A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This will seem like it's verging on a question I've seen asked a hundred or more times across the net, but bear with. Does size matter? I've read up on it enough to have my own thoughts on this, but it's still playing on my mind a lot.I've recently become rather obsessed with measuring the length and girth of my penis, especially since I made out with a stranger in a club for the first time last week (I'm 21) and it could probably have turned into a one night stand (first sex for me) if I hadn't been kind of stupid and went to look for another girl I had liked for a few months out of guilt instead of waiting for the girl who was definitely into me a bit longer when she went to the bathroom.Anyway. I'm somewhere between 4.5" and 5" in length usually. Below average, but only just. And 5" in girth, which seems to be average. It's not bad. I know that it passes as a totally average penis. Just looking at it, I can tell it's nothing great. But it's fine, I think. A mediocre one, really, but still. And I already know that I'm more than eager to focus on and perfect oral and the use of fingers etc. anyway, so it's not like I'm fully relying on it being amazing sexually. My real issue is just how likely it is to be a problem when I do become sexually active, which given my confidence rising considerably of late and me moving into the city with a group of friends already there next year, seems quite probable. I know 85% of women are pleased with their partners penis size, but are many girls in a one night stand situation likely to be cruel about anything less than 6"? What I mean is, whilst I know it's fine, is there a considerable risk that the girl from the club would have been put off once she saw it? I saw some girl on FB talking about how she has a handsome neighbor and would have a heart attack if she saw him naked... Does this mean he'd have to have something like 7" for that effect? The idea of being mediocre to look at is something I can cope with, but it's still a worry right now.This went on long enough. Unlike my... Sorry. But any proper discussion on this would be welcomed.
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confidence, my penis, one night stand, penis size Reply to this Question
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female
reader, youngandrestless  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 as has been said, your size is definetly not a problem, even though you may believe it is below average, its not a bad thing. All these guys who brag cuz they have such HUGE penis's never actually tell you the truth of it. A normal woman doesnt want a huge penis, in fact it hurts more than anything. My fiance is actually right about your size and he still hurts me on occasion, but the thing is i love the fact that he can go balls deep in, (excuse me if that was rude). And he can actually pleasure me better with the size he is than if he was bigger. trust me size really doesnt have as much to do with sex as people like to think it does. If you want some coaching on how to be a great lover.... thats a whole new conversation ;-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): I myself dealt with this when I was your age, and this was before enhancement creams and all that. The trick is to perfect what you do have. Use your assets, you have a lot of them (fingers, tongue, etc...just be safe though) also a lot of women have most sensitivity on the outside as well. Use what you got, and use it well, with confidence, and you'll be fine!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): Yes it does. For example my best friend was propositioned by a guy and he got his penis out And a condom and wanted sex, she changed her mind and gave him a blowjob instead because sh later told me that it was awkward because it was way too small and she didn't see how she could be turned on by it . However, to some girls it doesn't matter and especially if it was a one night stand
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): It isn't the size but how you use it.Be an attentive lover. Study foreplay technique. It's what you do before penetration that excites her.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 4.5 is not below average. Where did you gather your statistics? The average is between 3.9 and 7.9 erect. An no woman cares what the measurement is when flaccid.
You're average. Anything that is average works.
Given that you are an insecure on when it comes to your penis, I don't think a one night stand is your thing. And why push it, having a one night stand doesn't make you a man or anything.
In any case, few of us women have the ability to look at a penis and instantly judge it's size. Few of us even stare at your penis. Many think it is embarrassing to stare down there, or stare at a guy anyway when they're going to have sex. With so many women embarrassed about their own bodies, or shy, what they worry most about is what YOU will think of them. And in most cases they'll want the lights off. If they care about anything it'd be how great of a kisser you are, or if you take charge in sex. Women love it when a man knows what he wants.
Your penis size... uhm, don't think a one night stander will give a damn. Just remember to use a condom.
A last word, women don't care about penis size anywhere near as much as you guys do. If it makes us feel good it's all good. And size is irrelevant to that effect. If we say to someone "oh you have such a big one" it is rarely because we care about it, it's mostly said to give the guy an ego boost. Because we know that you care, even though we don't care ourselves.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): You have nothing to be worried about, believe me :)
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A
female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (25 May 2011):
Yeah okay penis size matters, but it's not all that matters.
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A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (25 May 2011):
 I would add to the good advice given above that women also have varying vagina depths. the average is 5 inches. that is the measurement from the vaginal entrance to the cervix (entrance to womb) but touching the cervix wont give a woman any pleasure. its all about the g-spot which is located about 1.5 - inches in toward the front of the pelvis. with experience it will come as instinct how to stimulate this g-spot. my point is that even a 2 or 3 inch penis can make a woman orgasm IF USED effectively. plus women have a whole host of insecurities about themselves and if anyone ever offends you then just say one of the girls breasts looks wierd and she has dirt on her teeth and she will feel just as bad as you do..
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A
male
reader, GRIFF TANNEN  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Well said cindy, well said... I was just about to write something but there is really nothing to add...
I'll try somewhere else and quick! before Cindy gets in :-)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Would a one night stand girl be cruel meeting a not particularly impressive penis ?
The answer is both NO and It depends.
No, because : would you be cruel to a girl that takes her stiletto heels off and it turns out she is shorter than she looked ? Would you be cruel to a girl that takes her push up bra off and reveals less cleavage then you expected ? Would you be cruel to a girl that, without her tight fitting jeans, shows a bit of extra fat on her stomach ?
No, right ? - First because people are generally much less mean than how our paranoia wants them to be . Second , because basically you want to get laid, and as long as you do, inch more inch less, who's counting.
It depends, though- because of course there may be exceptions. Your partner -for-the-night may very possibly be drunk, ergo inclined to be rude or tactless. She may be a just real bitch in everyday life. She may be into one night stands because she gets a power trip out of hooking up, and the more she makes you feel inadequate the more she trips. She might think that since you are only offering her your dick and not your heart, you might as well offer PLENTY of it. And so on and so forth.
So , basically, what I mean is, - your chances to get negative reviews is extremely ,extremely low. We can't perhaps totally sort out the chance of some unenthusiastic comment, but, ...what do you care ? You want casual sex, not lasting romance ; and if your self esteem is still so frail that you need to be sure you are gonna get a standing ovation , before you engage in sex,... my advise is : wait a little more for sex, until you feel less need for approval.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (25 May 2011):
 I've had more of these one-night stands than most. What you have sounds like a perfectly good package. Don't stress.
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