A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, im 14 and my boyfriend is 15. We both are really ready for a baby and actually have been wanting one ever since summer of 2008. I know for fact i am ready for the taking care part of it, but not so sure about the pregnancy part. I love kids and have always wanted to become a mom ever since i was a little girl. I just need to know im making the right choice. I already know telling im parents will be hard, but i already figured out how im going to do it. Please help me, soon.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Listen, i'm 14 and I was pregnant. When I first found out I only told my bestfriend in my boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. In we are still together. So when I found out I was so scared in scared of what my parents would think. When I told them they were upset in wanted me to break up with my boyfriend. Now Im still with him he lives with my and my family. My parents have a two story home in me and him have the whole second story. We have a kitchen,bathroom, and three bedrooms.On December 15,2010 I gave birth to two healthly twin girls. Me and my boyfriend are still together and Im engaged. When I found out I was pregnant I quit school. At public school I was in 9th grade. With homeschooling i'm finished shool. In just graduated.I would not change my life for anything in the wold. My babies names are Layla Annabelle and Isabel Marie.the are so precious. Im working at a place where I have great insurance. I love my life. It was hard getting started but its easy now. So do what you think is best. Im sure you will make a great decission. good Luck. Message me any time at [email address blocked]
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): listen im only 15 and already a mum to my gorgeous boy Bentley hes 2 months old i had just turned 14 when i found out i was pregnant my ex boyfriend (Bentleys dad) promised me he would be there for me and that he wanted to have a child as well so we went along with the pregnacey 4 months in to it he left me i was scared and did not know what to do, because my mum never took it well and my dad did not even know about it because he lives in England and i dont stay in contact with him
in school i got called all kind of names
labour was the worst part im telling you!! it is so painful and i know why people say they will only do it once
but through all the hurt & pain i would not change my life at all im getting home schooled so im not missing out
but listen i would advise you to wait until you are in a steady relationship with a boy you are going to trust 100% but don't let him make you trust you or force you with words because i know how it feels!!!
but as i said it is entirely up to you
good luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): listen im only 15 and already a mum to my gorgeous boy Bentley hes 2 months old i had just turned 14 when i found out i was pregnant my ex boyfriend (Bentleys dad) promised me he would be there for me and that he wanted to have a child as well so we went along with the pregnacey 4 months in to it he left me i was scared and did not know what to do, because my mum never took it well and my dad did not even know about it because he lives in England and i dont stay in contact with him
in school i got called all kind of names
labour was the worst part im telling you!! it is so painful and i know why people say they will only do it once
but through all the hurt & pain i would not change my life at all im getting home schooled so im not missing out
but listen i would advise you to wait until you are in a steady relationship with a boy you are going to trust 100% but don't let him make you trust you or force you with words because i know how it feels!!!
but as i said it is entirely up to you
good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): Hello , im also 14 years old, but having a baby will change everything , it will be really hard, you wont be able to have a good job. You might feel comfortanble, able and ready,but you might not be. But i want a baby badly at my age now, but i will not because i want my job to be good and the part of giving birth make me nevouse xx 3 just think throught it
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): hi, i'm 14 also and i really wanted a baby ever since i was a little girl, i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years since starting secondry school and he also wanted a child. a week after i turned 14 i fell pregnant with TRIPLETS 2 girls and one boy, im now 7 months and im HUGE!!. Your parents will proberbly go bizerk but in the end of it all its your life and you can do what you want with it! i'm so happy that i'm pregnant and can't wait for evie, imogen & aidan to arrive. my due dates on the 17th september, when were starting school again. i'm not too bothered about my education but once the babies are born i will be returning to school. if your going to go through with it think about your future and the babys. also think about the consiquences i mean im bringing up 3! i come from a rich family so i can afford the costs can you?
but if you want my opinion GO FOR IT!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): heyy (: i was just reading through your forum .
