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*up1234
writes:my ex told me she no longer loves 4 days ago, iam deverstated,iv not eaten or gone to work iv not been out of the house, and last night i was toil she has been seeing someone befor we split,all i ever done is love her i just can not stop crying, please help me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Im glad your going back to work...it's a positive step and will bring some routine to your days. You might feel like your dragging your feet through cement at first but keep going foward.
You can also post your feelings here for non judgemental support and let us know how your doing.
Big hugs
AE xxx
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reader, pup1234 +, writes (16 October 2010):
pup1234 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks everone for your advice,i moved away as soon as we split closed my facebook a/c and change my email and my phone
i dont have anyone to talk to with moving 20 miles away
thats why i came on here
will go back to work monday
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reader, AuntyEm +, writes (16 October 2010):
All previous answers give good advice but it interested me that the guys think you should shake yourself up quickly, knock down the feelings of sadness and live life in the fast lane!!!
It's a male thing to not acknowledge sad and upsetting feelings..'It's not manly to cry' an all that crap, but denying what you feel, developing a hard bitten edge could make you embittered towards new women you meet.
I cant tell you the amount of men I have met who are so in denial of their pain that they have suffered in past relationships, that they assume all women are the same and are never to be trusted again. This drives people to treat the opposite sex superficially and no good can ever come of that!!
You are suffering badly at the moment and you have good reason. Break ups are the loss of all percieved future hope. My advice would be to confide in a good friend Bloke or girl, whichever you prefer) get those feelings off your chest and accept that they are natural reactions to a body shock.
Take time to get yourself back on track, be good to yourself and eat well. If you find your getting depressed, get a mild anti depressant from your GP, this can help you deal with the 'desperate' stuff. Dont hold back the tears darling, they are very important to release the tension and never feel bad about releasing that emotion.
Try not to get into another relationship too soon, it can take a full year to recover from a lost love and you owe it to yourself and your next love to completely clear the decks before you embark on a new relationship.
You most definitely are not alone, this site is the conduit for thousands of broken hearted people to declare their grief over lost love, so reading others stories and experiences will let you know that its a normal part of life. Try not to contact your ex, she sounds like she cannot be trusted anymore so you need to let go.
It's happened to me and I did recover, dont let it destroy you because life's not over until the fat lady sings!!! xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): HI. I am really sorry you feel like this. :o( DO what ever it takes to get over this. If yu need to stay in, and sleep and cry .. just do it. Also , have you thought of visiting your gp? maybe they could help, and you could get some time off work, and time to heal and recover which is what you need right now. I totally understand how you feel, as I am going through the same thing. I hope you have some nice freinds around to support you?
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reader, shania +, writes (16 October 2010):
 Heartbreak sucks, doesn't it? Its like a form of grief and it hurts like hell but you will get through it.My advice to you is to stop all contact...no emails...no phone calls..no texts or standing outside her house in the pouring rain.You dont beg her to come back to you.Now 2 things can happen,since you have disappeared off the face of the earth....your girlfriend could start to miss you and realise in time that its you she still wants or she doesn't miss you and carries on as usual with her life.
One way or another you will eventually find out but until then please dont make yourself ill...there is plenty more fish in the sea...people have survived heartbreak...trust me...iv been there....who hasn't?
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reader, Ricemonster  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 You have to realize that in any relationship, giving does not equate to receiving the same. It simply means you've been giving. If they reciprocate, it means they recognize your generosity to some level and over time, the more you give, the more they will feel obligated to giving something back to you - if they choose to stay in a relationship with you. Mind you, this is a simplified perspective to give you an idea of what's going on.
Know this: if she was seeing someone before you two split up, it was most likely she was either A) unable to break up with you before, fearing how you would react and/or B) she was using you as insurance, in case the other guy doesn't work out and/or C) she was trying to work out things with you, but so happens that the other guy seemed to be better suited for her. Ultimately, if your relationship with her was strong enough, nothing can come between you two.
As the two posters previously said: you must bring yourself off the ground and fill in the void left over from your relationship routine. I know this can be hard to do, especially if you lack the sort of close friendships that would help you get out of this rut, but if this is indeed the case, you have to find a way to motivate yourself out of this void.
Try to do things differently. Don't go to the same old places you went with her before. Take on a new hobby, join a group/club. Stop sitting behind the computer, listening to old songs that make you feel worst. Stay active - physically and/or mentally.
TIME and experience will make things better. Also, having an open mind helps greatly. Don't forget, your life may be speckle of sand, but if you peer out your window, there are 6.8 billion other people and a whole universe out there.
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reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 I agree with whiteelephant. you have to live your life in the fast lane. you are what makes your life exciting.everybody else is windowdressing. that may sound a bit harsh but it doesn't mean you can't appreciate and be nice to other people but don't let them define you.
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reader, whiteelephant  +, writes (16 October 2010):
I'm sorry you split up but STOP BEING A PUSSY. don't wallow in your self-pity. its an addictive and vicious cycle, you will never get the things or women you want in your life like that.
start eating, start working out, start talking to other girls and realize that
"The reason you haven't felt it is because it doesn't exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons. You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one."
-- Donald Draper from the show Mad Men
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): It is natural to feel this hurt after a breakup, but you are not doing yourself any good staying home as it will make you dwell on it. Do some things to take your mind off her, even if only for a short while. Gradually you will feel better.
You are not alone, this happens to a lot of people and they eventually move on.
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