A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, this is for all of you, ive recently became part of ''Dear cupid'' and been reading all of these articles, written by guys, girls, of all ages and i just wonder so much of the time, how could a world as cruel as ours even exist?? where so many of us hurt, cry nd die in silence and despair. Its like im looking outside my window, i see life pass me by and i just wonder how could it be ... I find that in life one of the hardest phases we must all go through, is growing up.It's when you start to see hatred and selfishness shine throughout the souls of all those who surround you, people that you had even once looked up too. The world you once knew of, fades away, the world of simplicity and dreams. A new terrifying world appears in front of you, takes you by the hand and leads you to a dark roomIn that room shall lay the vilest of existences. You try to shut your eyes to this world, you try to reach out for that once precious sanctuary of yours, where you had once hidden away but it’s too late (...) You try once again to close your eyes to this world and run but this immortal existence has foray. Is true hapinnes just a myth, will nothing ever be okay??[Moderator's note: Please detail what specific experiences have disappointed you and triggered these negative thoughts... it would be more helpful to discuss real facts and not ideas and feelings that we can't associate to an origin or cause. There is more than dark rooms.] Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Yes it's true. The whole world is full of unpleasant things. Dispair, sadness, horror surround us and it's almost imaginable. But also, there's love, happiness, and sense of goodness and justice in this world, which most often goes unheeded. Darkness cannot exist without Light, just remember that.
When I was a young girl I used to be really negative. I prefered to be alone all the time and had a different way of thinking than most people. I felt out of place, like I didn't belong. From an early age I was exposed by the cruelty of the world. I experienced the death of my beloved grandparents. I felt unwanted by my other relatives. I never felt I had friends. I felt I was completely alone this whole world. I was also very egotistical. I thought I was smarter than everyone because I got the best grades in my whole elementary school. I felt often alienated by other people. I, for most of the part, faked happiness, faked joy, faked any sort of positive feelings, so nobody would ever worry about me.
Now, I don't even recognize that child. I learned to laugh, have fun, and just live the life to the fullest. I have also learned that no matter what happens, that there will be something good that will come out off of it. Many people can say that I finally look happy, and I am indeed truely happy.
The thing is that most people tend to forget happiness in the world when something bad hapens and just focus on the negative. From something good that will happen, something bad will happen, and vice-versa. The sad thing, though, is that we humans just focus on the negative. Just count on how many times they show on the news death,wars,crimes, bad people compared with all the good things that a lot of people have done. The negative stuff will outweight the good ones 5 times over!
And have you ever noticed on how someone will do something right and no one will notice but as soon as they screw up they will be punished? There are THOUSANDS of good deeds gone unnoticed in this world! But there are THOUSANDS more of bad deed that are spread around!
Also, you have to remember that this is a helping site for troubled people. You won't find people talking about how good their life is because then...then why would they come here if they didn't need help? I've also gotten like you, I also felt down for a time for looking at so many bad stuff that people here talk about (because it's just so overwhelming...and now I'm a very sentimental person) but then I realized that this site will always have people with problems because that's it's purpose.
If it this is in any way of importance, one of the biggest influences in my life was my boyfriend. It's incredible, but he was the person who made me feel happiness in my life, true happiness. I now look back in time and that little girl and think "Was I really like that?" I can't even believe it.
Now, I'm just going to tell you that the feeling of happiness is SO much better than feeling negative. I thought that what I used to be was what I would always be, but I was proven wrong. If dwelling in the darkness is your choice, I'm going to tell you upfront it's the wrong one. From someone who experienced the same thoughts as you do now, I will tell you that there's no feeling like being truely happy and that if you find someone who might give it to you, don't think twice and take it.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 My daughter is 11 and she asked me the other day why are people so horrible? We have been through a bit of a tough time with someone we thought was genuine but wasn't. But life isn't perfect and no one is perfect. I happen to think if you see some negative situations in life at a young age, it might well stand you in good stead for when you get older. I had the most fabulous upbringing by a mother i was very close to, and she protected us from a lot of bad things, i didn't attend a funeral or experience someone in the family dying until i was 20! And its a wake up call facing hurdles as an adult, when you haven't had to as a child.
You sound like a very wise person, you also sound like you have some good instincts in there. I dont know what to say apart from, always think the glass is half full not half empty, be aware that life wont always be perfect, but also, stay positive and smile! Most of the time we will have happy times (law of probability) but sometimes we will face hurdles. You will cope with them. And trust those instincts!
Life really is what you make it most of the time. The rest of the time, we muddle through. Because we have to! If that makes sense.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay then its not the end -
one of my favourite ever quotes, i live each day as it is, no things are never 'okay' i pretend to smile when deep down im screamin and cryin, i pretend everything is 'okay' but i know one day, things will be 'okay' so just hold tight and live each day as your last, things will look up one day x
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (5 September 2008):
 At your age i true felt life was a losing game and things were always bad and boring etc etc but trust me life does get better with age...and happiness is out there. You have the rest of your life to be happy but you have to make it yourself...friends, boyfriends, family all help in the process aswell and just living life to the max. But remember life is a roller coaster so you will have your down moments eveyrone does but they make us enjoy the good times oh so much more! Enjoy your life as we only get one chance!
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Well for someone your age I admire your maturity and style of writing - are you really that age? Or are you copying this from a book? Sorry if I got it wrong, it just seems soooooo mature. Congratulations if its true. Well you know it could be that you are just seeing things through adult eyes now. The world is not all rosy and pink as we might think then, but its not all bad either. How can we know good if we don't know bad? How can we know happy if we don't know sad? We have to experience everything to know it in our hearts. I can sit here and tell you what to do with your life, but how can you know it unless you get out there and experience it for yourself. I'm not you and you're not me, and yet we all are very similar. Thats why sometimes we can help each other. But each of us has our own experiences and our own perceptions according to those experiences. I think you've experienced something tough that has clouded the way you are viewing the world at the moment. It may help to speak to your doctor or get some counselling to help you see the truth of the matter. Its very important because these perceptions stay with us and form our character. Don't get stuck with stuff you don't need because you are wrongly perceiving something. It may cloud your judgement fo ryears to come. Anyway maybe you have a good point here - what about a site where we all went to with our joys and happinesses as well as our problems. Then we'd see the balance of happy and sad. Bet not so many people would go there though :)))). Good luck.
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