A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im finding recently that my work colleagues are becoming resentful of me.The 1st thing that happened was I got engaged last year and my boyfriend and I designed my engagement ring and had it made. I absolutly love it so when I showed it off at work and got lots of compliments except from this 1 woman who thought it was a "waste of money and time" getting a ring made and she couldnt justify the cost (she asked me how much it cost. I didn't mention cost atall).Then a few months later we were having a sales competition and the person who hit the most targets got a prize- I happened to win it and won some vouchers for a well known clothing store. Another colleague (who was just 7 sales behind me) quickly piped up when she saw what I'd won saying "I'm glad I didn't win- that shop is over priced and tacky etc.." Now I agree it is slightly expensive BUT the quality is good and I like the clothes there.Now to add more insult it was my birthday recently and my fiancé sent me a huge boquet of flowers and the 1st woman who was rude about my ring said that flowers are a waste of money and if her husband sent her some she'd be angry at him etc...Around the same time I got birthday money so I decided to treat myself to a Tiffany bracelet I had my eye on. A different girl i work wit then saw i was ordering it on the internet and she had to be rude by saying that the design I ordered was "common" and she would have opted for something more different. She is entitled to her opinion but it was how she said it- in a bitchy tone. I admit to being really happy with my ring and i did talk about it alot as it was special and I only plan to get engaged once! But I worked hard to win the vouchers. I had no idea my fiancé would send me flowers and I didn't boast about my bracelet -she saw over my shoulder I was ordering it.Whenever anyone else wins something or get flowers they are very complimentary and not negative. They are nice to me otherwise and we have a laugh and go to lunch but they just don't like it when something good happens to me.2 of the women are in their 40's so I didn't expect the attitude I got from them. It appears to be jelousy but I don't know why as they both have nice homes, cars etc..I'm actually dreading winning anything else or doing anything incase they criticise.Please advise as to what to say/do if they start again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): OP don't take this the wrong way, but I'm going to play devils advocate here.
From your side it does sound like petty jealousy all the other posters are probably right about that.
But then again they may see you as that one person who won't shut up about how great her life is whenever something good happens, you know what I mean? Always showing off the cool things she has rubbing it in other peoples faces. Always talking about her great fiancé and the amazing magical things that he does etc. I'm not saying you are like that but there is a chance that's how you come across to them, in those moments.
As you said they're pretty nice to you in all other respects, it's only really when something like that happens do they tend to sound a bit bitter. Perhaps they're jealous or perhaps when something like that happens you just go overboard talking about it to them, when they're just not the kind of people that want that kind of stuff shoved in their faces the way you might.
If they're nice people OP, then why not ask them if you sometimes come across that way. If they say that is the case then that's easily resolved, next time something awesome happens to you, you just smile quietly to yourself and say nothing unless someone asks. Then when you get home you can jump for joy with your real friends and family.
Or you could just remove that aspect by keeping your excitement about such things in check at work or until asked.
Again, I'm not saying you are any of these things, I'm trying to offer an alternative explanation as to why they might respond in that manner. I've worked in lots of places as I'm sure you have, there's always one person who can't help but show off their 'great life' to everyone, not that there's anything wrong with that but some people go overboard with it and it feels like they're shoving it in your face. Having said that there usually people that are also just jealous and bitchy, but if they're nice in all other ways then something tells me that's not the case with these people. Because people that are jealous or bitter of you usually aren't nice to you at anytime, in fact they'll usually try and ignore you or act shitty in general towards you.
A
female
reader, Smileypants  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Because you work with a bunch of jealous old hens!!
Just ignore it, and be nice otherwise. In the big picture of your life...5o you REALLY give a hot shit what these women think??
She'd be mad at her hubby for sending flowers...??...um yeahhhh sure!! if that's true, what a joy she must have been to her husband all these years lol
Just don't brag, be nice even when you have to fake it, and mentally dismiss their BS.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 May 2011):
I'm afraid it's just a case of petty jealousy. I always remember the quote by the actor Christopher Lee:
"In Britain, any degree of success is met with envy and resentment."
Sadly, it's not just Britain. But that pretty much sums your situation up. You've got what they haven't, and they don't like it. The next time someone complains about your flowers, just say "you're lucky your husband doesn't send you them", and leave it at that. They're just a bunch of jealous maids!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): Well who said that there are no bad people in the world.
Just be nice and be yourself. I mean they are just your colleagues not best friends.
Don't worry about this at all.
I agree with honeypie
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Let it roll of your back and "kill" them with kindness. Some people are just PETTY!
Just be who you are and let them stew in their own pot of jealousy.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Just ignore them. Its pure jealousy they are acting on. You have a wonderful fiance who loves you and you succeed in what you do. To anyone else, that's a life to be jealous of, they don't care about what it took to get there. That's why they criticize price, that's why they criticize how your fiance sent a bouquet to you because they can't criticize anything else.
Just be careful not to boast about it, be careful not to appear to be boasting about things. I know you have been thus far, just pay attention to how they look at all your things but don't let it stop you from enjoying what joy you have. The next time someone says anything, shrug it off and continue being friendly with them.
I hope that helps.
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