A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:im 14 and i had an abortion in February, and know im depressed and want a baby.what do i do? please help me.i have never been this depressed in my life before please please help me
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female
reader, healer444  +, writes (8 March 2010):
just hang in there i had my baby when i was ur age i was depressed cause i gave my baby up as well he was my life when i saw him beautiful face and he looked at me and they took him :( ull be ok i was depressed for 3 years i finally got to see him and saw how happy he was and i just told him i luv him and left till this day i see him sometimes at the park playing i just say hi and leave but u should hang on and think how happy he is now he will always luv u for ever and i promise ull be ok
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): hey chickie
look i was pregnet at 14 and im now 15 i kept my baby and his now 11 weeks old im 15 and have to live in a program for young mums you think you want a baby dont get me wrong they are great but it not as easy as it looks i lost my family and my man because i got pregnant and i have so many sleepless nights and sometimes i dont think i can cope you would probably be a great mum but when the time is right you will be finish school get a good career girl and give your baby the best life possible not a mum who cant finish school or a mum who cant even look after herself ... DOCS took my baby for 5 weeks and it was hell before this baby i had 2 misscarriages and i 1 abortion so girl i know what it like but dont go there if you want whats best for your baby your better off waiting till your ready this program has 18 year olds who cant cope and would you like to wake up every 2-3 hours change a bum feed him/her bath it 2 times a day listen to it cry all the time go through teething i no what it like girl and im going to end by saying believe me girl you want to wait if you want a good life for you baby
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): im so sorry you fill this way my twin sister got one 3months ago and she stays in my room and just crys it kills me to see her this way. My mom and dad made her get one and thay have payed the price iv went off on them an when she went in to have it done i begged the doc. not to! it was the mose trajic thing iv ever herd in my life! my brother is now a drinker and has droped out of the 12th gr. iv droped out to take care of my sister and im now prego! yes i know we are sum fed up ppl! but my bro knows and hes not lettin them come near me! rip my bff Tara died wile giving birth to her first son! =*[
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): hiya, im kerri and im 15 just turned in like may time, ive just had an abortion, and i was 3 months pregnant nearly 4, im going through exactly the same stages as you, i had my abortion in october and i am really depressed about it, i think you need someone to talk to, was it your boyfriend who you got pregnant to?
write back kerri
xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): I feel so sorry for you.. When I was 15 I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend at the time urged me to get the abortion. I REALLY didnt want to.. But I wanted him to be happy so I did it. It was the worst mistake of my life. I cannot forgive myself. I am now 16.. its been almost 8 months since I got the abortion. Trust me it gets better.. I was depressed for soooo long. My boyfriend left me a few days after the abortion. It really stinks :( But please believe me it does get better. Eventually the pain will fade.. Not completely of course. But you just have to surround yourself with people you love and people who make you happy. If you keep yourself busy then it is easier to take your mind off of it. I prayed for a long time afterwards just to make sure that my baby made it to heaven safely.. I really hope you feel better. You'll get through this. Think of it as a positive thing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): i to am going through this. im 17 and just had an abortion yesterday and all i can think about is my baby and i feel like ive lost a part of me, i was 19 weeks pregnant and had no symptoms until i missed my period. the first abortion clinic i went to said i was to far along and showed me the ultrasound and i saw the baby moving and they said it was a boy. now all i can think about is did i do the right thing. my boyfriend left me when he found out i was pregnant. im really depressed
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): The feelings after an abortion are usually very hard to deal with. They are days of regret,days of anger, days of confusion and days when you wish you had your baby. I know this because I had an abortion myself and above anything else right now I wish I was in my last trimester ready to have my baby. Whatyou need to do is a a psychiatrist and talk to people who will love and accept you despite what your decesion was. That helps alot-I used to put off seeing one and when I decided to see the counselor at my school(a university) I felt like I lifted 50 pounds of burden off of my chest. Also, find activities that you enjoying do, pamper yourself with your extra allowances and engage yourself in creative positive activites that will keep you focused. Remeber to that what you are feeling is normal, there is not to feel bad about, however you should carefully make that decession on if you are really ready to raise and support a baby . Blessings to you
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (6 November 2009):
 I am so very sorry for you. What you are feeling is grief, because someone close to you has gone now. It is completely natural to feel this, and to feel that you want another baby. To be honest, the only real cure for abortion is another baby, or babies. However, you are too young now to have a baby, so you need help - a lot of help - to get you through these days of grief, and to help you become strong again (so that then you can have your next baby - when it is a good time to do so).
You very much need professional counselling and help as soon as possible, sweetheart. You need to talk to people who understand what has happened to you, and who can genuinely help you to cope with your feelings, and look forward to the rest of your life. I don't know who you talked to about the abortion, and who organised it for you, but they probably won't be very sympathetic now, or won't know what to say (eg, if it was your mum, she possibly hasn't had an abortion and doesn't really know what you're feeling). I think you should ring or email right now this helpline - it is for girls in exactly your situation:
http://www.lifecharity.org.uk/
Helpline
0800 915 4600
Text-to-Talk
07786 200 330
Email
[email address blocked]
The women here are really so nice and kind, and they will definitely help you.
I am so sorry again, because nobody tells you before you have an abortion how you will really feel afterwards. They thought they were doing you a favour and looking after you by getting the abortion for you, I know, but I also know that they aren't the ones going through it, and now sadly you are left trying to deal with your feelings. But you will get better, in time, I promise. Call that number right now if you can, or when you get chance.
