A
female
age
26-29,
*rincess_Glamm
writes:I am 13 and me and My And My Boyfriend have been together for nearly 3 months now and i no he wants too have sex and so do i but i am a virgin so he will be my first. i am really scared.! What position is best for the first time? Everyone says missionary but he said he likes it with the girl on top and how do you...you know....move.!? =S Help Me!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DinoKeri  +, writes (16 June 2009):
I'm also 13. I have been dating my boyfriend for about as long as you. I turn 14 soon and my boyfriend will be 16. I also think i am ready to have sex. My boyfriend has before and i have talked to him about it.
So i think that if your ready and sure you love him it doesn'tmatter what you do..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): DONT!!!! Im 13 too and I believe sex should only be for married couples. And think about it, you say that you love each other but what about when you are 15? 20? 30? My advise is to wait until you have found the man you will stay with the rest of your life. He will most likely stay with you for a long time. It is good if you marry a Christian, because they want to make the relationship work (most of the time). You should also talk to your parents about it, and they can help you see why it is not a good idea to lose your virginity at age 13!
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female
reader, fabulus555  +, writes (20 May 2009):
hey! i am 13 too. and i have BF. but if he asks me to have sex, anyway i will say NO... coz i am scared and coz i am 13
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): Heyy I'm 13 also and I'm dating a 17 year old and he asked me to have sex and said no not until I'm older and he said okay he can wait soo I mean if he relly loves you then he won't mind if you say you dont want to but PLEASE dont do it cuzz there are soo many risks just think about that first!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): Hey...I'm 13 and haven't even had a boyfriend and people are having sex too young ...it's unbareable.don't do it it's the safest thing to do.tell his to masterbate And trust me he'll go running to another girl. Sometimes when my friends go on about their boyfriends it makes me sick even when I think about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): im 13 too
ii have been pressured into having sex before and i hated it
im just going to tell you
dont do it
u will regret it sooner or later
;)
Lyy xxx
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female
reader, meforyou +, writes (24 January 2009):
I lost my virginity wen i was three years ago when i was 18 and i remember wen i was sixteen and wanted to lose it but i never thought about sex wen i was thirteen. i cant understand why you would fink about it at thirteen. arent girls of your age still playing dress up and pretending to be mum with your dolls?? PLEASE dont rush into it, your still a child. i lost my virginity at 18, got pregnent at 19 and was a mom at 20! think about it hun, ope you do the right thing. god bless x x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): gurl im 13 i dont even think about havin sex a boyfriend is ok but sex is a big step im very mature for my age think about it when your married your not goin 2 b able 2 give your husband your virginity he would b happy 2 kno dat hes was da only person 2 had had sex with u but if u dont listen 2 me a least use a condom
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): your an idiot! full stop
dont have sex at that age, in fact you shouldn't have sex at all until marriage but at least wait untill you over 16.
for goodness sake!
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male
reader, spudgun +, writes (26 December 2008):
hang in there love im 13 and i want to have sex but remember use a comdom and dont do it to often if i do have sex i will make sure im in love
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male
reader, Who? +, writes (17 November 2008):
3 months? Waay to little, first time I had sex I was 16, and I had known my GF for 5 years.
I'd say go ahead if you really love him, but remember, that if this is your first time, it might hurt, might not hurt at all, and might hurt so much you'll be crying. It differs from different people, but remember that it is neither of yours' fault. I'd suggest researching the topic if I were you.
If you decide to continue, make sure that your partner does not "own" you and that gives you what you give him, i.e. oral sex, etc. Be romantic. If you are going to have real sex, make sure either you are on Birth control pills or he is using a condom.
People have been having sex as long back as any story goes. STD's, cancer, etc. have not worried anyone until very recently. Don't be scared, and try to relax, or the experience will be a bad one.
I suggest you don't start with any solid position, just "go with the flow".
