A
female
age
30-35,
*ediocreland
writes:My boyfriend and I have a lot of sex. Every night if we could. We were both eachothers firsts, so of course we're gonna have a ton of sex.For the past 2 or 3 months, he's been having a hard time getting and maintaining an erection, or even just finishing during sex. He's starting to get depressed over it, and its starting to become a downer for me too. Whenever he can't finish or stay hard, we'll stop for a day or two and then he's usually fine again, but last night hafter a 2 night break he couldn't even get hard, and he really wanted to have sex, so he got really depressed about it.He's 23, and had no problems like this on his own, and he did tell me he masturbated a lot before we dated and started having sex, but he never had issues staying hard. He has a temp. job, so sometimes he goes a week just sitting around at home if there's no work, so I dunno if that makes any difference for his preformance in bed.I guess I'm just wondering if this is due to us having too much sex, and he's just getting worn out, or if there's something we could be doing to help him stay hard and finish.
View related questions:
depressed, erection Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, happy140 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 We have periods of that; it is more common than any YOUNG man will admit! At 55 I have learned to accept it now. When I was in my 20’s and just married me also had the same problem. My wife was pissed!! It seemed I could stay hard and orgasm as long as it was oral or a hand job, I needed that EXTRA STIMULATION... Finally she understood it was not her there were a lot of reasons, work, life, and the unspoken pressure to be a man. How did I get over it, how did my wife end up handing it? Oral sex, she made sure I was always satisfied and told me she just wanted me to be happy. After about a month of this selfish behavior, I so wanted to make love to her that I found myself waking up and wanting sex, I guess that’s a stress free time and she was always willing. She had a rough time but as a woman she needed me to cuddle more than anything did and she let me know that. At first, when dating, it was “if you want san orgasm then f—me-(talk about pressure) or you don’t need or want it. That was so untrue. Men and women go though times when sex is just not desired, I did not say not wanted, I said not decided! Things always cum back around. We need to feel close to those we care about intimately such as our lovers. We just have to understand that WE may not understand right know but that does not mean they care less or want us less. Heck, he may have NO IDEA what the issue is (damn we are complicated!) but he needs you now as much as ever. Just work with him and remember, (we men LOVE this) you can also tell him you need an orgasm and do it in front of him. That shows closeness and is a big turn on. If your nervous just ask him, tell him to hold you while you do it (even if it is in the dark under covers). He will feel so much closer to you. Men, our problem is that we are supposed to be hard 24/7-we just cannot even though we tell ourselves we are, we have proven we are not.
A
female
reader, mediocreland +, writes (5 August 2010):
mediocreland is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell sometimes he can finish himself off after nothing comes from sex, more than often nothing comes though. But to my knowledge he hasn't masturbated on his own in a while since we're usually having sex lol.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): His libido may just naturally be around the 2 day mark. Many guys need it every day, many are fine with once a week. I was an every other day guy myself, even though I wanted it all the time, mentally. His job stress most definitely will affect his libido. Find things that make him happy and do them together. That may build back the sexual excitement.
...............................
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Can he masturbate and ejaculate still? If he can, then it means his plumbing is still working at least. If not, it sounds like a mental issue.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 He sounds to young to have erectile dysfunction..google it, it helped me understand. But the whole not finishing thats due to stress, or a chemical imbalance(my husband went to the doctor for not being able to finish yesterday). Just know that its not u, and it is good to not have sex everyday all the time, give each other some rest. If the problem persists after u guys have given it a break then he needs to make an appt with the doctor.
...............................
A
female
reader, almc  +, writes (5 August 2010):
There Is many different reason why he can't get it up, or stay hard,
Stress can do it for sure, not in the mood, sorry to say this but maybe your not turning him on anymore. But him stressing over it will not help him one bit. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 some men can't get an erection if they are too stressed out. if he's just sitting at hame and not making money then that could be stressful and cause him to go limp.
...............................
|
