A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is he gay? My boyfriend wants anal sex a lot, but I don't want to give it to him. He has a lot of male friends but is a "guy's guy" - athletic, sociable. But, he spends a lot of time with a particular friend behind closed doors and has even made sexual comments such as "shake that ass" and made pelvic thrusting movements saying "uhh, uhh". He claims to be straight and to love only me, and that he thinks of this friend as a brother. Am I being paranoid or naive?
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female
reader, yiddy09  +, writes (2 April 2009):
My best friend is straight, but acts really gay. I kind of understand what you mean. We always used to laugh about him being "gay" but one night he came out and told me in confidence he is straight and that it hurt when we called him gay.Some men are more open than other with their femine side and if its just the one man he acts "gay" around maybe they just comfortable to do that around each other, where as infront of other men he couldnt. He's told you he loves you so that should be enough.Hope this helps. Good Luck xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): This is a tricky one. A friend of mine lived with a guy for 10 years - eventually they became stale and a bit like brother and sister so they broke up. Since breaking up her ex has 'come out' as gay and my friend is furious - she thinks he tricked her during their relationship and wasted her time (even though they split up). Clearly he was comfortable living this double life - he'd have gone on like it for years as he truly did love my friend. I asked her whether there were any signs at all. She said that looking back now (hindsight is a wonderful thing) there was a definite 'awkwardness' if she left him in a room with just men. He also had mainly female friends (though put this down to his job). It transpires now that he is seeing a male friend he knew way back at university - its made my friend wonder if he was seeing him all along behind her back. I think you need to monitor the situation a bit longer. Perhaps invite this guy he is friends with around and see how they interact - body language will tell you a lot. His behaviour is not sounding particularly 'straight' but then if they are good mates he may be just having a laugh. Could you get this other guy on his own and say "XXXX(your boyfriend) thinks you're a great guy its so nice he's got such a good friend" and judge his reaction. I think you need a bit more info before you can decide - though don't ignore your instinct completely.
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A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (2 April 2009):
 This is, odd enough to say, normal behavior for some guys. Some guys will make weird and even homo-oriented comments to their male friends. It's just the bond that they share, as odd as it may seem. It does not, however, mean that he is gay.On the note of anal sex: as long as he's not asking to be the receiving party, then, no, this is also not an indicator that he's gay. Some guys like the idea of having anal sex with their partner; it's another way to connect, if you will.I wont get this quote right, but I read somewhere this:"The vagina is home and the mouth and anal are a vacation"Also, I think that if this friend and him were really gay and messing around you'd have a lot bigger problems on your hands. Mainly this friend and you fighting over your boyfriend because you'd both be fighting for his love and affection ;)
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A
female
reader, 198419were +, writes (2 April 2009):
Guys often like it because it's tighter... simple as that. I think you're being paranoid!
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A
male
reader, mondie +, writes (2 April 2009):
Many guys, especially sporty guys, behave in this pseudo-sexualised way with one another. It is an integral part of the male bonding process and usually has defined boundaries. Admittedly, these can be trangressed, but it is not a sign that it has if your boyf. is behaving crudely sexual with his mate, particularly if it is overt and being displayed. If anything were going on, they would tone that down, out of guilt.Many straight guys like anal sex. You don't have to give in to it, obviously, but it doesn't mean he'll then look to do it with his male mate. It's girls he seems to like, whether vaginally or anally. Of course, one can never know. I think you should just relax until something blatantly homosexual happens. I don't believe, from what you've said, that that has happened.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (2 April 2009):
 i think you are being paranoid hun!some guys just act like that because it's like a jokey way with them like some girls can be like that with there girl friends doesn't make them lesbian.just a jokey way and as for the anal don't worry all guys want to do that i've no idea why to be honest.bu that again doesn't make him gay.you're just reading a bit too much into it that's all.guys act like that because they like to have a laugh and joke around just beleive him when he says he loves you and only you.hope this helps :)if you need anymore just pop me a message :)
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