A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy during my internship. I didn't get the chance to know him very well while I was there. But after the internship we did kept in touch, we IMed constantly, texted back and forth, etc. He seemed like a really nice guy. He isn't my type at all physically. But his personality more than made up for it. I enjoyed talking to him. We ended up going out a few times which all went pretty well. But recently he started canceling last minute, which I took as a sign that he wasn't interested in me anymore because his excuses were pretty lame and generic. It hurt because I really liked him. But I ended up deleting his number and deleting him from AIM. I accepted the fact that he just wasn't that into me. But the thing that confuses me is that while he made it obvious he doesn't want to date me, he still IMs me and we talk. But I want to get over him and move on, but I don't want to appear rude or immature, so I always respond to him, but I keep my answers short and one worded. While I know in my head I need to get over this, the fact that he still keeps in touch always leaves me wondering when he's going to talk to me or even if he's ever going to ask me out again. BTW, I have never been the first person to initiate contact, he has. So I don't think I'm pestering him or anything. But how do i make myself stop wondering about him?Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): It seems he still wants to be in some contact with you. Try not responding to him at all for a while. See what happens. He is being very luke warm, so no wonder you are confused. No, don't contact him back, see if he comes running. If not, if you don't want to be just friends, don't.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Could you ask him directly what his feelings are, or how he sees the relationship/friendship between you? Maybe he simply wants to be friends, and doesn't realise the way his actions are affecting you. I think the only way you will be able to stop guessing in this situation is to ask him what is going on.
If you feel that you are never going to be more to each other though, and it is difficult for you, then maybe it might be better to tell him you can't remain just friends because it is too hard, and ask to stop contact completely. Find out where you stand with him first, and take it from there. If you see no hope of progress being made and it hurts to talk to him, then consider cutting contact and moving on. But I do recommend asking him first, instead of trying to guess what is going on. Good luck.
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