A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Best friend is a guy and we have been best friends for almost 4 and a half years. A year ago we were at work,and I said out loud how much money he had,even though nobody had heard me, he got mad and lightly slapped me across my face.I got so mad,and he promised he wouldn't do it again. Last summer we were partying and drinking and got into a big fight,and i pushed him to get out of my way, and he grabbed me and pushed me down so hard that I had bruises on my chest. We didnt talk for awhile, and even though I was mad he made me see that it was my fault too. He promised he would never touch me again..The night before New Years Eve we got drunk with our friends, and we were having a blast, and we started playing around wrestling, but he is alot stronger than me, and he slammed me down so hard, it made me upset and so I wanted to show him he cant do that, but he got on top of me and put his hands around my neck and told me to STOP! That made me angry so I spit in his face cause I couldn't breath, and he kept slapping me across my face in front of everyone until I stopped. and I have cuts on my arm but we don't know how i got them. He said really mean things about me in front of everyone, and I said mean things back. but I never wanted to fight in the first place. Later on he crawled into bed with me and held me until I stopped crying and went to sleep. The next morning I looked in the mirror and my eye is all black and purple. :( We both decided it was our faults, so we aren't mad. But its still upsetting me. He had a very abusive dad when he was little, but he swears he is not like him, and never wanted to hit me. So we had to make up a story to tell people so they don't think he is a jerk. I love him so much, and we used to be intimate. He was the boy I lost my virginity to. We are also moving out this summer and getting a house together and going to college together. He tells me all the time how much he cares about me,and he is always constantly calling me. He is My Best friend in the whole world and we have been through so much together. I just want to know if I am over-reacting? I cant leave him, I love him to much, and we have so much planned together for our future. I just need advise on what to do. Thank you.
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at work, best friend, drunk, lost my virginity, money Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Dont do it . The abuse will just continue . I went through the same thing with my best guy friend....he started with the offending and ended up beating me at his brothers party . Through it all I love him to death , but he has became a changed person and I cant be with somebody who hurts me whenever they feel like it and treat me right whenever they feel like it . Yuh cant be with somebody like that either . I know exactly where yur coming from , its hard to let go . Im still hurt over what happened and im tempted to work things out with him but I know it wont work . He is who he is . An abusive man . And neither me or you deserve to get abused emotionally or physically . I'm not somebody to tell you that , but you'll realize it on your own someday ....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): This guy is NOT your friend; he has problems, and if he really thinks he likes you, then his problems are even bigger. He needs help, but a professional one; you can't help him. For your own sake, leave him forever. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): You are not over reacting! Wether it's or fault or not u should never lay a hand on you with out your permmisson. Guys are not suppose to hit girl, let a lone beat them up, guys are born to this world to love a girl not beat them up. Your "Best Friend" is a jerk and I'm sorry for saying this, but you should think more about hanging with him next time. If a guy can hit you once he can always do it again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): I think you need to take a step back and really look at this guy. Is he really worth it? Especially if he seems to act abusive towards you. It seems as though you can't leave him now, but in 10 years will you want to be in this position? Think about it. Do you really love him?
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A
female
reader, loveuxoxo +, writes (2 January 2009):
 sweetie i know how it feels.. but he will never stop abusing u.. its who he is. and i know how hard that is to accept. but you need to be done with him. and i know you love him which makes it the hardest part but he can be a great friend im sure.. but he beats u up. and u HAVE EVERY REASON IN THE WORLD TO BE UPSET. and you should not put up with it anymore. he has told you like 3 time he wont do it anymore and look he is still doing it.. u need to get out before u get seriously hurt.. and if you share a house with him.. things could get very ugly between u guys.. i know you love him and its going to be hard but you need to love yourself enough to get out of there.. you deserve a better friend.. i hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe said that if he had a girlfriend he would never hit her,but since im his friend it was different.He really does love me,and I cant leave him.I dont want to.He does make me happy.Im scared to have him out of my life..
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): listen baby girl i understand how much you love him and i also understand you lost your virginity to him but if he is already abbusing you at our age then you need to leave. i know how hard that sounds but i know from what i have seen. my best friend mom dated a guy who seemed great at first and they dated for a little over a year when she came home and he was drunk for whatever reason and hit her when she said something he didn't like. the next morning he apologized over what had happen and promised never to do it again. she loved him so much she took his apology. about 6 months later they were at a friends house and were drinking were things got rough again and he had thrown her to the ground and left a bruise on her hip. once more he apologized and said he wouldn't do it again. well a year later they got married and had one kid. my best friends moms husband his step-dad abused his mom again and again untill 13 years and 2 kids later she couldn't leave and is stuck to this day in that horrible position. my friend told me this whole story and i've actually heard his step-dad curse his mom out. im sixteen by the way also and belive me when i say there are plenty more great guys out there for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Get away from this guy NOW! He claims to love you and care about you and be your best friend? If he gave a crap at all about you, he would have nothing to be sorry about because he would never have hit you or called you bad names in the first place! I advise you to tell a trusted adult and get away from this young man now!
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