Good luck,
Who?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): your 13, ive got a 14 year old sister and i hate the thought of her thinking about sex, your still a kid you shoud be having fun not having sex. If tour friends have done it who cares, at the end of the day if the dude your with was all that special he wouldnt b pressuringyou into having sex.
i think its disgusting that people are actually giving you avice on what position to use, if you want advice the best advice anyone can give you is to wait it out if you really want to have sex wait till you know him a bit better dondo it because your friends are. and if your not interested in the honest advice then.....my i only hope is that you dont regret if after.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): Hi im 13 also my advise is if you really want to go all the way use protection and dont do it because someone said to i wont lie im not a virgin but i had been wit the same girl for 2 years and after that day she left me so if you really love him wait
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): heyy im basically in exacterly the same pesition here.
im 13..have know'n my bf for 3-4 years and we have been dating for 4months...i wana have sex but i am scared in a way.
people are commenting saying dont do it! dont do it! but the sad thing is we proberly will do it regardless to what people are saying:(.
so if anyone is giving advice answer our question and down just say nooo.!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008): This is actually really sick...grown men telling 13 year old girls sex tips..its disturbing...all teenage questions should be answered by qualified people not random people who could be perves...this site is not cool at all.you are messing with kids lives..i am disgusted that this site is getting away with it...very wrong!! You people should all be telling her its illegal and not do do a thing!! you are NOT qualified..omg this is so wrong how can i report this!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): Great Mr anonymous, you give her advice for the deepest penetration, but you've forgotten she's a virgin, and that will bloody hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): My girlfriend like the doggy-style position, where she puts her head and chest on the bed and raises her butt up in the air, so I get my penis into her vagina. She loves it that way cuz she says it allows for really deep penetration of her vagina by my penis, so you might try that one. She has had a couple of orgasms that way.
Be sure your BF uses a condom, so that you don't get pregnant, cuz that could really mess up your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): dearest please girl do not do this honestly 3 months is way to soon especialy for somone your age but if your absoultely going to missionary and just ignore him he sounds like a arse anyways
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female
reader, Milana +, writes (17 August 2008):
Don't be talked into anything. First time is not the time to be riding him like a rodeo bull. If you have never had sex and don't know how to move then wait until you are with someone that doesn't tell you how to do it. It will more than likely hurt and you won't be doing much moving on top, except to get off of it because it doesn't feel good. If he has already had sex and you are only 13 then you need to say goodbye to those 3 wasted months you spent with him and take time to grow up and understand what you want/need in a boyfriend. Tell him you're not going to have sex anytime soon and see if he really wants to be with you or if he just dumps you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): ?..ONLY 3 MONTHS..WOW...NO...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): ?..ONLY 3 MONTHS..WOW...NO...
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): honey im 14 and i have done it 3 times already now thats not saying go out and do it the reason i did it is because i thought i loved this 17 year old who whould always tell me im beutiful well he moved away and told me the day he was moving it broke my heart ... what im saying to you is do what you will its your life live it ...but if you are going to do it PLEASE use pertection my friend is pregeunt and shes my age ..... best position i think is who ever is more expereanced goes on top
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female
reader, sunbunny +, writes (9 August 2008):
Sweetheart you are far too young... and probably not mentally prepared to go through with it... i waited until i was 20... 3 months is also a very short period of time to have been together to be thinkin about sex.. you are brave for asking for advice but stop and think!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): all the other answers are 100% right. u r way too young to have sex. like someone has already said tell him ur not ready yet and see if he sticks around.
i'm 16 nearly 17 and i'm a virgin, and proud. some of my friends lost their virginity at 12/13 and they regret it sooo much it still haunts them. wait till ur older and have a long term relationship, as in a year or more THEN start thinking about sex. but for now have fun being young and immature lol, and i mean that as a good thing because its fun being immature and young.
gd luck
x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): im 15 i had sex and got herpes. and everyone knows it to. DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, Angle79  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 You are so young my dear! 13?? From my culture, women have to keep their vaginity for only their husbands.
