A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi my name is Sam this is the second time i come for addvise on the same relationship. my previouse question was answered with appreciation. Well i,ll start by saying that there is much to say but i will keep it short. I have broken up with my girl 4 times, we are currenly seeing each other right now after the biggest seperation we,ve had, four months. I'm hitting myself in the head constantly with this girl,i feel like i am digging myself deeper in a hole and I'm very nervous and anxious all the time. first i got her a job right next to mine now i helped her get an apartment next to mine. Now this is a girl who i don't plan to marry but i enjoy the sex very much , which is why i keep on coming back to her. Was it right to get this girl on her feet and keep her close to me even though I'm going to break up with her again ? confused Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): This reminds me of that song...Ahhh Leah, here we go again..I can touch you, but I don't know how to love you...
There's a name for guys like you, p***y whipped. Really, it's time to grow up some, this limbo isn't good for you, and you'll be glad you ended things. You'll be free to find Real Love, and it's so much better.
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (6 March 2009):
 If she knew that you and her are simply FWB and she is fine with it, you woulf not be cominy to this site for some insights, would you?
If she didn't know, obviously you need to follow what other aunts have said: tell her, don't lead her on.
If she didn't know and she got mad at you, well then, she'd probably classify you as one of those men who think with their "d**k" LOL (sorry, can't help it. Must be because it is the full moon or something)
OK. Enough said.
Cat
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A
male
reader, philipgifts +, writes (6 March 2009):
 You shouldnt pull someone a long just b/c the sex is good.Brake up with her,and find someone els.You may even wont to move-out afterwards,so that disire isnt there,and dont tell her where you moved to.Go and find someone els,move on and dont do the samething,for future reference.Each mistake we make its to grow from,or els we wouldnt go forward in life,just stay in one place.Thats what your doing,let her go and learn from this.
If shes still asking you back,and your going back to her, maybe you should tell her our relationships just sex to me and nothing will come to it.Then both of you can move on.BUT thats the last resort,like in 2 months down the line,your still going back to her,last resort.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): You're definitely a nice guy, just doing the wrong thing. Please do the right thing and let her go. Don't be selfish by keeping her around just coz the sex is good, it's not fair or right.
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A
female
reader, ohdear1212  +, writes (6 March 2009):
no its not right,you shouldnot led her into something and just brake up with her again, its un-fair for both the girl and you, you should move on find another girl not just for sex and keep her close but your right sex is good.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (6 March 2009):
 You know that you wouldn't be writing in here if you knew in your heart that it was okay. What you are doing is tantamount to using her solely for the sex, because you have stated that you know you aren't interested in a future with her. Do the right thing and be a mench - you know exactly why you are confused! The little angel on your right shoulder got clobbered by the devil on your left shoulder when all the blood rushed out of your head at the thought of sex without commitment. You know that at some future point, you will pat yourself on the back for coming clean and letting her go and find someone else who will care for her the way she deserves. Hopefully, you'll meet that person for yourself after giving up this dalliance too! Best of Luck!
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (6 March 2009):
 Let her go. You are wasting her time by playing this cat-n-mouse game with her. Unless she knows you are with her mainly for the sex and is ok with it, I would break things off with her as gently as possible.
This isn't fair to her to keep putting her life on hold just because you need to get off. Give her her life back, and start your own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): I was with a girl whom I liked, but did not love, even though the sex was amazing. We both agreed to that. It wasn't until I met someone else was I able to move on from this talented lover. I still miss the sex, frankly, but I also felt like I spent too much time with her instead of moving on. Did I say I still miss the sex with her? (wimper). It's hard... no pun intended... when the sex is great.
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A
female
reader, jumpsuit01 +, writes (6 March 2009):
 I know this is not what you want to hear but no. It's not ok. If you have no romantic feelings for her, your just leading her on, and as you said digging yourself a very deep hole. First of all you should tell her that your only interested in the sex, yes it will hurt her, and yes she will cry, but you need to let her know. Second, your lucky she takes you back after 4 times...thats a bit much so
1. Tell her exactly how you feel
2. let her cry and give her space
3. then see if she is ok with just a sexual relationship
4. if shes not leave her alone and move on no matter how good the sex is.
Its not right to lead her on.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): You are not responsible for her happiness and well being, she's the only one that can do that.
You're using her for sex, and trying to make yourself feel better about it by saying that you're helping her.
If you don't love her and see no future with her, then let her go so that she can find someone who really wants to be with her for more than sex. Stop wasting her time.
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