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I've been cheating on my wife because she won't blow me.

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 August 2009) 23 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, *.man writes:

Hi. my problem is i love blow jobs so so much but my wife doesn't like to give them (she says it hurts her mouth too much cos I'm quite big, which i don't think i am) i have even on a few occasions gone else where for them but would like to receive them all the time preferably from my wife. how can i get her to blow me more?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009):

I modded this question and the title was created by me, not the OP.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009):

From the anoymous poster that lashed out...

In response to:

A female reader, Sincerely Yours + ?, writes (19 August 2009)

Yes I have actually posted a few questions on this site. :)That's true that it could've simply been a typo. I hope it was.

However, if it so happened that it wasn't- and the poster of the question was feeling guilty about it after all the posts ticking him off for it and didn't want the cheating to be addressed but wanted the focus of the question to go back to just how to get his wife to blow him- then i think that post lashing out was definitely deserved.

Or even if it simply was just a typo- the guy was still considering the cheating on his wife and i was just putting out my thoughts and questions there to provoke deeper thought about the situation and possibly help.

I apologise to the poster of the question if my post seemed unfairly accusatory/harsh but if theres one thing i can't stand it's people who cheat on their partners/spouses. And in my opinion- even considering it is quite bad already.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009):

Anonymous poster, have you never tried to ask a question on this site? If so, haven't you ever notices where it tells you that the moderators will make a title for you if you choose not to?

Simple mistake. He made a mistake in his post, and the moderator titled it due to his typoe.

Prehaps you should recieve facts before you lash out.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009):

No offence man... (although this probably will be offending and I probably do intend this to be offending...)

... but why would you even title this post as 'I'VE BEEN CHEATING ON MY WIFE BECAUSE SHE WON'T BLOW ME' if you were only considering it? And even if you were only considering CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE, why?? Why not think about why it might hurt for your wife to blow you, why she doesn't want to, what you can do to make it hurt less, or make her want to? Why skip all that sort of thinking and go straight to the considering of cheating on your wife?

Ask yourself something... do you love your wife?

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (14 August 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntSome women do not enjoy giving oral sex to men. It could be a number of factors. Likewise some men don't like giving oral sex to women.

As they say, its an acquired taste.

The point is that she might have several hangups, or maybe you need to wash it or make it more appealing to her. If she thinks she will enjoy it more if its done differently or maybe develop some other technique, she might be more receptive.

The thing is, are you doing everything you can to make her happy? If she's happy with what you're doing for her and getting her off, she might not have so many reservations about giving you what you want.

If its a one-sided thing though, she's viewing it as a chore for which she gets nothing in return. Not fair is it?

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A male reader, G.man United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2009):

G.man is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yes im sure, i had just come in off a 12 hour night shif when i wrote that question, so wasn't fully with it

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009):

Looooooool

biiig difference.. ha. glad to hear it.

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A male reader, G.man United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2009):

G.man is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hi sorry i made a mistake with the question, i put i have even on a few occasions gone else where for blow jobs, what i meant to say is, i have even on a few occasions thought about going else where for blow jobs. sorry for this mistake, i have not cheated on my wife and wouldn't, but when you like something that much its hard not to receive them. i have read your answers and think the blow job toy is a good idea, i think i might try that one out after discussing it with her in doors 1st.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

You might as well come clean before she finds out on her own. You may think you are all clever and everything, hiding it from her, but eventually, she'll find out. Either way you will break her heart, but at least she can get on with her life a little sooner.

Think about it, you are throwing away your marriage for a lack of bj's. And yes, bjs do hurt. I bj my husband every once in a while and no matter what I have tried, its very uncomfortable and borders on painful. He doesn't demand it and I actually really appreciates it so much more when I do it for him. Now that's a man who has some respect and consideration for his wife.

Also, remember, many std's can be transmitted through oral sex, so for her sake, don't give her anything, she doesn't deserve it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

Ask your doctor if there are any operations you can get to remove the vertebra in your back which physically restricts you from giving yourself as many blow-jobs as you please.

If she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to. Case closed. Can't see why you'd take any pleasure in your wife doing something she doesn't enjoy.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (11 August 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntI hope she blows you off permanently but not before she gives you a blow upside your head. You are going to end up being a very lonely old man I'm a thinking.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 August 2009):

Honeypie agony auntDivorce your wife - buy a blowup doll, after all, that is all you seem to want from a wife.

