A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here it is, one of the most oft-used opening statements in any relationship question asked on any site like this one; I met a girl online. Yeah, there it is.Just to get it out of the way (because I see stupid comments like this in any question similar), she's definitely a female, and not a 45-year old fat guy sitting in his mom's basement. Yes, I am a healthy person, in a healthy state of mind and I'm capable of having a healthy relationship with the women around where I live.I've always found the idea of online dating stupid and preposterous! How could two people that have never so much as seen each other want to be together!? That point of view has been changed over the past few months.I met this girl five months ago while playing the online game World of Warcraft. We spent a lot of time playing the game together, and then once we both quit playing the game, we moved on to chatting on instant messenger systems, using text, voice chat , webcams and even over the phone. For a long time, I considered her one of my best friends, someone I knew I could rely on. After all, isn't that what a friend is? Someone that will support you, even if they can't be there to do so in person?I'll admit that feelings started to stir for me around the beginning of October, and being somewhat stubborn, I refused to act on them. I didn't believe that it was even possible to take a more-than-friends interest in a girl I had never seen face-to-face. We found ourselves staying up until five or six in the morning, just talking about our interests, ourselves, what we'd seen on TV that day or what movies and/or video games we wanted to check out.I haven't been able to talk to her a whole lot in the last month or so, since she's moved into a house on her dad's property and can only access the internet during an hour or so window during the afternoon from her dad's house until she finds a job and can afford her own internet (damned economy). We still talk on the phone quite a bit, every few days or so, for a few hours at a time. I think we've both made it clear to one another that we're interested, and we've discussed me coming to where she lives to stay with her for a few days a number of times.I know that there's still a stigma on online dating. I still sort of have one, but I just really feel like this could go somewhere. It feels like there's a lot of potential. Should I continue to pursue this, or is it a waste of my time? Thanks a lot for your answers and advice guys.
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best friend, moved in, online game, text, the internet, video games, world of warcraft Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, UnfinishedSymphony  +, writes (8 January 2009):
 If deep down you feel its worth it...then do it.
If you can surrender to the barriers and leap across the many hurdles you both will face from now on...then do it. If you feel you love him...then do it. If you feel like its self-destructive, you have your doubts on how serious and real both your feelings are enough to question eachother or its not working for you...then don't do it. No matter what anyone tells you, i'm sure you've already made your mind up without being that aware of it. If it feels right do it. If it doesnt, then ask yourself this question you've asked us.
A
male
reader, tamashck  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Im sort in the same boat as you - i met a girl online last year and we got to know each other really well. We view each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, and we're going to meet up sometime in the near future. I do belive that you can love someone youve never met, but only if theres some sort of progression in sight. If youre just going to talk to her and never meet, then obviously itll be nothing more than a friendship. But if your heart tells you that you love her and she feels the same way back, then you should consider talking about meeting up. It would be so much better just to act on your feelings, than regret not doing anything for the rest of your life...
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A
female
reader, jakaherbie +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Hi,
You sound kind of down on yourself about how you met someone who sounds a really great girl...please don't be.
I read your post as I'm in a similar situation, I met a guy online, kinda by accident too, and our situation is kinda complicated too as he no longer has internet connection (only on a mobile) as he moved for work.
He's from the U.S - I'm from the U.K!
We have been comunicating in the same ways you have with your woman friend, talking about similar things too..
Like you I have always been down on the whole idea of internet dating but I think as I never set out to date online as it were it's different.
I think of it in a similar way to the war years when women would write to the troops and very often a relationship would spring out of those corrospandances...and I'd never of been able to met him if it hadn't been for a chance meeting online!
I have also been considering if I'm being a bit of a retard afterall how do you know you can trust someone who you've never technically met?
Well I guess the answer is, in a way you already have met them...and just because you met them in an unconventional way does not mean that the feelings you both share are anything less than real...afterall, you can't always trust the people you see everyday can you?
My advice to you is to stop fretting about it and enjoy what you have.
If she makes you happy and you her, then why spoil a good thing?
Just relax and enjoy it!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Now this i have alot of experience in. I too met my GF on Wow and have been together now for the last 2 1/2 years and been living together for over a year. Sometimes its great to be able to overlook the physical aspect of dating and go straight to getting to really know each other. Sometimes the physical gets in the way of really getting to know another person. True love comes from the heart not from what you see. Seeing someone can cause a spark but getting to know someone personally and intimately can cause passionate fire. Pursue away in my opinion. In this day in age you can connect with people from around the world and i think the stigma is wrongly placed. If you like her and feel like it could go somewhere, do what your heart tells you to do and not what society tells you that you should do.
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A
female
reader, chicka28 +, writes (2 January 2009):
you shouldnt continue to date online.because if your going to date online.whats the point when all your ever going to see is their picture.and if you guys are planning on ever meetin up then that gives you a reason to continue to date.but other then just instant messaging.then your just wasting your time on the computer when you could be looking out in the open for the right person.
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