A
female
age
26-29,
*rtsyGirl
writes:Hello Agony aunts and uncles! I have a quick question for you all.I have noticed lately that I don't have any real friends outside of school. The only person I do hang out with is my Boyfriend, and I'm fine with that because he's the only person I want to hang out with. I just want to know if that's weird or bad. I can make friends easily, and can be social when needed, I just don't reach out to people to go to the movies or grab a icecream or sleep over.Also I don't know if this matters, but even though I do hang out with my boyfriend almost everyday I always encourage him to go with his friends because I know he enjoys that and I don't want to take him away from his buddies.So is it bad that I don't want to be around people outside of school, and that I isolate myself basically from people?Thanks!Molly Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BeautyOfTragedies +, writes (13 June 2011):
 In that case your just anti-social and thats not a bad thing . Just means you enjoy company of mainly you and your bf .Its not at all so bad so my answer no its not bad to not want the company of friends and certain ppl so dont worry.(:
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): I understand how you feel, I'm in exactly the same situation. I'm 19 and I've never been one to have close friends as such, though I can be perfectly sociable with acquaintances and suchlike when need be. My boyfriend is pretty much my best friend; I don't feel the need to confide in anyone else and he's so much fun to be with. Since we don't get to see each other often (about once every 2-3 months), I spend most of my time alone but it doesn't bother me - I'm independent enough to make my own entertainment, and I get the impression you might be similar in that respect. I don't think that not feeling the need to be around people is a bad thing in itself as long as you never lose the ability to interact with others when necessary or, taken to extreme, develop a social phobia of some sort. From everything you've said though I don't think you will. So enjoy your relationship for as long as it lasts (and I hope it will a while yet!), remember to keep on giving your boyfriend breathing space and everything should work out fine. Good luck and take care! :)
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A
female
reader, ArtsyGirl +, writes (11 June 2011):
ArtsyGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone but I don't think you are understanding me in all aspects.Before my boyfriend I DID NOT hang out with my friends except for school. Before my boyfriend I DID NOT go to movies, sleep over, grab a bite to eat or anything. Everytime I go out with friends I get stressed and just want to go home. I was just saying the only person I don't feel like this around is my BF.If my boyfriend leaves me I still won't want to hang out with friends. That's just how I've always been.I'm not asking if hanging out with my boyfriend all the time is bad, I'm asking if not wanting to be around people outside of a school/work/professional environment is bad. I don't even like being around family that much unless it's a important event like holidays.
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A
female
reader, BeautyOfTragedies +, writes (11 June 2011):
IT is normal to always want to be accompanied by your bf due to the fact you care for him so much.Also its a good thing that you tell him to spend time with his friends but i also believe you should take that under consideration.After a while being constantly with your bf may cause issues later its best to have some time to your self with friends so that case he wont be all wrapped up in your world .Also i dont intend this in any harsh or rude way but if something were to happen between you and him who will be there to catch you when you fall if not your friends then who else at times its best to have friends when those sort of situation arises so that you have someone to talk to.So my advice go out with friends and enjoy yourself maybe even with that time apart from your bf may cause you two to just miss each other more and keep you stronger. good luck(:
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (11 June 2011):
 Yes it is bad. You need a good balance of friends and family and hobbies to keep you grounded when things are good between you and your boyfriend, and you'll need it even more should the relationship end. Never make a boyfriend your whole world, it's not healthy for either of you and puts way to much stress on the relationship. One person alone can not meet all your needs indefinentely.
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A
female
reader, GG96 +, writes (11 June 2011):
Yes. Its great your so close to your boyfriend, but if and when you break up (Your young. It'll happen) you will be crushed and have no one to talk to. Be friendly and outgoing, and your future bffs will come to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): There's a very thin line between love and obsession. Don't cross that line. Love is something that makes us love ourselves more, love people around us more, and love things more. It's a positive magic sort of thing. Obsession, on the other hand, isolates us from the society around us, and revolves around the person / thing subject-matter of our 'feeling'. This is far from being healthy, and always leads to undesired results.
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A
female
reader, ArtsyGirl +, writes (11 June 2011):
ArtsyGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's not how it is, I was like this before my boyfriend. I never hung out with people before I had a boyfriend. Then I got a BF and he's the only person I hang out with. All my other friends I only hang out with at school, and it has always been that way. Sorry I was unclear.
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A
female
reader, Babyyyb +, writes (11 June 2011):
Yeah I'm in the same boat I use to have tons of friends but when me and my boyfriend started getting close I didn't wanna hang out with anyone but him cause no one is as fun as him so it's normal for him to be the only person you wanna hang out with cause I'm the same lol
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female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (11 June 2011):
 It isn't necessarily bad, depending on the situation but it can become bad very easily. There's a fine line between spending all of your time with your boyfriend and both of you being happy to you suffocating him by loving him too much and, in turn, losing the only person you want to be with. Maybe reach out to one or two other people because, like others have said, boyfriends can come and go (not saying that he will, but you don't want to be completely alone if he does, right?).
Plus you may just be in the honeymoon phase. When you spend ALL of your time with one person you quickly run out of things to talk about... I know from experience. Sooner or later you won't have anything to say to him because you won't have any new information to share because all you do is see him!
The key to a happy and healthy relationship is balance. It's not bad that you want to spend so much time with him (it's very good) especially if he reciprocates those feelings. In fact, if you keep that yearning to be with him but limit how much you do actually see him you'll end up cherishing the time you are with him even more!
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A
male
reader, vendet +, writes (11 June 2011):
yes it is bad you well lose tuch weth your frinds and if he dumps you you well have lostsuport and frends so you well be even sader.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 June 2011):
 Very bad. Boyfriends come and go , what will you do if you and your boyfriend part ways ? Will you go to all that people that you have neglected or ignored for months or years and say " hey here I am, let's be friends now that it's convenient to me " ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): Love is amazing, it kinda makes you forget the world around you.
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