A
female
age
41-50,
*onfused1977
writes:Privacy or secrecy?? Just wondering in a normal relationship (married or long-term) do partners have private or secret emails or profiles? I have been with my partner for almost three years and he is adament that it is okay for him to have a MySpace, (Tagged, Facebook) accounts that are set to private. Do normal couples have private accounts?
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female
reader, crimson_kiss +, writes (3 April 2009):
 My man and I have our own accounts as well, but we do not set our stuff to private. What is there to hide? If he is keeping things private, there is a reason behind it. I would investigate the reason. Ask him straight out why he is hiding things. This issue seems to cause you to be very uncomfortable and I would tell him that. Maybe you and he can find a compromise to the situation. How about taking down all separate pages and having just ONE for the two of you combined? That way you will both have access to it at anytime and there by taking any doubts and fears you have away.
A
female
reader, confused1977 +, writes (2 April 2009):
confused1977 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering everyone... You know whats funny... is I already know the answer, I just don't want to accept it... haha. A little background on this that I didn't add to the original post. We both have Myspace accounts and we are friends, but recently he signed up for facebook and tagged and set his account to private. I have sent him numberous friend requests and he never responds. He tells me that he should be able to have accounts on his own and that I am crazy to think that normal married couples are complete open about everything. He tells me that those are his private accounts and I shouldn't worry. I have read his comments before on his myspace account and found him calling other girls honey, sweetie, ma, mami. I personally don't go around calling my guy friends honey, sweetie, daddy, or poppi... Anyways, Thanks again for all your comments!! And keep them coming!!! I really hope all your comments give me the strength to do what I need to do for me.
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A
female
reader, yiddy09  +, writes (2 April 2009):
Maybe he has it set to private so other people cant see.Why dont you join myspace or facebook and be friends with him this way you can see his profile and what people are writing. Although this seems like you are checking up on him if he is not doing anything he shouldnt there shouldnt be a problem but if he reacts, then maybe he is doing it to meet other people. I am friends with my boyfriend and do get a little jealous when girls comment but he does have girl friends so i can understand. Also my friend and her boyfriend split up over facebook because she got jealous and he wouldnt stop talking to the other girls. Just keep this in mind.Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, keepitreal03  +, writes (2 April 2009):
Couples do and sometimes they're private so they have control who sees it but if u can't view it and he won't show you?? Red flag. My space gets so many men and women in trouble a lot of secrets are made there. Me and my boyfriend of 5 years don't have one. I had one for 2 weeks it was dumb only cause ur meeting new guys saying can I get to know u. Its for single pepole I think. Emails to females are like texts to me. So there is no point. Ask him to get rid of it and see what happenes
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 April 2009):
Both my husband and I have accounts but we both know about each other's stuff.
I don't think my husband has ever seen my myspace but knows it exists. We are friends on facebook and he reads the public entries on my livejournal sometimes.
It comes down the the motivation really. If he has something like a diary, then yes, it should be private, and he should always have a place where he can sit and rant about your awful habits haha. We all need our own little space.
If you think he is using it to meet new people and is keeping THEM secret then you have problems.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (2 April 2009):
 everyone has facebook or myspacethat's nothing to worry about.just keeping in contact with people.so yeah i guess it is normal really.facebook is just like catching up with people same as myspace.its like a personal blog in a way just to let people know what you're up to and stuff.and they are probably private to stop random people adding him or looking at his profile.
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