'm not sure how you found out whatever info you found out, but ask him about those things directly - IN PERSON.
When backed into a corner, people will often fabricate stories, so best to ask in person where they don't have time to make up something potentially credible...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): What is there to say other than goodbye on your way out the door. are you waiting to see how he talks you out of his cheating so you can overthink yourself out of it too? Just give him all you know so he can work from there and talk you out of it so you don't have to keep finding out he'll lie without proof like he's been doing.
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