A
male
age
36-40,
*lectric17
writes:Ok, in a nut shell, my girlfriend broke up with me and went to study abroad. On her return i went to her and told her how much i loved her and how i really felt. She had it in her mind that she was going to say no but now she is unsure. She still has some feelings for me. On my end, i was in quite a rut last year, being anti-social and quite introverted. After hours of talking it came down to the fact that she wants someone more outgoing and i am that person but she said i need to prove it to her somehow. So how could i put myself in a situation where i can prove to her that i am this outgoing and friendly person that she hasnt seen in a long time?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Even the most social ppl get a lil anti-social at times..it happens. ooo dance class, most guys dont want to do that...and karaoke didnt think of that get up in front of a bunch of strangers and serenade ur lady...takes a lot of guts. I love it!
A
male
reader, electric17 +, writes (6 August 2010):
electric17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the good answers! i should mention im 21 not 17 and i really am that outgoing person, like i said just stuck in a loop of anti-social behavior (due to smoking a lot pot, but ive stopped that). I think i am going to take her to a dance class and then karaoke to sing her our song. Sound good?
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 August 2010):
 In general, how is your personality? Are you introverted or extroverted? What you need to watch out for is what I call wearing the mask, which is to put yourself off as someone you're not. That's because it's not fair to her, or to you if you do. You may love her and want to be with her, but what benefit does being together bring if you are covering up who you really are. Sooner or later the mask begins to fall off, and you don't want her attached and fading away because you were hiding that.
If you were just in a rut, let her know to just give you a chance. The best way for her to see who that is, is by blindly being together. If you two just met and were attracted to each other, she wouldn't need proof before giving you a chance. It's the same thing here. Let her know to come back in without expectation, start over as if you two are new to each other, and the proof would show from your actions in the relationship.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
Before I start Im going to applaud u for breaking out of that shell, and telling her how u feel when she came back! Good for you. You know youre the kind of guy most women want, u can show change, improvement, and u admit ur feelings. U my dear are quite a catch! And your only 17? Just know u will make a woman very happy some day. Now, I love how u admitted her feelings and now she's confused, wasnt expecting that now wasnt she. That to me shows u changed admitting ur feelings, however she missed that part. I would remind her thats a change right there front and center. Im gonna go out on a limb on this one, every girl loves it when u can get along really well with her friends. Sooo if u really dont know her friends that well bc u were kinda shy then I would suggest u and her and 2 of her friends go out..Now if ur not comfortable with that, I know guys have their limits...Ask around see if there is a party going on this weekend..ask her if she wants to go..what better way to show ur outgoing than with a ton of ppl at a party? U can mingle chit chat with ppl, not too much of where u dont show her attention, def a lot of social action there. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, misspurple  +, writes (5 August 2010):
Ask her for a chance to prove yourself to her. Maybe you could get her to meet up with you and a couple of her friends and a couple of your friends and have a little social gathering then you can show her that you truly are an outgoing person. Take her to places that you like to go to and places she does just as friends at first and see how things go.. Hope this is a good help :)
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Ask her out more often, go to a movie, be interested in her activities, ask if you can join her when she wants to go somewhere, tell her about yourself and your daily activities.
There are so many things you can do together, there's no room for limited answers. You just have to release all that you were unable to express in the past, without losing your individuality and your "trademark".
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (5 August 2010):
 You are definetely making this more complicated than it needs to be! It's not a first date, Your her ex, so she knows what you're like as a person. And you just said yourself 'She wants someone more outgoing and I am that person'. If she's already said that, why does she need it proven?
Take her out, the cinema, dinner, a walk in the park.. It's not new territory so things shouldn't be awkward and nervous. She know's the real you, all you can do is be yourself.
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