Anyway, i would not ask you to do the same as our people here. We are from different places, culuture but again you are just 13, and some more having sex with a man whom you just met for a few months, its not worth it. You are not mature yet! Do not take the risk my dear. Wait until you meet a very speical man. Don't play with it. It could be fun today but it could also hurt you badly. Stay safe my dear.
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female
reader, betty backstabber +, writes (8 August 2008):
 this frustrates me quite badly. i was almost 15 when i lost my virginity to an 18 year old man who took me for granted, and totally used me. I can never say that i have been as hurt in all my life, and it took me months and months to get over it. I started self harming, drinking heavily, i stopped eating i went down a fast track of utter depression because of it and here i read a 13 year old girl is wanting to have sex?? You are way too immature and naive to have sex right now, wait until you are at least 15, 16 years old if not even older to fully know when its the right time.
at 13 years old i was still dreaming of rosey white weddings and six children, i never even thought of sex! i cant believe that its on the minds of children as young as that. it only appears that i am preaching because i know how much it hurt me. older men take advantage of young girls really easily, they tell you how beautiful you are and how your the perfect girl for them and then they get what they want and leave, no second thoughts about it. you don't want to go through that, trust me. just tell him your not ready and see if he sticks around for long after that cause i bet you he won't.
also imagine if one time protection doesnt work, or you "forget" to put it on and you get pregnant at 13 years old! and i bet you join this major list of abortions that are happening in this day and age which i find morally wrong and disgraceful. your not responsible enough to have sex! just go hang out with your friends and relax for a few years before your old enough to understand.
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female
reader, krishiwishi +, writes (7 August 2008):
Hello, I am a mother to a 13 YR. old girl and I would say to her please wait until at least 18 and in a relationship for at least a year. To be sure he really does care about you and is at least able to accept the responsibility of you both becoming parents. And it does happen the 1st time. Be smart respect yourself and have morals and values just because you give yourself to him doesn't mean he will love you and take care of you. PLEASE DON'T DO IT!
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female
reader, loria  +, writes (7 August 2008):
Frigid who cares what about being known as easy thats more of a pill to swallow. You could decide to wait and be a roll model for your freinds and teach and learn a valuable lesson about self control and the will to not do something that your unsure about just to please another person, if you werent unsure you wouldnt be asking for strangers advice. I am in know way telling you what you should do after all your a teenageer lol but just ponder it for a while ok
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (6 August 2008):
The best position, for your situation, is sitting upright in a chair - with two aspirin tablets held tightly between your knees - and your mother watching.
The question itself shows that you do not have the mental knowledge, or the personal responsibility, or the emotional maturity to be having sex.
And your boyfriend is even less ready.
Get some different friends.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Don't have sex before at least 18! You are not mature enough for sex!!!
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female
reader, bagsy81 +, writes (6 August 2008):
The problem with the people is if you don't do it you might be labeled fridged but if you do it for the wrong reasons you could be labelled a slut.
The only reason you should EVER have sex at any age is because you want to have sex and share your self on a physical level with someone who makes you feel good and safe.
The other thing to consider is he is 17 and you are 13 which legally you are under tha ge of consent but he is an adult. Techinaly by law its sex with a minor.
Good luck and let me know what happens (and I am sure it goes with out saying but no matter what, this includes him begging or saying his other girlfriends didn't ask for one make sure you use a condom) XXXX
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 it frustrates the hell out of me to know that the ONLY reason you wanna have sex is becuase your friend is going to and you dont wanna be considered frigid. how stupid can you get? im not saying this to hurt your feelings. im saying this because, if you read down through all these great answers you will see that these reasons are no way to decide to share that with someone. do you even know how dangerous it is? std's, pregnancy, pain, bleeding, awkwardness....sound fun? and the best part is he'll probably dump you once he gets his way. your are 13!!! you are still a child for gods sake calm down. he's old enough to know NOT to pressurise you into doing this. sounds like an ass if you ask me. and so does your friend. she probably doesnt wanna have sex at all and is scared of doing it alone....mature.