She is most likely NOT lying when she tells you that her jaw hurts giving a BJ. Or maybe she is just tired of giving head. *shrug*

Like others wrote , you need to grow up and think with your OTHER head, not just the lower one. There IS more to a marriage then you getting a BJ - I know, SURPRISING EH?

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A female reader, cliffsgirl United States +, writes (11 August 2009):

I can agree with the wife mouth hurting been there done that. if she loves her man. she would give a good blow job. but it appears he is obsessed with it. it also seems as if he had a bj done by someone that done it right and he can't come down from that high! but you also has to satify your wife needs as well or she will be getting it else where. remember two can play this game.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

when your wife finds out about you getting your thrills from other women (i am guessing it is women ,right?) she ain't getting anywhere near your *ick.

but regarding her mouth hurting. she is not lying. i also experience pain during the act.

i think you are just greedy, that is all.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

As much as I tend not to agree with what other people say - blackman is absolutely spot on!

S

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

but why is this question all about you?

you want to recieve them all the time?

women aren't as horny as men!! maybe she wants stuff from you all the time but is too afraid to ask because you obviously don't really care about what she would like so long as you're getting pleasured well then that's ok.

you're what 36-40 years old?

i think someone needs to grow up! why would she give you a blow job now you've gotten it else where.

noted that it's not all the same woman whose giving you these blow jobs because guess what WOMEN GET BORED!

why should they have to pleasure you and get naff all in return?

this woman is a saint for putting up with you!

i can tell you something now leave her!

do her the biggest favor you've ever done and leave her!

show her respect and give her the chance to find someone who isn't so obsessed with his needs and cares about what she wants in her life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

I don't think you should cheat on your wife, just to recieve blow jobs.

Your wife does'nt like doing it, you should show her some respect.

Your wife will find out what you're up to eventually and that could be the end of your marrage. All because you couldn't control your urge for a blowjob.

I think you should focus on things you both like instead.

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A male reader, Beingblack United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2009):

Beingblack agony auntHow can I get her to blow me more? Wrong question.

The real issue is you. When are you going to grow up? You are acting like a spoilt little boy. Your wife is a human being, not a machine or a plaything. Respect her feelings. Sex is all about pleasure for both, not just for you. If she doesn't want to suck you off every day, so be it. Is should be her choice, not your demand.

How would you like it if she forced you to go down on her all the time? You might like it, but HAVING to do it when you don't feel like it, or having someone whinge and whine and moan all night if you didn't, can be a bit off putting, dont you think.

Get over yourself. If I were her, I would be thinking seriously about leaving you to find a real man who knows how to respect a woman, instead of putting up with an immature control freak.

You don't deserve her.

Seek help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

...try thinking about HER NEEDS. what does SHE love? and then give her everything youve got to fufill these needs even if you dont like it much. Then she might feel more like blowing you even if she doesnt like it much- if she sees that your giving as much as taking.

But then again... she probably WONT WANT TO seeing as youve CHEATED ON HER...

Its cheaters like you that i just cant stand.

I just hope you get what you deserve.

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A male reader, Perspicacious United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2009):

Blow jobs are great. But, so are plenty of other things.

You need to ask yourself why you are obsessing over this one act. If your wife doesn't like them then forget about it and find other things that you both enjoy instead.

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A female reader, Jolin Saint Lucia +, writes (11 August 2009):

Jolin agony auntactually if your problem is only a blow job thing, you dont have to cheat your wife. It looks like a shallow excuses to justify the cheating.

Yknow, if you think your problem is a blowjob..you actually can seek the solution through the sex toy. On the internet there are many sex toy can replace woman's mouth to do the blowjob. check japanese sex toy website, they usually have many kind of sex toy that you can't never find anywhere..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

If my husband was getting blowjobs from other women, I wouldn't want to put my mouth on your you-know-what either.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

Oh good greif honey where is your remorse?

Your wife deserves a man who respects her sexual boundries especially those that physically hurt her.

Tell her what you've been up to so she can move on and you can seek blowjobs over love whereever you please.

~Sy.

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