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How do I ask the shy guy out?

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Question - (16 October 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age , *ina Ranson writes:

question dear cupid i meet this very shy man at my sister's party i was wondering how to ask him out. a friend told me he has not had many girlfriends and very inexperienced with women i was wondering how to ask him out for coffee or tea. he looked very nervous when talking to women always looking away from them.

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A female reader, wholelottatreble United States +, writes (16 October 2010):

I would just ask him out-my boyfriend is very shy and it always took him awhile to open up...so I found just by taking the initiative a lot of weirdness was avoided...you could say, "Hey, I'd love if you could join me for tea next saturday, wanna go?" Something simple like that...keep it simple and friendly, and see what happens :)

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A male reader, pup1234 United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2010):

pup1234 agony auntjust ask him, i too am very shy, iv never chated some one up, but shy guys have a lot to give, i just needs pushing

make his day, you will not regret it, good luck x

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A male reader, frenchy France +, writes (16 October 2010):

exchange numbers , text him BAM !

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2010):

You've just got to ask him really. The post below offers a good idea, but I'd go one step further and say that you'd just like to meet up, rather than use the word 'sometime', which to a man could mean a month from now.

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A male reader, Ricemonster Canada +, writes (16 October 2010):

Ricemonster agony auntIf you could find out what he's confident about, that might help the situation. I'm assuming that people know about him. So ask around, do a little research.

Next, try setting up a dinner with him with mutual friends of mainly guys. Say: 3 guys and yourself. Then maneuver yourself into a conversation about his hobby or work or something else that he's confident about.

I'm going to assume he also feels uncomfortable in a social setting of strangers. Instead of coffee, try a different approach. Example: you like hiking? He likes hiking? Invite him to go hiking with him!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010):

Nothing ventured nothing gained. If hes shy dont call him. It might put him in a fluster. Procure his number and text. Remind him of who you are and ask if he would like to go for a drink. Often shy guys prefer assertive women. They need them really or nothing would ever happen! My partner is a case in point. He might be bashful at first and decline but dont be put off. Stay in contact by saying you hope he wasnt offended that you asked ect. Keep conversation light and friendly and im sure you will succeed. You might find you have quite a project on your hands though, depending how shy he is. Shyness can be sweet but it can also be a curse. Because shyness can make them rebuff people when they dont mean to. In that sense they can be misunderstood and overlooked many times. So be prepared to be very understanding as you winkle him out of his shell. And remember. You will have to initiate almost everything. Quite literally! All the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010):

Give him your phone number and say it would be very nice to meet up with him sometime. Then it is up to him. He needs to get over this and you will just be giving him a little bit of help.

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