im now 16 and i've bein in a relationship for 3 years , we both have a child together . i fell pregnant unexpectitly when i was 14 , when i found out i was so scared to tell anyone but a had to face up to my responsibilities some time . all my friends told me how stupid i would be if i went through with havein my child as i was still a child myself although my family are against terminations . you think when you tell your parents that they will go crazy but its not like that when your in the situation , they'll be upset but they wont love you any less. anyway i had my child with the support of my boyfriend , friends and family and now i have a young healthy little boy and i wouldnt change him for the world , im not going to lie and say it isnt hard because it is especially when your so young . if you and your boyfriend are realy ready or a child and it isn't just some fantasy , you shouldnt listen to what anyone says , its aboutwhat you and your partner want . i was only 2 months pregnant when i began to show and i got branded a sl*t off most people in our estate although ma boyfriend was my first sexual partner and we are still together . all i am saying just make sure you and your partner are strong enough to handle a baby xx i hope my story helped you xxx all my lovee amanda xxx
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reader, erica1994  +, writes (19 August 2009):
wait a couple of years please i know wat its like im 14 like you and im pregnant. and the onley reason ive not got an abortion is because i dont belive in killing a inisont child. just please wait a few more years
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female
reader, 'Sophie. +, writes (22 May 2009):
Im Going Too Be 14 In A Couple Ov Days, And I REally Wanted A Baby Too. But Think Of All The Things A Baby Needs , You Wont Be Able To Provide All Of Those Things For The Baby , Having A Baby at 14 Is Selfish . I Got Pregnant At 13 And I was Gutted. Unfortanatly That Baby Died After 2 Months In My belly.I Was Gutted . I always wanted a baby since i was younger but when the day came that i found out i was pregnant i was scaired , nerves and worried . even thou you think your ready , You Are Seriously not.And Also When I Told The Babys Dad He Got Scaired And back out . i realized that reality hit us both i knew there was no turning back .i wish that baby would have lived but it wouldnt have ahd a very good life as i was only 13 at the time i wouldnt have been able to give it all the tings it needed it would have broken my heart to see my child not having what other kids have because i cant afford it and was selfish enough to have him. When the baby died i was devostated but at the same time i got a second chance and im not going to rewin this one.x I think you shuld wait for a while x
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): Young lady you are 14 years old. That is no age to be thinking about having children yet. You think you could take care of it but how are you ever going to complete school and make enough money to support yourself as well as another living person? Babies may seem like something great, and in the end they are, but they take a lot of commitment... namely about 18 years worth. I don't think that at age 14 you are ready for a dedicating yourself to a responsibility so huge that it will last longer than you have yet been alive.don't do it. Wait till you have a ring on your finger. Boys will say/do anything to get in your pants and in the end, you'll just end up suffering.
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male
reader, roadman +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Give it a few more years,complete your studies at school 1st then think about it..
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female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Well if she's already made up her mind on it there's nothing any of us could do...
But she must know that if she does have this baby the father could get in serious trouble and such... At 14 it is too hard but it's not completely impossible - it does happen. It's just not sensible at all. She still has school and the rest of her education to get through. Also, her parents could be completely awful about it. There's a lot of cases where the parents disown the child for having children young... But we cannot change her mind if she is ABSOLUTELY set on the idea. I just wish she had a bit more sense... It could affect people, including the baby, badly.
xx
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male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 You say if she wants one.. It's her choice.. That would give her the signal she should not be getting..
Having a baby at 14 cannot be classified as having fun in teenage.. Teenage love stories often turn into adulthood grief stories..
I am no way challenging what you said. I am just trying to say we must try to let her know how difficult it is..
G'day
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female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (3 January 2009):
I didn't say she should have it. If you looked closely I actually said "Although I do think you need a few more years life experience. You do need to live your life a little - enjoy the young years while you can. Being a teenager isn't easy, despite what some people think. It's hard in a different way to adulthood - just get through that first.".
In what way is that saying "have the baby"?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): I have two kids now. I was 19 when I had my first and I was already married. You are not ready for a baby. Do you have thousands of dollars saved for the delivery, what about the baby clothes, diapers, crib and other things a baby needs? Do you have time to stay up all night when the baby is upset? Giving birth is extremely painful. You cannot even imagine it. My second daughter I had completely natural with no pain medication and it felt like my body was ripping apart. I knew a girl who had a baby at about your age and her body wasn't developed enough to push the baby out vaginally so they had to cut her abdomen open. I have met a lot of young mothers and a lot of them are still not ready for children. They leave their kids with their parents and go out and party, hardly ever change their child's diapers and do not know how to calm their child, also a lot of them have children who are falling behind in learning because their mothers do not take the time to read to them or play with them. They would rather go with friends. There are some exceptions. My sister was a good mother at 15 BUT she spent all her time at school and with the baby and never got to just go out with friends. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. I think you need to talk to a school counselor. A lot of pregnant teens drop out of school. If you do, how will you support your child?
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female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 a_decent_1 i think when he wast telling her to go for it he was being sarcastic not really telling her to go for it ..
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male
reader, a_decent_1 +, writes (2 January 2009):
To x-kitycatlok-x,
Do you realize you are the "only one" asking her to go on with it if she wants...? I repeat she is "not good enough" to have a baby.. !! "Physically" and "mentally" ..!!