you need to grow up, cop on and get some sense.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): You present as aged 13 (underage) and currently living in the UK. It is illegal for you to have sex at your age. Your boyfriend at 17 is seen as an adult, and he could go to jail if people find out. He could also get his name placed on the "sex offenders register" for the rest of his life. You are too young to have sex. Your friend only wants you to do it, because when people call her names, she will say you did it too. Your not ready for sex, you don't even want to do it. You only want to impress some stupid girl who will probably talk about you behind your back. Your boyfriend is 17, you've only known him for 3 months. Do you really thing this is long enough to take off you clothes, lie on your back and allow him to penetrate you. What happens next? Do you two get married. Will you spend the rest of your lives together. This is a really dumb idea. Your not even having sex because you want it, you just want to impress some other people. What happens if your friend suggests you both go out and have more sex with lots of different boys, you gonna follow her and do that as well? This won't make your guy respect you. He'll dump you soon enough and laugh with his mates about how he got sex off some young stupid girl.
Yes I'm rude, and yes I'm offensive. But this is a really dumb idea. Your gonna give your virginity to some guy you've been with for 3 months because you don't want people to think your frigid. You need to forget about boys and sex, you need to get yourself an education about sex. A virgin can't be frigid, don't they have sex education where you live.
You think this is a good idea, here look at this post that came in earlier today. This is from a 13 year old, look where underage sex has taken her. I don't want you to be in the same position. Sex at your age is not fun. It will probably hurt, you might bleed, and it rarely feels good the first time.... Anyway, your life, your choice. You've been given some very good advice. You can listen to us, or you can listen to your friend. But if you decide to have sex, please use a condom to make sure your safe.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-13-and-scared-that-i-might-be.html
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male
reader, hi639 +, writes (5 August 2008):
Im also 13 dont do it i just make out wit my girl and we go on the the same swing set but i dont think we are early enough for sex
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Calling a girl frigid because she won't put out is blackmail. In my day guys would call girls "cockteasers" or would claim if you didn't go all the way they would suffer from the dread disease called "blue balls". It's all alot of crap. Trust me, they really, deep down, respect the girl who says no.
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male
reader, saltwater +, writes (5 August 2008):
 You want to have sex because someone else told you to do so and will think that your frigid if you don't...?
Sex ain't a casual activity. You only 13.
Everyone here has given you great advice. Ignore it at your own risk.
XD
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female
reader, scrazy +, writes (5 August 2008):
 He's 17?!
This boy is a pedophile, he'll be put on a list of Sex Offenders if he sleeps with you, because you are a MINOR.
And you are NOT frigid for not sleeping with him, you're smart! Don't be a stupid little girl, having sex with him does not make you a woman or any more mature.
So what if your friend is going to be an idiot and have sex after 2 months with a boy? Let that be her decision, not yours!
Even if you do sleep with him, the relationship will NOT last. It's probably best if you just dumped him and moved on, because he'll dump you after he has sex with you or he'll dump you if you say no.
And that's all I have to say. The choice is yours.
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female
reader, scrazy +, writes (5 August 2008):
Well, I can't tell you anything more then everyone else has already said, but seriously sweetie?
Don't do it.
Do you know what they call girls at your age for having sex? Sluts. Whores. Dumb Kids.
I'm only a couple years older then you and I know what you're going through, with your hormones out of wack and your boyfriend wanting to jump into something I guarantee that you are NOT ready for.
You've only been together for 3 months! I'm telling you, if he's so eager to get into it, he'll be ten times faster running away. Don't let him take something so precious to a girl, save it for someone who doesn't need you to have sex with them.
