A
female
age
,
*razyKnittingLady
writes:my husband and i have been married almost 2 years, together for 4 1/2. about a month ago he announced he wanted a divorce. apparently he found the "love of his life" a woman that had been his first fiance, 27 years ago. i was unaware that we were having problems and this has hit me like a ton of bricks. my question is...do i stick to my gut feeling and stay here (we are still living together) or do i cut lose and run for the hills. i love him, he said he does as well, just her more. i feel it is too soon in their relationship to really know how it is going to go. i love him, don't believe in divorce and wants to go to counseling, he won't go unless i move out..i will not be bullied...willing to move forward. please help
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Hi,
Pack his bags and tell him to go. He is the one that wants out of the relationship, so let him have the problem of finding somewhere else to live.
Dont! Whatever you do let this man bully you, into giving up your home. What a cruel and callous bast***. And I am sorry to say this, but he is probably telling you he loves you as well, to keep his options open.
Throw the bugger out and move on honey. This man does not deserve you.
XXX Be strong
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): How cold and cruel can a person get? He didn't even let you down gently. You should put the two wasted years of marriage behind you and be grateful it wasn't longer. Move on to find someone who will put you above all others and be glad you did. I had a similar experience of being in love with a man who had been widowed for six years and claimed she was the love of his life and always would be which meant I would always be second best. I found this absolutely sole destroying and rejected his proposal of marriage.
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (30 July 2007):
Hi! Sweetheart: Go with DJ8433 His advice is just what you need. And no way do you cut and run. the house is just as much your's as it is his. So you stay, and if he says the relationship is over,let him get his butt out and go live with his first fiance. As for love, Don't think he would know what that was. If Love were a max-truck and it ran him down. He must be thinking with his D--k and not his brains,but then lots of us men go throgh that phase of the donkey looks greener on the other side of the fence. Hang in there,okay. But let him get his butt out of your life, if that is what he really wants. And remember he's just like a bus,You may miss him, but another bus, a wonderful new Partner, will come along.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): You know what. He doesn't know what he wants. He's clueless. He thinks that she will be some Saviour to all his pains and sorrows but she is just a woman. She has the same emotional needs, the same wants.
He is just a coward and self serving so why do you want such a selfish a hole in your life who could,while being married to you, cheat and establish something with her?
He is dishonest, untrustworthy, insensitive, selfish...
If he is telling you he can't be happy with you, why fight it? He's already determined there is nothing you can do to change his mind.
Let the a hole go.
Get Strong, get smart, love yourself.
best wishes.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (30 July 2007):
 When someone in a relationship with me asks me to leave, I leave. I don't understand how you can interpret what he has said any other way. I would tell him he needs to leave, after you hire a lawyer, and use his money to do it. If you wanted, you could be very deceitful here, pretend like you're complying, just enough time to get all your legal ducks in a row. He will be playing on your sympathies to get you not take him to the cleaners. You could also just walk away, but think about the consequences you're paying for a failed relationship, and the consequences he's paying. Be fair to yourself.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (30 July 2007):
 Let me get this straight. Your husband declares his undying love for someone else and wants you to move out?
You may not want divorce but you will have to consider the possibility. It's probably time for you to see a lawyer and start the proceedings to split up the assets, if only to put your husband in his rightful place. He is going to be a jerk about this divorce so be prepared. Good luck and take care.
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (30 July 2007):
 move forward. find someone who will love and need you because your,e you! it will not be as hard as you think! you sound well grounded - yeah it won't be easy but what he.s saying is that you're second best- you don't wanna go there girlfriend!
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A
female
reader, Unique1 +, writes (29 July 2007):
Hello, that must be so hard on you. One of the worst things in life is to love and give your all and not receive the same in return. I was in that situation before and will never forget it. If you want to move on, for your best- you have to leave. Better leave now than later. If he says he loves her more-you dont have anything to do there anymore. Even, if you stay, sooner or later it would eat you up inside and you will start having issues because you will always remember that he sais he loves her more. My dear, even though this sounds mean and hard, but ask yourself if you want to be with a man that loves another women more than you or do you want someone to love you and you only, like you love him?You know the answer!Good luck, i know how hard it is!
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