Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): There was a day when I was sure turning the other cheek was the adult mature way to exact my revenge. Deny them the coolness that is me and they will wilt when they realize thye have lost me as an outlet for their juvenile behavior.
Problem is that I was the only one who seemed to suffer. The people who engage in the kind of behavior that drives friends away are the people who just move on and find new targets.
So I am on the side of revenge. Maybe not actively seeking it out, but when Krama puts them in my sights somewhere down the line I am more than happy to puill the trigger.
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male
reader, Universe Man  +, writes (18 May 2011):
It is not worthwhile.
It is also not a waste of time in the sense that it is neutral or something.
It is actively harmful to your psychological health. When someone harms you in some way, you need to understand why they would do it. You need to recognize that if it weren't for your fortunate circumstances and emotional maturity, you might do the same thing to someone. And you need to pity them for not being such a mature and considerate individual as you are. After that, forgiveness comes naturally.
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female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (18 May 2011):
Depends how long term that person damaged you.
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reader, ben345  +, writes (18 May 2011):
The more you plan and scheme, the more pathetic it makes you. If someone has hurt you, you need to prove you can move on easily, even if you feel worthless at first. If you try to get back at them, they'll love he fact that you're wasting your time and effort doing so
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reader, ljhenhmla +, writes (18 May 2011):
I can speak from experience evil brings more evil. You can't let the bad things in life change the person you are. It will only make you more like the person who hurt you. best revenge is when they finally realize that what you've been telling them all along has come true.and it too late
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female
reader, belize +, writes (18 May 2011):
belize is verified as being by the original poster of the question There is saying goes'when you are digging a hole,dig two'...
Revenge can be bitter sweet! Getting your own back is not necessarily evil.
Thanks for all your repies
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 May 2011):
 "living well is the best revenge"
while a cliche I actually agree with this...
so... get a life, get happy, live well and know that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself and ignore the person you want to hurt.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 Revenge is actually an evil act. It will make you a bad person if you seek revenge. Besides, it doesn't result in much other than your personal satisfaction of knowing you screwed someone over. How much fun is that really?
Better to leave it up to karma to get revenge for you. What goes around comes around. You just got to sit back and wait for it.
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female
reader, belize +, writes (18 May 2011):
belize is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell it goes to show revenge can be bitter and sweet. I felt better when I did what I did I have no regrets, in fact I should have more at time - KICK HIM OUT!! In the long run its true, its best to move on. There's an old saying that goes like this ' when you're digging a grave dig two'...
Thanks everyone for putting your points across
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): "Is revenge really worth anything, or it is just a waste of time?"
It depends on the circumstances. Situations like someone sexually or physically abusing a family member or friend then revenge is my duty.
In relationships the best revenge if apathy.
"I suspected my partner of cheating on me years ago"
Suspected? So you get revenge on people if they "may" have done something wrong? So regardless of whether they have actually done something wrong, you go ahead and get "revenge" anyway, because you think they might? Sorry OP but that's childish.
It's not revenge when you base your actions on a suspicion, that's just being vindictive. You may want to rethink what you consider is acceptable circumstances for revenge or you're just punishing people for doing nothing wrong.
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male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 I have to concur with everyone else here. The best revenge is to move on and show that person they have no affect or control over you.I've experienced it first hand, and it IS the sweetest revenge of all.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 Still mantaining my opinion about revenge, but certainly, hats off to you for creativity and initiative :)
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reader, enimas  +, writes (18 May 2011):
Well you will feel good for a while but eventually will feel sad on what he/she have went through. In the end, you are the one ending up feeling guilty and responsible for your act. If no revenge at least you will be able to console yourself but by revenging, nothing happens... The best is to move on..
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female
reader, belize +, writes (18 May 2011):
belize is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhen I suspected my partner of cheating on me years ago. I sprinkled itching power over is penis, when he was sleeping. He was itching so much. I asked innocently if sometime was wrong why he was itching so much, it even suggested that that he goes to the doctor in case he might have some thing wrong with him! You should have seen the look on his face. I secretly was laughing so much at his discomfort. Yes revenge can be sweet!
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (18 May 2011):
 Total waste of time. energy and resouces. The best revenge is to not care any more.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): I agree its makes you feel better for a bit but at the end of the day it's not going to change anything...I want revenge on someone and I know the best way I can get it is by not showing them I don't care and moving on with my life. Just remember what goes around comes around and I believe that so much....karma is not nice!!
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (18 May 2011):
Waste of time.
It can give you a short, temporary high, but basically it backfires because it only keeps your energy and attention stuck in the past and over what went wrong, fueling your bitterness and preventing you from totally moving on.
The best revenge is.. not giving a fuck about what happened anymore.
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