Sex will NOT make them love you. Sex is not going to strengthen the bond, no matter what you think. Especially because it's not like the movies - it's messy, sweaty and sometimes uncomfortable. Especially after your first time, if you're nervous and not wet enough, he could seriously hurt you!
It's not even legal for you to have sex at this age! Could you at least consider waiting until you're 16?
Trust me, it's best to wait. You are too young to realize the consequences - STI's, unwanted pregnancy... the list goes on!
All the best love!
XO
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female
reader, Princess_Glamm +, writes (5 August 2008):
Princess_Glamm is verified as being by the original poster of the question the boy is 17 and we have nown eachother for nearly a year.!
Umm.....i want to have sex because my m8 was saying go on then because she is going to have sex with her boyfriend after 2 months and i said thats stupid and i want to do it but i dont want them to think i am frigid if i dont.!
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reader, bagsy81 +, writes (5 August 2008):
Okay, How old is the boy?
Why do you want to have sex?
I am 26 now so 13 was not exactly a million years ago for me and I honestly could not remeber once thinking aobut having sex at that age. I do know that when I started having sex when I turned 18 that it dawned on me how much you have to worry about when doing it. The last thing you should be worried about is position.
STD's, pregnancy, can you really trust the person you are having sex with?, do you feel respected by this person?
Please think aobut being young whilst you can and let your adulthood antics begin when you are an adult.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Your 13! get ready for the name calling cause when I was at school, we all know what girls did that when they were 13
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): ok,im 13 too,and guess what im wearing on my left ring finger?A PURITY RING,that means that i will NOT have sex until after marrige,and when i do get married,i will replce this ring with a engagment and wedding ring.Yes, im excited for sex and i ant to do it NOW however, im young, and i DONT want to get pregnant,i have my whole life ahead of me!if i have a baby, one my parent will KILL me and two, a 13 year old boy isnt gonna support you,he will leave you,besides, from what i no, alot of girls start to bleed, expecially when we r small still,so it hurts, you wont enjoy it, neither of you will,and where r u going to have it? come on, get your head out of your ass girl, that not what you want to do.but, if you still want to have sex after these answers, i would say you do the lap dance, easy.
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reader, saMmii3waMmiie  +, writes (5 August 2008):
Wow gurl your only 13...wait a while trust me it would be better n more special n pluse u only known this guy for three months u need to like wait 6months or a year and do it cause you feel ready not cause he wants to...ok n pluse there r many fishes in the sea so if u tell him no n he dumps u you will find some1 and there be even better.....much luv...
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reader, Wegro101 +, writes (5 August 2008):
his hormones are raging up.so he doesnt love you hes just horney every1 is when there 13
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reader, loria +, writes (5 August 2008):
whenI was thirteen my boyfreind wanted to have sex and I said no he of course cheated on me but I new how he felt about me if he cares for you he will wait My next boyfreind wnated to ahve sex and I said no and he respected me for it and I was glad that I made the right choice for ME not for anyone else cause I new I wasnt ready its a big big thing now adays its made into nothing but it isnt 13 is young Im not gonna tell you what to do cause youll amke your own choices but remember that the choices you make shape your life forever education is power read up on the positions of sex and if they scare you just looking at them then youll know your not ready
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reader, !Candice16! +, writes (5 August 2008):
 sweetie , dont do this. you may think you want to but your going to regret it later on. he is a guy so you hav to think : is he really going to care about me after i give him what he wants? : your still soooo young so dont do this . you should wait a while longer. and if he loves you he will wait untill you and him are both ready. you may want to but there is a diffrence between wanting to hav sex and being ready for it. but if you do , then use PROTECTION!!!!!!!!!. plz be smart and dont do this... but if you must then be safe. plus just do what both of u want. make your first time special and loveing. if i were you i would tell him to be jentle and use protection. be safe and careful.
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female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Are you wanting to have sex because you really want to or mostly because he does and you want to please him?
The right time is when you feel absolutely no pressure from a boy to do so and when you are not doing it because you think a boy will like you more if you do.
