A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is marrying a non promiscuous girl a rarity in todays world. I am a virgin man looking to marry a virgin or someone with very little sexual experiences. Is there a possibility that this may happen or should I not care about this. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): The past shouldn't matter.
And neither should a person's race matter. Or their wealth. Or education. Or physical attractiveness. And we should fall for who treats us well, not who is sexy but a jerk or an abuser. Etc.
But romantic love is not like that. It involves a lot of selfish motivations and trying to personally be happy as possible. It's not about fairness to the rest of the world.
Go for whoever you want.
A
female
reader, lovexlikewinter7 +, writes (7 March 2011):
I understand the religious and moral weight of being a virgin. And yes, they do exist, I'm sure you could attend some sort of religious social group or religious dating site for assistance.
But remember that the aspects of someone's personal life sometimes has very little reflection on their personality. Look for someone who is a good match, since these days lasting marriages are as rare as virgin brides.
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A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (6 March 2011):
 I think if you limit your search to girls that are religious, you will find plenty of them in their early 20s. But as has been said here already, while it is understandably a desirable thing to find a wife who is a virgin or who has limited experience, it has to be balanced with everything else. To make it a deal-breaker by itself alone is dangerously short-sighted.
I think it is worthwhile to ask yourself why you want this so much. Is it because of religious beliefs? Is it because you want the knowledge that you were her first and therefore you will always be special?
I want the same thing, and I have realized that it's because I believe that someone who is promiscuous with sex, is generally unable to form deep and caring relationships with individual people. However, this does not hold for people who had sex in the context of long-term committed relationships, nor would I hold it against someone who went through a dark period of promiscuity but has changed their ways.
Your reason may well be different. But I think it is worth exploring.
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A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (6 March 2011):
This is interesting, FOX News, as sensational as they may be, just had a study discussed the other day that revealed that the average 25 year old woman surveyed (sample of 6000) had 15 sexual partners. Now obviously self reported results are skewed quite often, but if women even over reported then that leaves more questions. (why would they perceive more partners as desirable) With the increase in women's rights has also come an equally meteoric rise in female sexuality.
I understand what you're saying, but If I hadn't been my girlfriend's first I'D have had a hard time finding a virgin girlfriend, and I'm only 17. Growing female promiscuity is really becoming a big issue.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): Yes it is possible for you to find one, but remember that you should also look at a person as an individual. You have to find a virgin that is compatible with you because even if she is a virgin you may noy be suitable as a couple. So yes, do find someone who is a virgin if that is what you want but also look at how you both are committed to making a good relationship and a shared commitment. Because she is a virgin does not necessarily mean she is a nice girl, she may be very judgemental about people..holding others in contempt as she feels they are beneath her. That is self righteousness and that is also destructive and not good for a realtionship. Well done on keeping yourself. I hope you find what you desire but remember that while you have taken the first step in restraint, a relationship still needs to be worked out or else they disintergrate (I was reading about a woman who had only ever been with her husband and after about 30 year of marriage cheated on him. She deeply regrets it but a lot of circumstances led to her error)...Just because you are a virgin does not guarantee a reward of a perfect relationship but helps in training your restraint and self control which you would still have to maintain when you start having sex in a committed relationship....Keep it going, you are on the right path ..Good luck
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A
female
reader, NatalieLeanne  +, writes (6 March 2011):
it is possible, but i think you may need to look at the bigger picture.you "wife's" past relationships should not be a big thing in your life.and it shouldn't matter if she has or has not had experience with other menyou should only marry someone if you are truly in love with them.
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A
female
reader, Godly Gift +, writes (6 March 2011):
 I think this is very possible you just have to know where to look. Im looking for the same thing in a man and feel as though it will be a little harder but its a journey worth takin to find the one you love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): It is very possible I believe you just have to know where to look! I am looking for the same thing in a man which I think is a little harder to find but its a journey worth taking to find the one you will fall in love with. So keep looking there is someone out there thats gonna be what you want.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): I think sex before marriage would be ok if it was only in a serious relationship. You'd probably find it hard to date someone who had a lot of one night stands for example. I don't think it's a deal breaker if you find the right one, I mean would you expect her to loose her virginity to you? And then if you broke up you'd consider her less worthy cos shed had sex?
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (6 March 2011):
As I write in another question today. Don't let other people tell you how the girl you want has to be. Yes, it's always possible to find a virgin. Of course, the age is everything when you come to virginity. And the chances of finding one go down as age goes up.As CaringGuy told you, just don't put too much emphasis on it. And if you care about this that much, then look for a virgin with no sexual experience at all. Otherwise you will freak out over the smallest sexual detail.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): yes, at your age definitely. After you get about 25 in years, it becomes less possible and then you have to look at if she is still a virgin for religious or moral reasons or have problems that prevent her from forming normal relationships. It becomes trickier the older you get.
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A
female
reader, auntyR +, writes (6 March 2011):
I personally think it will become harder for you as you get older to find a virgin lady or inexperienced lady. But if you meet somone who you end up falling for will it really matter if she has had sex before? If you are worried about not knowing as much, don't be. Just make sure you are honest.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (6 March 2011):
 I'm a virgin male, at 27 years old now, and while I was in your boat (and still would like a girl with smallish experience), I can say that when you fall in love, knowing that you're not the first just doesn't matter anymore. I nearly married a girl that had been with men before me, but I didn't care. She loved ME, and I loved HER, and everything else just wasn't important.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): Yes it's possible in your age range, you need to look in religious or social organizations for women who have the same wish as you. You need to be clear with yourself why you want this also.Keep in mind that virginity or lack of it is not a predictor of what will happen in a relationship. I know of one arranged marriage where both were virgins until the wedding night. It was a total disaster which included mishandling of money, a gambling addiction and cheating with prostitutes. They're still married but they haven't lived together for years.
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A
female
reader, eagle101 +, writes (6 March 2011):
I'm still a virgin, there's nothing wing with that. I think a girl should honestly wait for their right guy, but not at a young age. I do agree with CaringGuy in his second paragraph. So...I mean I am waiting and I'm 16.
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A
female
reader, eagle101 +, writes (6 March 2011):
Honestly, I'm planing on being a virgin until I'm married. I'm 16 and there are a lot of girls I know that are not virgins. I know im not the only one st my school who plans on being a virgin. (this doesn't mean I'm hideous and I can't get a boyfriend, I think I'm okay looking.) I wonder too, if there is such a guy who is not so experienced and is waiting for the right girl. So don't worry too much. You'll find someone like the girl you seek. If the girl really cares, she'll respect your views. Hope this helped!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (6 March 2011):
 It's possible. But as you get older it's going to be less and less possible. I suppose you need to decide if that's the trait that will matter the most to you in your future marriage and life together. If virginity is something you feel will ensure a satisfactory marriage, then there is no reason you should not pursue a virgin. However, you may find that the virgins you find do not fulfill other important things that you hope for in a wife - someone who is honest, kind, thoughtful, creative, intelligent... whatever it is that you really value in a woman. So I suppose you just need to spend some time really thinking about what it is that you need to be in a satisfying marriage and seek out someone with those traits. If virginity is on your top 3 list, then I suppose you should try to find a virgin... but they are few and far between, especially as you get older. Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 March 2011):
You'll find there are a lot of girls out there who are still virgins at your age. I heard the figure in the USA for girls in their late teens and up to mid 20's is roughly 30%, so they are out there. Just remember not to place too much emphasis on finding a virgin. Just because a girl is a virgin doesn't mean she's a great women. And just because a woman has lost her virginity doesn't mean she's a bad woman. There are a lot of other things to take into account as well as virginity.
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