I don't say it.. Your Government says it. Science says it buddy.. !! A 14 year old can bearly break Virginity.. Let alone the pain of pregnancy.. !! How will they earn..? What will they feed the baby with..? Now u understand what "Not being good enough" means..?
G'day
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Yep. Go for it. Throw your life away. One day when you're old enough you'll realise what a terrible mistake you made.
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female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (2 January 2009):
Firstly, I would like to say I do agree with the other agony aunts with you are too young. I wouldn't think about having a child, but I know I want one years down the line; however, I would like to say that I am appalled at how cruel some people were with what they said. At fourteen years old, of course you know responsibility. Of course you have a certain level of maturity. And a certain line "you're not good enough to have a baby" is COMPLETELY out of order. If she wants one, it's her choice and there's nothing anyone can do about it. But saying someone is not good enough is just wrong.
Although I do think you need a few more years life experience. You do need to live your life a little - enjoy the young years while you can. Being a teenager isn't easy, despite what some people think. It's hard in a different way to adulthood - just get through that first.
Wishing You The Best.
xx
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female
reader, SoftlyCaress +, writes (2 January 2009):
There is plenty of time in life to have a baby right now your still one you need to enjoy your life first of all get a education also ..If you was going to have a baby now who would take care of it the state? Your parents ?? I mean come on you live first then later in life have one dont mess up your child hood . YOU are way to young for a baby now and to even think about bringing a baby into this world at your age in horrible . You need to stay a kid long as you can.
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reader, pinkey1981 +, writes (2 January 2009):
You have to realize a few things. Your talking about bringing a new life into this world that you will be repsonsible for and no matter how mature you think you are, you are not prepared for that at 14. Your gonna go through alot of changes in the next few years and what you think you want now will change between now and adulthood. Dont take this offensively but you yourself and you BF are still children, not yet capable of raising a child. You want to have some life experience before you take that step. Having kids isnt just about what you want but what will be in the best interests of the child and you will want to be able to share your experiences with your child to enrich their knowledge of life and prepare them for adulthood. Really think about this. You only have your youth once and when you have a child you gain in my opinion the biggest responsiblity their is. Live in your youth as long as you can and enjoy it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): To be quite honest, this question kinda scared me a little.
Not that its a bad thing to want a child but to be even thinking about having one at the age 14 is just quite disturbing to me.
My answer is: no, no and no.
Your only 14 years old.
I am actually 14 as well and of corse i want a kid, i love kids.
But that doesnt mean im going to have one.
You have your whole life to be a parent and raising a kid at 14 years old is just not okay.
You need money, you need to really be in love with the father and 14 is just not the age to raise a child under any circumstances.
When you are older it should be a fine thing to want a kid and have one but at this age it is just not acceptable to have one in my mind.
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reader, a_decent_1 +, writes (2 January 2009):
A kid wants to have a kid.. How interesting..You don't even know what responsibility is dear.. No matter how much mature you think you are, you're just not good enough to have a baby..You might even die of pain while delivering a baby at that age.. Do you think your goverment is a fool to have had 16 years as the minimum age to have sex.?G'day
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female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Of course your not ready to have a child. You are still a child now. You have a future ahead of you to prepare for. Have you thought about college?
It is not easy raising a child\kids. I'm 8 months pregnant with my second child and it is not easy.
Rethink the baby issue at an early age.
You have so much to accomplish prior to having a child\kids.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): The fact that you are concerned and apprehensive about telling your parents indicates that you really are not old enough to be making this decision. Your parents have 20-30 YEARS more life experience than you so if you think they'll be shocked/upset/disappointed, stop and think WHY they might feel this way. You are making a permanent life-changing decision. As for wanting to be a Mom since you were a little girl - you still are!! Finish school, travel the world, get a puppy - and then think about having kids.
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female
reader, elisa_lee +, writes (2 January 2009):
 You won't be surprised by the responses you get. Don't have a baby now. It is not ever the right choice to have a baby before you finish high school and college. I know single moms trying to go to school w/ me.. yes some strong people can manage but it's not worth the extra stress and risk of not making it, and then you wouldn't do a good job at supporting your child. You can never count on the dad, as wonderful as his intentions may be. Things happen in life and men often become unable to support their kids. So you have only yourself to count on to support this child.
Don't have a baby now. Wait. It may be hard to wait. Do it anyway. Wait at least a couple years, because it's a decision you live with FOREVER, so make sure you want it. And then wait some more.
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