Have you have talked about pregnancy and STDs and have a reliable form of birth control and condoms.
You don't even have to have sex at all. Tell him you want to wait until you are married and see what he says.
When you and your bf spend time together, what do you usually do?
Best wishes xo
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female
reader, littlesuziepie +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Everyone is right. You could regret this for ever. So many bad things can come from underage sex. You just don't know them all yet because you are underage. Its best to wait. Wait a few more year to when you know more. So you can protect yourself. And having sex early before you are ready can lead to a bad reputation. Be different. Say no.
If you really want to keep a boy interested in you then make him wait wait wait. If he stays with you for several years until you are ready then you know for sure that you have the most special part of yourself to the man that loves you.
Wouldn't you want to be able to say to the man you love and that truly loves you that this is your first time. That he is the first one. He will love that. Love you more for it and it should be with the man you plan to marry. I know that's not realistic in the world today so just make sure he is someone you would marry and he loves you so much and your in an adult relationship. If you have to sneak around. Or find hiding places to do it you could end up with a disease. He could be too imature to pull it out or wear a condom and you end up prego. Hard to explain to the parents. Good luck. Talk to a doctor or parent or older person you trust. Please
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male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (5 August 2008):
 For a start he doesnt know what the hell he is talking about, all the information he is getting is from his dad's porn mags I would guess.
Secondly, you should really reconsider, at 13 are you old enough to take this step ? You may think you are , but remember, boy's talk. You do know that everyone at school will find out the moment you two have sex. Everyone.
I've never met a boy who doesnt brag when they "bag" a young girl. So be prepared for the label that will inevitably be attached to you (easy,loose,tart..sorry but this is the reality ).
You might just be better off waiting a few years.
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Well 13 is a bit young, I wouldnt give my own daughter advice at your age about which position so I feel I have to say the best position for you for a few more years is knickers on and legs shut x
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Your only thirteen! Sex isnt even legal until youre 16! Are you sure youre ready for it? Are you sure he isnt just going to have sex with you then dump you? Thats what some lads do, as harsh as it is. I cant tell you what to do but if i was you Id wait until I was legal or until Id been going out with the lad for a lot longer!
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male
reader, saltwater +, writes (5 August 2008):
Whoa calm down there.
Are you sure sex is the right thing to do? You're only 13 for goodness sake. You're underage, and you have only been going out with your boyfriend for 3 months....what happened to getting to know each other first?
We obviously can't tell you what to do...other than to say that you are about to engage in a potentially horrendous experience. Unwanted pregnancy, diseases, infections, etc are all likely scenarios that could occur if you go throuh with this.
The reason you're scared is because you're underage, and it also means that you shouldn't be having sex.
When you are about to have sex with someone who love and trust, why would you be scared to have sex with them?
Answer: you wouldn't.
The fact you're scared speaks volumes.
You say he wants to have sex, but do *you*....?
Think carefully about whether you really want to go through with this at your age.
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (5 August 2008):
 okay I am not going to preach you. BUT..i have to say.
Thirteen is still very young to lose your virginity. I'm saying wait til marraige, but you want to wait to give it to a very..very special guy. Dating a boy for 3 months is not enough time.
Please don't be in a hurry to grow up. Also don't think if you do this..he will love you.
I ask you to reconsider until you are least 17. I don't want you to regret it. We all look back on our first time so make sure that everything is right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): The bonus of girl on top is that you can control the depth and speed of penetration. But missionary is the easiest, so it's probably best to start off there, and once you feel comfortable, try newer positions.
Most importantly, get on some sort of birth control (the pill, and once you start taking it, wait a month before you have sex because it takes a while to kick in) before you have sex AND wear a condom. Do both! It's the best way!
Good luck.
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female
reader, brown sugar +, writes (5 August 2008):
 you should not be doing that until you get married or talk to your mother about this, this may change your life you should focus on your education not sex but please rtalk to your parents first
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