Email me if I can help any more.
nx
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female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (6 November 2009):
You need to get help! I'm 28 and I had an abortion in April, and for awhile I was a total wreck, but I didn't want another baby. Having an abortion just opened my eyes and showed me that children are not for me. You're 14, don't run out and get yourself pregnant again, that is not the answer, you need to seek out professional help, after my abortion I did see a counselor and still see her once a week. You're still coming down from the hormones, I remember what that was like, it just keeps building and building until you finally lash out.I think about my son, he would've been born this month, but I knew that I could not raise a baby alone. Please get help, don't run out and get pregnant again, you need to live your life before you decide to have kids, get on birth control, Mirena etc.
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (6 November 2009):
 I am sad to hear this, sadly this abortion is something you will never forget.
Of course you will want your baby back -but remember why you did the abortion in the first place? im assuming its because you are so young and its not the right time.
You have to think you've done right by that baby. Abortion is never an easy choice. You have to stay strong.
But you can overcome this depression, if you go to your GP they can refer you to a qualified counselor. You need to see someone soon to get the right treatment.
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female
reader, alwayznd4eva116 +, writes (6 November 2009):
 well im 18, and had an abortion in march. i was almost four months. i really didnt wanna get rid of it but i did what my bf told me to do. he told me i needed to finish skool before havin a baby. but afterwards i was soo mad i listened to him, because it was MY decision. i didnt listen to my heart and even months later, i think about my poor baby that didnt ask to be concieved and i went and killed it. i was soo mad. even more mad at my bf. he purposely got me pregnant, then talked me into abortion. like wtf? he neva had an explanation for me, and now im done with him. on one part, i thank God i didnt keep it because the father ended up bein an asshole. but i still feel guilty. i feel the same way yu do. and i still want a baby..maybe now more then ever. but skool is important, so finish then get a good job. yu culd always have a baby, but skool comes first.
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female
reader, d-m_girl  +, writes (5 November 2009):
 Sweety, think about it logically.Is your body really ready to handle a healthy pregnancy?Most women arent physically mature enough until at least 18.Now i can tell you, yes its normal to want a baby after an abortion. I know... i've had one. But its not that you want *A* baby, its that you want *your* baby back. Because remember, it was a part of you. So you were emotionally attatched to it.But also are you really ready for a baby yet? and would you not prefer to have the funds to look after it correctly? and your own house? and a father for it?When i had my abortion, i wanted my baby back aswell. and i was so depressed, i wanted to kill myself.I can suggest one thing. Funnily enough about a 3 and a half months later, my best friends cat had kittens. And he offered me one.I ended up taking one of the kittens home with me. A little boy =]I treated him like i would have my baby.And he is now 1 1/2 years old, and he's just the best to come home to every day.He meows at the door when im opening it, coming home from work.He sleeps with me on my bed at night uderneath my blankets, and basically cuddles me.He misses me like a child would their parent.And if you put enough time into it, you can teach them to do things, and to be obediant like a child would be.Like my cat. He plays fetch, and he talks to me when i talk to him. He sits down for food on my command. He comes to bed when i tell him to. He comes inside when i tell him to aswell.And he does alot of other things to.But my main point is, he filled that empty hole inside me, that was eating away at me. So maybe get yourself a kitten, or a puppy to raise.Cats have more personality though and are cleaner.but that wont solve it all... so when you're emotionally ready to open up to someone about it, go see a psycologist. because believe me, if you dont deal with it now, it will slowly eat away at you forever. I left it until not long ago to go see one. and im only just starting to feel completely better.Or if you would like to, email me on here and ill give you my email address so you may talk to me about it.I fell for you sweety. I really do.
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female
reader, superdolly +, writes (5 November 2009):
you should go to your doctor or talk to a friend but definitely please dont have a child until you are old enough to pay for it and look after it properly it would be really selfish i know its hard to say but instead of longing after a baby you should go and do things that people your age do. you will have to live with this and youre already starting to feel the regret so go do something constructive you go to school get your grades have fun like people your age do and then bring a baby into the world you need a life plan dont stay in and be alone.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 November 2009):
You need to tell someone you feel this way, and you need to get therapy as quickly as you can. I'm sorry you're in this situation, but don't suffer in silence. There are specialist groups and specialist counsellors who are trained to handle this and who can help you. Be brave and ask for help, even if it's just from your mum initially or your doctor, so you can receive the care you need.
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female
reader, tumelo  +, writes (5 November 2009):
i had an abortion last week im still bleeding and cramp on my low abds, i need 2 ask you a question, how long did you bleed after ur procedure is it normal to bleed for more than 7 days, its light sometimes stops then comes again, dont have appetite, please help. im not ready to have another baby, but sometimes i ask myself why i did it, i want my baby back i have strange feelings.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): I have to ask - if you wanted a baby why did you have an abortion?
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female
reader, witch-fire +, writes (5 November 2009):
 Ok, before we adress the issue of depression; you are 14 sweetheart and shouldn't even be thinking about having children. I've only just started and I'm 21 but know I'm a long way off having them.
Depression can happen after abortion. It's quite common. I would go to your GP and ask for advise on depression. They are your best bet. Hope this helps.
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male
reader, RosesAreRed86 +, writes (5 November 2009):
God, you're 14 and had an abortion? So presumably you started having sex when you were 13? Wow, you are way, way, way, way too young to be having sex or having a baby. Frankly I'm a little appalled. At your age, you are probably not even capable of taking care of yourself, let alone another person.
With that said, your depression is completely normal. The reason you've never been this depressed before in your life is because nothing this significant has ever happened to you before. The only cure for this type of depression is time, and more time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): The best you can do is think maybe you can have a baby when your a little older but wait for a while(please.) Maybe go to therapy and let it all out. So so sorry this is what you are going through hun.
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